sixwordstories | (no subject)

A gay man's penis is different from a straight man's?

Oh, here we go. There's always one. I'm not fucking homophobe, dude. The dude in question is one of my best friends, that's all. See? I have gay best friends, you don't need to send drag queens with pitchforks after me.

Don't know any drag queens. I just didn't realize there was any difference between the dick a gay guy has and the rest of the male populace. It's a dick.

You might not be homophobic but you make yourself sound like one saying things like that.

I take it you walked in on Kurt and Blaine getting it on?

Been there, done that. Got the new patch for my fag hag uniform. :P

Everyone's dick is different, dude. And I certainly don't wanna see my gay best friend's dick. Or any dick for that matter.

Then don't be so sensitive and get context before you bite. Easy.

Do they ever fucking stop fucking?! They were more fun when they were virgins.

You got a patch? I want one.

They are sort of every where. Public restrooms. The shower at the gym or preschool in your case.

It isn't a matter of context. You called it a 'gay dick' that's like people saying two men or women getting married is a gay wedding. It's not. It's just a wedding. It's just a dick. You make yourself sound either homophobic or stupid.

I don't think so. And Kurt's a lot more fun now that he's not... We hags get the scraps of detail he's willing to throw out there for us... Which isn't much, but hags appreciate gay sex on a deep level... And we'll take what we can get. ;)

You can't have one. You don't have the legs for the hag uniform. :P

Like hetero dick is so fucking gorgeous.

Preschool? Got no idea what you're talking about, dude. Like, at all.

It is gay dick. It's attached to a gay dude. Who was getting it on with another gay dude. I think we maybe need to just end this before you get tempted to keep labelling me a homophobe when I'm not. So, cheers for the comment and all that. But, bye.

Huh?

Careful, Puckerman... Your brain might ooze out your ears.

I'm sure it's a way cool dick, but I don't wanna see my mates' dicks!

To hear them tell it, both of them are rocking the worlds' most epic dicks... I'm inclined to believe them if how much they fuck is any indication.

You can keep the deets, babe. Jury's still out whether Kurt's gonna kill me for even seeing what I did. Once he's outta the post fuck haze, it could still happen.

But I had to see it too! I should at least, I dunno, get fucking cookies or something.

You're implying homosexual cock is somehow different, and grosser, than straight dick.

And don't hand me any "some of my best frieeeeeeeeeeeeends are homos!" bullshit. It's fucking dumbass fratboy privilege, and you ought to be ashamed. Comments like that - even if that's not what you meant - contribute to an environment of hate. If you cannot realise that, you're being deliberately ignorant. And if you have gay friends? They shouldn't be your friends, period.

So! In summation? Your dick is ugly, too.

Nah, I'm not actually. That's just how you're reading it.

Yeah, it probably is. And I ain't a homophobe. See the conversation above. I can call my gay mate's dick a gay dick if I want to. And I'm gonna keep doing it. If it offends you, quit replying to me because it doesn't offend him.

I'm pretty sure they have the most epic sex lives of any of us, and they were virgins a LOT longer than most of us. You really might die, though. I'll come to your funeral... Put some pretty flowers on your grave and everything.

Do you want cookies, Puck? I can bake you, "I'm sorry you saw Kurt and Blaine having sex" cookies. :P

Non. It's how you come off to anyone who has had the shit kicked out of them for being gay.

Dude, are you stupid? Like, actually? It's okay if you are. Some people are just born that way. It's like being born with red hair - not your fault.

It was pretty epic. For a short dude, anyway. How do they not chafe? They're worse than me... only monogamous.

Wait, am I allowed to talk about short people here without getting reefed a new one? 'Cause I ain't allowed to talk about gay people.

Did you feel inferior? :P Blainers was complaining about his ass hurting yesterday. LOL. You're a slut... You fuck a lot of people... They fuck the same person a lot of times.

Yeah, well, fuck the haters. They probably think Kurt's a homophobe for calling his girls his fag hags... Or me for calling you my lesbro.

I'm talking about how you sound less intelligent than a toddler in preschool. Just because you have a gay best friend doesn't mean it's okay to run around putting the word gay in front of everything like it's a cute accessory.

It's offensive.

Dude. The sentences were two separate sentences. You mashed 'em together because you're looking for a fight to pick about homophobes and I ain't getting into it. I'm scarred for seeing the dick of my gay mate... or any mate for that matter. It happened to be a joked aimed at my FRIEND. Not because it was fucking gay dick. Christ.

Also? The dude in question has had the shit beaten AND kicked outta them for being gay, so please get your facts straight before you jump into other people's business trying to shit-stir.

If I did, I ain't admitting to it :P Actually, I'm fucking impressed at Kurt's skills, can't even lie. Didn't know the dude had it in him.

Kurt a homophobe. LMFAO!

There's gotta be something to be said for that committed relationship stuff, huh? I'm totally happy for 'em. I know they both been to hell and back to find it, and they actually make it look damn fucking appealing. Hopefully I don't die so I can sing at their wedding.

I wanna see you fit those words onto tiny cookies now. And you're hot when you bake.