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OMG I LOVE WEDDINGS!

Me, too! Especially when it's my wedding and she's gonna be my wife, dude!

I swear I was going to nearly wet myself ALL DAY the day before mine! The best feeling ever! And wedding cake? Is awesome!

Dude, Quinn had Kurt and Tana help her pick out the cake. I hope it's not some crazy pregnant lady cake that San came up with. LOL. DUDE, I'M GETTING MARRIED!! I'M MARRYING QUINN!

No way, Kurt has the BEST wedding taste ever! I wasn't allowed to pick our cake, he banned me LOL. And banned sprinkles, and M&Ms, and frosting. OMG YAY!

This is true. It'll probably be way classy. LOL. He also told me that if the urge took me to grow my 'hawk back out for my wedding day to Quinn, he would personally bitchslap the fuck out of me and make sure I didn't get wedding night sex. Dude, I never in a million years would've thought I'd be getting the chance to marry her, BUT I AM! I'M FREAKING OUT WITH EXCITEMENT DUDE!

Oh, you got the watered-down version. He told me if you did anything to make Quinn's day less than fabulous, certain body parts would have holes in them with rusty things, and there might have been rabid sharks involved too. And he was emphasising pointed with a steak knife, so...

That's because you stopped being a big jerk and turned into a cool dude :P

He also indicated that Star Wars underwear is not acceptable undergarments for a tux. LOL. And that if he hears that they're what I'm wearing, I'll die a thousand deaths. He's a scary ass bitch. Can sharks even get rabies?

Hey, some things in life are worth it... Actually? Most things in life are worth growing up for.

I don't think it mattered, dude... he was emoting with a steak knife. Weddings are SRS BSNS, especially of his fag hags. Even moreso Quinn because she used to say she never wanted to get married.

They really are. It's more fun this way. You grew up into a really great guy.

This is probably true. He'd probably invent a new shark strain of rabies just to feed me to rabid sharks if I made any fabulous fails at my wedding. I'm still LOLing that Santana was the first hag to get married. LOL.

Hey, I definitely had some help along the way. Who knew hobbits had superpowers? :P

I think Kurt has always staked a claim on helping his girls with their weddings. He was just the first up the aisle, so he's the expert now. He's in his element, and you can just see Quinn is loving every minute. Santana just wants people out of her face. I still don't know if Kurt will get her into that bridesmaid dress.

You were just scared I was going to Queer Eye you and shave your mohawk off in your sleep, and wake up with a Bedazzled scalp.

This is very true, dude. And I'm glad, because I know with Kurt, it's going to be a damn fine wedding. And Quinn deserves a beautiful wedding like I know she dreamed of when she was a kid. LOL! I bet so. She shouldn't have gotten knocked up when she did. :P

Okay, maybe just a little. But we'll live. :P But in the meantime, bro... Last night of being a free man (which honestly, I'd rather not be free if it means I get Quinn), what's the plan, oh, Best Man of mine?

Of course it will be. My baby is a fucking boss with all things fabulous. She blames Kurt for that. It's not our fault our little man gives uterus' the warm and fuzzies.

I don't know. I kind of like my balls, and Quinn threatened to cut them off if I got you drunk or maimed, so I have no fun options left. She even made me sign a contract... that looked distinctly like the one you had to sign for Kurt when we got married.

Damn right. We're so lucky we have him at the helm keeping up with everything that I never would've thought about. I would've just been like, "Yay! AWESOME wedding, I get to marry her, yaaaaaaaaaaay!" And we'd get there and everything would be wrong and Quinn would be all sad and a good time would not be had by all. LOL. Yeah, well... Your little man came from Kurt's sperm, and San's carrying Sebastian spawn... She should've known this baby wouldn't be as nice. LOL

Are you serious? Dude... :( I wanted to get drunk. Guitar Hero night? LOL

Dude, your wedding is what you make it. Sure, Kurt wraps it up in a very lovely and very fashionable package with couture silk ribbon, but at the end of the day, that's just all the bells and whistles. It's the people, the company, and the making everything official that makes it. I still remember every single minute of my wedding day. That and JJ's birth were the best days of my life.

I might need to read the contract again to see if Guitar Hero is even still allowed. I could have sworn we were isolated to knitting and watching Oprah.

That's very true. But Quinn deserves a gorgeous wedding. Hell, she agreed to put up with me for the rest of our lives. That alone deserves some kind of reward. LOL. Oh, man. I remember you when JJ was born! LOL

I could sprain my fingers! OH NO! LOL. Oprah and knitting? That's one hell of a manly bachelor party.

All brides deserve a gorgeous wedding, dude! They're only supposed to have their big day once and it really is the most amazing day ever. The feelings are just freaking awesome. And then the wedding night... oh man, the wedding night :D But yeah, it's a whole different set of feels when your first baby arrives. It's unbelievable.

I could just risk certain death for a proper bachelor party... and, like, no sex again for ever.

That's the damn truth. I can't wait for the wedding night, dude! LOL! Whatever happens, I'm going to love being married to her.

...would you do that?

Well, there is a huge problem right off the bat if you're NOT going to love it :P

I don't know... I really, really, really love sex.

LOL! Definitely. I think that's a bad start there.

Pouting.

Bad finish too, probably. Kurt's deleted divorce from our repertoire. We're not allowed to ever do it or we have to take ourselves out, all Romeo and Juliet style.

You big baby.

For JJ's sake, and mine, I'm gonna need that to never happen. Just saying.

I just wanna booze up at my bachelor party. :(

Of course the game changes now we're daddies. Neither of us is going to miss out on JJ growing up. I need to make sure he knows how to use condoms when he realises how fun his dick is.

Maybe you should get written approval from your fiancée for this one exception? Then we'll all get a reprieve.

That's important. But dude, seriously don't want to think about the little guy being a grown up. That's scary!

Maybe... I might just have to give that a go...

Oh god, me either. He's still a baby! No growing up yet, I'm not done with him being my baby. Plus, if he's straight, I'm going to need a LOT of advice.

You might want to get written approval from Kurt too.

He's going to be your baby for a while yet, and we're gonna all hold onto that as long as we can. He's like... the communal baby. LOL. Then Santana and Nome are gonna have theirs, and there will be more to share. LOL

With signatures and witnesses.

I just still can't believe I have a son. It's the best thing ever. You wait until you do it, it's a feeling that nothing else even comes close to. Plus, the Hummel genes, you can't beat those :D Dude, you get to be a for-real uncle! How awesome is that?!

Signed in blood and branded on a cow for posterity.

He's the coolest kid, too, man. I love having him around. It's gonna be a while on that one. I'm pretty sure the other half and I are gonna be rocking the fabulously childless married life for a little while. :P I know! I can't believe it! It's going to be the best fuckin' thing ever!

LMFAO! A cow? Really, dude? That's intense.

He's going to be the best ringbearer EVER. You'll have to just suck it up, dude, because my beautiful offspring is going to pull focus from your own wedding like a boss. This is what you get putting Hummel-Andersons in your wedding party ;) All assuming he walks up the aisle and doesn't want to ride on Aunty Quinn's lap like he usually does.

Cows are awesome. Everyone wants a cow really deep down.

He really is! But even with all his epic cuteness, I'm pretty sure I'll only have eyes for the bride. Hey, I think riding on Aunty Quinn's lap would add some originality to our wedding. :P

LOL. At least they're kosher.

Edited 2012-12-18 18:35 (UTC)

You're a big giant meanie, Uncle Puck. Hopefully he doesn't eat all the candy and throw up all over you again. There is nothing wrong with a bit of originality. I mean, my bride did the Single Ladies dance right before he walked up the aisle, so...

You can't eat the cow! Then you would have no pact!

That kid definitely inherited his dad's sweet tooth... But I am... Hugest meanie ever. I should be ashamed of myself. I really should. But yes... Kurt made sure everybody knew that you liked it, so you were putting a ring on it.

LMFAO! Dude, that's why you shouldn't write your contract on something edible.

We don't feed him that much bad stuff. Just for special things and he has a low tolerance to it. He saves it for when you're sitting him. Hell yeah! I'll put a ring on anything he wants me to :D

Yeah, but the cow is still alive. Who eats live cow?

I know. You guys are good daddies... He just really likes it when he gets to try it. LOL. I love that kid, though. He's Uncle Puck's favorite little boy in the world. LOL! I bet you will, dude.

Nobody, but they gotta die sometime, right?

Hey, we're awesome daddies! I love being a daddy! I wouldn't swap it for the world. He'll try anything based on sugar, just the more sugar the better. He gets that off me. Kurt loves his junk food, but not so much on the candy. Cheesecake, on the other hand. You do not get in between that man and a cheesecake. Uncle AND godfather. My baby boy wins all the awards.

I don't want to just eat any old dead cow, though.