sixwordstories | (no subject)

So... did you decide where you're gonna go? ~~I really wish you weren't gonna...~~

For now, back to Lima so my dads can fill me with their middle-aged wisdom on what my best next move is ~~and while I listen to them bemoan you and bitch about you for not taking care of me like you promised you would whilst telling me I'm way better off without you~~.

Sure there's nothing I can do to change your mind?

Nope. I think the lay of the land is pretty much the lay of the land.

Even if I begged, cried, and baked you vegan cookies?

You really honestly think that would make everything perfect? Yeah, shut Rachel up with cookies. That will get her out of my face and stop me feeling guilty.

No, actually. I don't think it would make everything perfect. I just... I'm really sorry for not making you feel like I wanted you around. After everything we went through together, Rach... I took you for granted, and I know I did. I just wish you didn't have to go.

I've got nothing to stay for. Nothing. Do you realise I haven't had sex since us? That is pathetic.

Are you serious?

You've... Am I the only person you've ever been with at all?

I know, it's pathetic. You don't have to rub it in.

I'm not rubbing it in... And I don't think it's pathetic, either. I just... I guess I was wondering why more than anything.

It's always something I wanted to be special. My first time wasn't, by any stretch of things. I want my next time to be something I can cherish, but no one ever wants to be with me long enough to get to that point.

I'm sorry I took that experience from you, Rach... I wish there was a way I could make it up to you, but that's kind of a hard thing to make up to somebody.

It wasn't like it wasn't consensual. I fucked up too. I just doubt my track record is going to change any time soon.

Well, yeah, I know, but I could've made it special for you, and I didn't... I've let you down in so many ways... I know I have.

Yes, well, now you're not going to be the single bachelor you have always been. You have other priorities. Nothing is like it was and I really, really don't want to be a fifth wheel. I lack enough self-worth as it is.

Who said that? I mean, Quinn and I slept together, but we never said there was going to be a relationship that came out of it. I don't know if we're going to be anymore than friends or not.

It's still the dynamic Puck. You always had a thing for her. She's gorgeous, she's successful, she's the best friend of your best friend's other half.

So that means that we can't even be friends anymore? That's... Shit, I don't know what to say, Rachel. Nothing I say is going to fix anything, and that sucks.

I didn't say that. I just said I can't sit around here stuck and stagnate on absolutely everything in my life, making appointments to see my friends because their lives are moving in a different direction to mine, while they're happy and I'm not.

I can't spite you that, babe. Nobody should spite somebody their happiness. I couldn't do that to you. Even though I hate that it has to take you away from me... Us... Me and Blaine.

You two will be fine. You have each other, and Mercedes and Quinn now. Plus, I hear Santana is back in town, and Jeremy and Sebastian.

Yeah, only there'll be a Rachel shaped hole, and I'm pretty sure none of those people would fill it just right.

We've hardly seen each other in the past few months and you survived really well. It can't be that big a hole.

You're one of my best friends and I love you... It's gonna be a big hole.

What do you want from me?

Doesn't really matter so much what I want from you if it ain't what you need.

Typical. I'm not even worth enough for you to give me a straight answer. And you wonder why I'm going.

Okay, you want a straight answer? I don't want you to go. I want you here. I want to have both of my best friends, and I want to be able to move forward without letting go of the important people from my past. I want you with us here in Miami. You're a part of us, Rach. You're part of me, and a part of me that nobody else is ever gonna have. I just don't want you to go, okay?

No, I'm not part of you, Puck! You're moving on, and I'm miserable! I have nothing. I'm alone. I hardly ever see you guys anymore! Why can't you understand any of this? I don't want to be alone. Loneliness is the worst fucking feeling in the whole world, right up there beside rejection, failure, and unrequited love.

Yes, you fucking are. You have been since... Since the day I found out you were pregnant. You're the reason I grew up, Rach... You helped me become a man, and a good one. And you didn't give up on me, even when I probably deserved it. I don't want you to feel lonely anymore.

Do you realise we only ever talk about anything important online anymore? I had a more in-depth conversation with Kurt in person than I have with your or Blaine in months.

Then let me take you for dinner? Please? My treat.

Dinner? You want to take me to dinner? Why?

Because when we did coffee, I didn't do a very good job of listening... And I know you're leaving and I won't try to hold you back, but I'd like to at least feel like we're parting ways on good terms, and as friends.

Oh. ~~Is that all?~~ Okay.