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Current Location: Totally not an FBI office
Current Music: OTA

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roleplay

(no subject)

[Answers phone] Slater, FBI, who's this?

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Lois Lane, Daily Planet. I'm calling to confirm the identities of two of your agents?

This is the county morgue. You stab 'em! We slab 'em!

Oh great, what kind of trouble are they in now? [a huff of a laugh] well, that's if they're mine. Who've you got?

[dryly] ha flippin' ha.

No trouble, sir, so long as you know them. Agents Tyler and Perry?

[Another rough laugh] Yeah, they're mine, both good agents, little unconventional, sometimes, but we can't all do things by the book, can we?

What, you don't believe me?

Trust me, if somebody knows how to go off-book, it's me. Just tell me Aerosmith's one of the reasons you put them together and you'll officially be the coolest fed I've had the pleasure of dealing with.

Bobby. It's me.

Not even a little.

[there was that laugh again, that singular rough bark] 'course it is, just don't tell them that.

What do you need? [that was Bobby, right to business]

I'm your biggest fan, Mr. Slater. Thanks for your help.

Not a problem Ms. Lane.

Hello, FBI? There are goblins in my basement. Help.

[Who is he t' stop the 'right to business' theme?] We've ...got a problem out here. [Pause...] Ya got a minute?

There's what... who gave you this number?

[well that was new, Bobby arches a brow]

Yeah, I got time.

It's on the fridge with the list of emergency numbers!

[And little does she know that she dialed the wrong number in the first place. 8I]

Okay, so prank phone calls aren't my forte. I lend more toward more elaborate tricks...

Good. [He gives it another pause.] We're ...uh.. We're gonna need an alternate way to gank that spirit. Sammy dropped the remains at the bottom of a friggin lake.

...Long story.

Goblins, right? What do they look like? Where are you?

[What, she sounded terrified, and he'd kick himself if something happened that he could prevent]

... bottom of a lake.

[A heavy, world-weary sigh, it's a good bet he's kneading at his brow]

It's going to be messy. Best bet is to get the damn thing to manifest. Trap it, and smash the trap while it's still inside.

I'm in my house!

You don't know what goblins look like? Little ugly bald things with sharp pointy teeth?

[... definitely goblins then. He sighed] Going to need an address, and are you on the first floor? Second floor? Where are they?

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