sixwordstories | (no subject)

...Are they poisoned?

Well, there IS salt in them..and moisture...so your arms might rust. I'm just sayin'.

...Are you implying I'm going to smear them all over the actuators?

Well, why wouldn't you?

I don't like to be wasteful. [An actuator claw plucks delicately at a cupcake to deliver to his flesh-and-blood hands.]

Cupcakes are for fun and tasty pleasure!!! I wouldn't judge if you had some kinda weird sexual robotic arms cupcake fetish thing. Whatever gets your rocks off, man. I have personally only tried rubbing a cupcake on my crotch six times, and it wasn't so much for me, but to each their own!

[How anyone could possibly doubt Doc Ock knows what to do with a cupcake is beyond him, but at least this is a break from the fat jokes?]

Not these cupcakes, though? [He assumes they'd be crumbling apart if that were the case. He still pauses with it halfway to his mouth, in case the answer is yes.]

Well, not all of these cupcakes?

[And just like that, the cupcake is dropped on the floor.

*Splot.*]

I'll pass. I don't like venereal disease-flavor frosting.

I'd have to get all kinds of sex to have venereal disease!

Ah.

There's a mental image I did not need.

Right back atcha, tentacle porn!

...

Somebody needs to take your internet access away.

Once it's on the internet, NOBODY FORGETS.

I'd certainly like to.

Hey man, it's all good. You'll be forgotten soon! Spidey's already been rebooted, and there are hints at a new Doc Ock in the new series. You will be the out with the old, free to tentacle porn to your heart's content!

... What?

Never mind. I suspect whatever you're prattling on about isn't worth knowing. And I don't read porn.

[Thank goodness he's never seen the other versions of himself, either. Ultimate would make him jealous and the standard version would make him swear off cupcakes forever.]

Of course not! You watch it.

[Don't tempt DP to pull out photos! He'll do it!]

I don't!

[Does Wade really want a broken-brained Otto on his hands? Although explaining the Superior Spiderman arc would definitely do it.]

Yes you do! Stop lying, you lying liar.

[Ooooh...now THAT would be fun!]

... I'm not putting up with this for a cupcake I don't even want.

[He turns away, actuators rustling and writhing around him. One lifts a three-pronged talon, and folds two talons behind the third, bottom one, leaving it jutting up in a gesture at Deadpool. ;D ]

It's okay! All guys watch porn and masturbate! I bet you even have tried using your tentacles to jack it! [he waves at the tentacle!] I mean, I know I would if I had tentacles...I'd have a nice attachment for one of them so I wasn't stabbing myself with metal though. Do you have a Fleshlight attachment? I bet you do. I mean, it's not like you get any more dates than I do!

...Did I put Viagra in these? [May have dumped enough Viagra into the cupcake batter to be absorbed by tactile contact, because science works like that. Or because it's fun to imagine Doc Ock with an erection lasting longer than four hours. Wait. That wouldn't be fun to imagine at all. But hilarious to contemplate?]

[The broad shoulders straighten. Deadpool probably doesn't need to see Doc Ock's face to know there's an eyetwitch. You'd think after years of Spiderman's taunting he'd have learned not to let it get to him, but he never really has, and Deadpool is a whole new level of aggravation.

It's probably for the best he didn't eat the cupcake. Sugar and fat, and obviously he doesn't have his blood pressure under good control as it is. The actuators lash out even before the man himself executes an about-face turn, but of course his aim is never improved by him losing his temper.]

[Teleportation is even better than Spidey Sense for a quick dodge!]

Soooo...if you've got a nice little tent pole going on there now, that means you technically have nine appendages. Does that void your Super Villain name?

[Cheaters, both of them. The actuators are a lot faster than the man they're attached to, but it's still too slow by comparison.]

You're as bad as that damn bug, prattling on. [Another actuator lashes out at him, with its sibling making a sweeping blow across the space before him just after in the hopes he'll catch him on the landing.]

Account name:	Log in with OpenID?
Password:	Forget your password?
	Remember me