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What's the difference between a normal hag and a fag hag?

Thought the correct term was faghag.

Is that what I am?

Define? Is that like a fag hag, but for lesbians? Or you being a lesbian is a gag hag?

A normal hag is hideous and old, and a fag hag is fucking fabulous, because her fag won't keep her if she's not.

Seriously, Finn, you have a gay brother. You should know these things.

Maybe that's why nobody pays you to think?

Oi! I might not be clever but I'm not daft.

That's true. So, that means Kurt's a pretty good fag to all your hags right, or he wouldn't keep you? I don't have any chicks who want to just hang out with me so much.

Yeah, but there isn't a single thing Kurt does that I ever get because he's always giving me that death eyeball.

Actually, I was more talking about the fact that I'm a lesbian and your hag, but... You could be my lesbian hag...

In fact, I kinda like that. Why should our friendship be identified as ME being your hag? You're just as much a hag as me.

Oh, ew... All that Me, me, me for a minute, I thought I was channeling Berry.

It's the whole me being a lesbian and Kurt's hag...

What the hell is my life? When did I become a fag hag?

Kurt is the almighty fag... Like, seriously, he's the queen bitch, and coming from me, that's saying a lot. Well, Finn, that's because girls who hang out with Kurt know he won't be staring at their tits when they do.

It's really not your fault, though... It has to be hard for the oxygen to travel far enough to get to your brain. :P

Is that what your mommy tells you when the other kids make fun of you?

But seriously... I am a lesbian... and a fag hag... So lesbian hag... Not that hard to figure out.

But I'm fabulous, I want a better name than that. Queen Hagulous. Please don't channel Berry. Ever. I've had enough of that for one year.

My mom abandoned me when I was very, very young. She has never supported me. [Glare]

Oh how good for you then. Why don't we do throw a little Pride party then? [Sarcasm]

Queen Hagulous? That sounds like Count Chocula's wife or something. But I guess it's acceptable. Or! I could call you my fab hag. Um, yeah, I've had enough of that for one lifetime... Maybe two, so I'm down with never channeling her ever.

So, you stopped picking on him and abusing everything cute thing he does with Blaine? I'm proud of you, San! He might stop practising his finest bitchpls looks on you now.

That's what I want to know, but once you take the plunge, there is no going back.

Shit... That's... I didn't know. I'm sorry. I'm kind of a bitch. It's what I do.

Do you have a problem with gay people or something?

Yeah maybe you should think before you speak. Muppet.

[Snickers] Hardly. I'm gay.

Of course I didn't! I just do it with love now, that's all. :P And he still bitchpls-es me with the best of them.

It's ridiculous... What is it about gay men that gives them that strange power? Resistance is futile and all that.

No, it does not! It's fabulous. Admit it. I should get another crown and everything. I want a whole crown collection. Bitches should never have started with giving me one. Fab hag? It sounds like a washing detergent. Get whiter whites with FAB HAG! You and me need a duet. Have we ever had one?

Muppet? Seriously? Is that the best insult you have? I think I got past calling people Muppets in kindergarten, and even then, I used the names of different Muppets instead of just the general term, because you have to specify which Muppet someone reminds you of... Like my fag's ex-hag... He's not calling her that yet, but she totally is... She's Miss Piggy because she's a self-absorbed little bitch.

You're gay? Then what are you being so pissy over fag hags for?

I thought you hated him? What changed? Yeah, but you will be LOL.

How do you all keep up with gigantor jokes for me and short jokes for Blaine?

I don't care about any muppets. [Shrugs] I'm just calling you that because you're being stupid.

Because you made me pissy. Simple as that. You can be a fag hag if that makes you happy. [Sarcasm again? Maybe...]

Okay, fine Queen Hagulous. You should get a collection of crowns... We should have like... crown jewels of the Queen Fag and Queen Dyke of McKinley. Come to think of it, I don't think we have... But whatever we sing? It has to be epically bitch-tacular.

You saw the error of your ways and crossed over the fabulous Dark Side? And there you were thinking you were already on it.

They have no fucks to give. It's a good attitude to have. Kurt's a sweetheart, thought. He's not just a bitch, he's a bitch with a big heart if he likes you. If he doesn't, you'll know it.