Well, this is mortifying. She'd been hoping to at least keep it together until she was alone, but no, by all means, let's just have a breakdown on a goddamn hilltop. At least it's not the marketplace, though at the moment, that's not much of a consolation.
She keeps her back to him as she scrubs her cheeks with one hand; the other, she flaps dismissively. It's not his fault any of this is happening. Okay, so he kind of triggered it, but it's not like he knew she had brothers, and he's also not responsible for bringing her here in the first place, so his overall culpability here is pretty carthaginian low.
She knows her voice isn't going to cooperate, but she manages a terse, "Not your fault." And now she sounds angry, which isn't helpful. She's a mean weeper the way some people are mean drunks, but the last person who deserves that right now is Felix. Ugh. She still can't bring herself to face him, but she tries to elaborate. "I have… brothers." Not just brothers, but a whole extended coffeehouse family who are going to think she's really, definitely dead this time, and a vampire who might search the whole county and nowheresville besides without finding her, and damn it she is supposed to not be thinking about this. She bites down hard on her lower lip and leans her forehead against one hand, determined not to start sobbing in earnest.
"Oh." Felix's frown deepens. He has the sense to understand that she's not angry with him; that the magnitude of the situation is probably just catching up to her. On the other hand, that forces him to contemplate just what the situation really is, from her perspective. It's a sobering thought. Set aside his general excitement, and he should really give her credit for not breaking down into hysterics.
He takes a step forward, ready to try and offer a comforting hand, but her turned-away posture makes him hesitate. It would be easier for him, maybe. He's had family members coming and going all his life, off on campaign or patrol or disappearing off to other haunts. He grew up understanding that forewarning was a valuable luxury, that complications happened, the possibility that people wouldn't come back; he'd learned to be laid back about gaps between visits or letters or, in his father's case, hearing anything at all. Mara knows he hasn't even talked to his brother in months.
But for someone who doesn't travel, for someone with all the wild danger to fear and no reason to go dashing off into it...
"They'll be worried about you soon," he ventures, not because it isn't obvious. Because it is, and he wants to show he gets it. "Do... er, do you have other family?"
He probably shouldn't rule out hysterics just yet. She's earned a good meltdown, as far as she's concerned... but that doesn't mean Felix should have to witness it.
Not that his well-intentioned questions are making it any easier for her to keep it together, and she has to take a few deep, steadying breaths before she can even attempt to answer him. "Mom, stepdad…" she manages a quarter-turn in Felix's direction. "I mean, the whole coffeehouse is basically a big family. All our regulars…" and that's leaving out Yolande, leaving out Con, leaving out Mel, leaving out the other time she disappeared without a trace and how much that messed up all the people who cared about her.
Maybe that precedent is a good thing. Maybe they'll think, well, she came back the last time it happened. But last time she was only gone for a few days, and last time she had been kidnapped by goddamn vampires. No one's going to be reassured by the thought that it's happened again, especially when she seemingly fails to escape inside a week.
And now he lifts a hand to touch her shoulder, offering comfort if she's not averse to it. "We'll get you back to them. With a little help." He glances at the familiar curiously watching around his knees. "Even beings like Meridia can be bargained with. And that's the main thing, isn't it? Getting home safely."
She's not about to shake him off. Hell, she'd probably take a hug, but she doesn't expect him to offer, and it's probably just as well. She's already behaving far too damsel-y for her own liking, sniffling over the unfairness of it all instead of buckling down and focusing on getting herself out of this mess. And, okay, at least she's more upset at the thought of what her family is going through than what she's going through (because what are the odds of this being some Narnia-esque deal where she arrives home at the exact same moment she left it?), but even that feels like a kind of cowardice. It's easier to face the reality of her extended family's worry than it is to face her actual reality. Their ordeal is upsetting; hers, if she lets herself think about it too hard, would probably be paralyzing.
"Yes," she says, trying for a smile and not quite making it. "That's…" she takes a deep breath, holds it for a moment, then releases it. "Yes," she says again, feeling a bit steadier, if no less embarrassed. "Thank you."
Another realm, another culture. It doesn't seem proper to throw an arm around her shoulders, at least not until they've been through a scrape or two together. And he can sense her embarrassment. Put it on top of his earlier impressions and find a woman who doesn't like owing debts and doesn't care to lean on others. Not near-strangers anyway. What he can do, he's sure, is smile for her and try to make the road ahead a little less daunting. When your boat overturns, don't get bogged down in the mud.
"It's nothing," he replies. With half a thought he sends the familiar off to circle the hilltop; uncomprehending though it is, the curious presence feels like overcrowding the moment. Let it sniff the flowers and feel the wind while it's here. Felix stays where he is, tilts his head a little as he goes on, "Feels kind of like the gods have abandoned you, the first time you get lost on your own. Not that I think it's going to happen again, of course."
It's a guess: she hasn't been lost like this before, of course, but he doubts she travels far anyway. And considering those speedy coach things they have, how much chance would she have to get lost, or sidetracked, or stranded halfway? (Oh, the Empire would love to see those plans. Let the Stormcloaks try catching their couriers then!)
"You're handling it very well, for what it's worth," he adds helpfully.
Sunshine lets out something like a laugh, though there isn't that much humor in it. "The gods in my universe are pretty hands-off," she says as she pulls her sleeves back down and dries her face (for the last time today, damn it).
And hey, she'll gladly take that so-called abandonment over meddling. Maybe none of her universe's gods would stoop to getting her out of trouble, but she doesn't want to be singled out for special treatment if it means having them get her into trouble in the first place.
She's not entirely sure she believes him. She doesn't feel like she's handling it well, she feels like she's skirting the edge of Making An Embarrassing Botch Of It All and About To Make An Embarrassing Botch Of It All. Particularly in comparison to Felix, who is obviously far more experienced at this sort of thing (and probably sees his family a hell of a lot less often than she does, for that matter; gods, now she really needs to get it together and quit moping).
But it's the thought that counts, right? "Thanks," she says, and this time she does manage a smile, though it's a bit sardonic.
"Well on he bright side, there's at least one here who ought to be looking out for you." His smile's wry, acknowledging the irony. But surely Meridia wouldn't go to this trouble just to let her chosen mortal get killed or lost. Benevolence is a hard thing to judge with such beings, but Felix will trust their self-interest.
"Seriously, I'm sure you're going to be fine," he adds, because she doesn't seem entirely convinced. Not that he can be absolutely certain - but she needs to believe it more than he does. There has to be some way of solving the problem. If she can be sent one way, it must be possible to go the other. Her remark about her gods has prompted another practical question, though. "Though, when you say your gods are 'hands-off'... do you know if they, er, resist outside intrusions?"
At least one? The thought of multiple pseudo-deities taking an interest in her is not what she would call a bright side - not unless she was certain that said pseudo-deities' grand plans for her included putting her back just the way they found her, and she hardly dares to hope for that much. Last time she suddenly found herself kidnapped away from the life she knew, it had been intended as a one-way trip. Not that she's going to compare daedra to vampires (at least not aloud), because she is fairly certain it would be offensive to all parties involved, but the point remains: she has a hard time trusting the good will of whoever (or whatever) brought her here.
The question about her gods earns him a shrug. Obviously none of them saw fit to intervene when she got yanked between universes. "I don't think they're going to come storming in after me, if that's what you're worried about," she says with a dubious little frown. Too bad, really, because that would be one hell of a sight. But when she says they're hands-off, that's just a polite way of saying they might as well not exist without actually denying their existence.
"That is very important to know," Felix remarks wryly. It would be nice to think of gods coming after their stolen followers personally, except he doesn't think he'd want to be standing too close to said abductee at the time. And after that little Dagon-trying-to-invade-the-world incident a couple of centuries back, his gods probably have Views on outsiders butting in, old enemies or not. Many of the mortals certainly do.
"But it could mean it won't be too hard to send you back, as well. After all, our gods are the reason there's a barrier in the first place. Without that, even a mere mortal like myself can move bigger things than familiars." He gestures behind himself at the wandering phantom, wearing what will hopefully be a reassuring expression. The less effort it costs to send her home, the easier it should be to bargain for. Assuming Meridia doesn't just tell them what the deal is going to be.
Felix pauses for a moment, gauging how much composure she's recovered before he offers, "I can even show you a proper daedra, if you like."
… Huh. She'd always thought of the barrier between the real world (for lack of a better term) and nowheresville as naturally occurring, not something put in place by some kind of heavenly mandate. She still prefers to think of it that way, because it's a really carthaginian important barrier, and better to have it boil down to physical laws than have it only exist at the whims of absent deities.
But she's not playing by her universe's rules, anymore, and it sounds like, barrier mechanics aside, his deities are a lot more active than hers are. Maybe even more than they were, back when they actually bothered to do things.
She only has to consider his offer for a moment before she nods. "Yeah. I want to know what I'm dealing with, here." Or a flavor of what she's dealing with, anyway.
He's reassured by her determination, and immediately backs up a step, the light in his hand blinking out for a second as he switches his focus.
"All right," he says, turning to face the open space behind him. He bids the familiar a silent goodbye as he dismisses the link; it looks up and whines its disappointment before disappearing into sparks. Felix doesn't miss a beat in his explanation. " Then I'm going to call up a flame atronach - that's one of the elemental daedra. This should be a little more showy. But perfectly safe, of course."
He's already reaching for the kind of mind he wants: burning with intensity, a fierce and shifting awareness. In a moment the way is open again: just as before, the sphere of energy spins open, but palpably stronger despite being about the same size. The familiar was a little thing shaped to fit the world around it. This is more strongly alien, something willful enough to bend the world back, just a little.
There's a shimmer and rush of flames as the atronach takes shape. It's a slender being, made entirely of flames save for a few jagged, armour-like plates and bands that outline its feminine form and curling horns. Its feet are painfully delicate, and they don't touch the ground; the first thing it does is twirl mid-air as if to stretch itself. Then it settles to face them, its face an inscrutable mask of flame and sculpted mouth. Felix gives it a small bow.
Ack, sorry for the delay! Big Applesauce got busy and then I was out of town, but I'm back!
The familiar's pre-vanishing whine is a little bit alarming, but Sunshine's willing to give Felix the benefit of the doubt and assume it wasn't a sound of pain or anything upsetting like that. Maybe she should find it encouraging that the familiar didn't begrudge its own summoning so much that it was happy to go back home, except now she's sort of wondering what it's going home to, if moseying around a hilltop was a comparative treat.
She doesn't have much time to consider the departed familiar, though, before the real daedra makes its - her? - appearance, and then she takes a healthy step back. Yeeek. She wasn't really sure what she was expecting, but it wasn't… that. This is full-blooded demon territory. There are some kinds of demon - not as many as you might expect, but some - that only really come in full-blooded form because there is just no way for their genes to enter the human population in the first place (even presuming an unending supply of creativity and/or booze for all parties), and elemental types tend to top that list… which means you generally aren't used to seeing even diluted, ten-generations-removed versions of them around, let along the real deal.
So, she was not prepared for this. When Felix bows, she wonders, a little hysterically, if she should curtsy or something. Then she remembers that something like this is responsible for uprooting her, and she thinks: to hell with curtsying. Instead, she offers the creature a stiff nod of acknowledgement and hopes that'll be enough.
Never easy to read a creature whose very face is an affectation. The atronach seems unmoved, but Felix has the sense that the courtesy helps ease its presence here. Still, he can feel its desire alongside his mind, the will to act and move… and fight. Its eyeless gaze seems to settle on Sunshine. Fear is one concept that translates across the realms.
Felix looks back to catch her reaction, and gives a reassuring nod. “It’s friendly. At least, as friendly as atronachs usually get. You see?” He waves a hand close to the burning form by way of demonstration: he can feel the wash of heat, but there’s no sting in it. "I summon them all the time when I need a little fire on my side."
Okay. Perfectly safe. 'Friendly,' even, though she's not entirely sure she believes that one. It doesn't look friendly. Granted, it doesn't really look anything, emotion-wise; its face (to the extent that it has one) is pretty inscrutable. Sunshine frowns a little, but she doesn't step away.
She doesn't step closer, either. Even if it's a comparatively nice fire demon, it's still made of fire. "How, um… smart… is it?" she asks, wondering just how much control Felix has, here - or to what extent he'd have to override the creature's own will to keep it so well behaved.
That seems to catch the being's attention, eliciting a little flurry of noise: the snap of a spark, the rustle and flutter of flames within. Felix keeps an eye on it. That feels like it was laughter. Or surprise.
"They're at least as clever as we are. The elementals, anyway; some daedra are more like beasts. And of course they're much older. They're just not... much for conversation with us mortals. Their minds work differently. You can compromise with them - it definitely helps if you do. But there's a limit to what you can understand." He considers the atronach. Maybe he could try talking to it now... "For you and them both."
Well, that got a reaction. She's not entirely sure why - or what kind of mood that weird little noise was supposed to indicate - until Felix explains… and then she can make a somewhat educated guess. Great. Way to antagonize the clever fire demon thing, Sunshine.
"Um… no offense," she says to the atronach, eyeing it uneasily. Can it understand that? Hopefully it's a concept that translates across, um, species.
"My friend's people aren't acquainted with the Oblivion planes," Felix adds, helpfully trying to convey a sense of curiosity over the link. How does one convey 'youth' to a daedra? More accurately, how does one distinguish it from 'human'?
The atronach replies with something like laughter, edged with a crackle and ending with a hiss. Felix studies it behind a smile.
"I think you're all right," he says to Sunshine. "I get the impression most of our questions sound foolish to them." A flutter of flame from the atronach might mark agreement. "While we're at it, though, we may as well ask about Meridia."
That's… well, okay, that's probably fair enough. Sunshine might have some experience moving through non-standard planes of existence, but her 'people' sure as hell don't. And even her own experience probably doesn't count for much, because she doesn't recall bumping into any elemental demons on those extra-dimensional jaunts. Just vampires. Which had been more than enough, at the time.
"Oh." And here she is, without a prepared statement. Well, she has a few ideas as to what she'd like to say to Meridia herself, but nothing for a… what, lackey? Acquaintance? She really doesn't know what she's dealing with, here. "Um. Does it--" wait, should she be directing this to the fire demon thing? Probably. "Do you, uh… know her?"
The burning gaze is trained on her as the daedra responds. Its voice is difficult to read, as if the human ear can't quite get a grasp on it. Despite that, the words are distinct enough; it might even sound slightly feminine, although whether that's a genuine trait or just human interpretation is something Felix doesn't know himself.
"Prince of the Colored Rooms," it says, and Felix can feel a flare of disdain. He frowns sharply, eyes distant as he tries to parse the flutter of accompanying images. The mental link is limited; he doubts he'd get this much if he didn't have a lot of practice binding atronachs. "Lord of growth without harvest. We do not serve her."
"But do you know how we can summon her?" Felix prompts.
Yeeeeek. Okay, this is really kali goddamn weird. Not vampire laughter weird, but close. Sunshine has to resist the urge to throw up a hand as if to block a sudden flare of light, though the daedra hasn't moved or changed its heat output or done anything else to deserve that kind of reaction except for talk. Which is what they want, right?
And once its - her? - words sink in, she thinks: okay. Not a lackey. Not even on friendly terms with Meridia, from the sound of it. A little tension leave her shoulders, and while she's not exactly at ease, she feels… well, less like she's dealing with the Goddess of Pain and more like she's dealing with Pat or Jesse or Theo. Like yeah, she still has to watch herself because they're SOF, but at least they hate the boss as much as she does.
"I don't want to serve her, either," Sunshine offers, in case that scores any points in their collective favor. "That's why we want to talk to her."
Yes, Sunshine thinks, I do. Well, sort of. She doesn't feel bound so much as mightily inconvenienced. It's not as if she's been given specific orders to rebel against (though Felix's talk of bargains has her suspecting there will be orders in her future, and yeah, she's probably not going to accept those with much in the way of grace or good humor). But generally speaking, yeah, she's not thrilled about any of this.
That said, she's sensible enough to follow Felix's lead and keep her less flattering feelings to herself. "Gleaming ones?" she repeats, glancing between him and the atronach, hoping one of them will care to elaborate.
The conjurer's eyes are a little unfocused, but he hears her. He shakes his head by way of answer and helps press her question. "Who are they?"
The daedra's flames hiss, something mocking in the gaze it turns on him. He can feel a recalcitrant tug on his mind, so he adds a promise with accompanying mental images. "Tell us, and I'll make sure you get the battle you desire next time."
As he hoped, it doesn't really need much coaxing. "Meridia's warriors. The clan of golden armour." It seems to be fumbling for a mortal name, and Felix's eyes widen as he get a double dose of mental impressions. "Aurorans."
Felix's reaction isn't exactly encouraging, given her current dependence on his expertise. She doesn't like the thought of him being taken off guard. That's her department.
Then again, if this demon-thing is saying what she thinks it's saying - namely, that they're going to have to go through Meridia's goddamn army just to figure out how to talk to her (and how helpful are her warriors going to be if they find out Sunshine's not as gung-ho about serving her as they are?) - then there really isn't much Felix could say or do to make that an enticing prospect. She's pretty sure it's a bad plan.
Her expression says as much, but just in case Felix can't see it with the whole thousand-yard-stare thing he has going on, she goes ahead and states it for the record. "That doesn't sound good."
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