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Lesbians are hot.

[Isn't that the most intelligent sentence ever?]

I should have a crown for every outfit. Not even the real Queen has that. Crown jewels as opposed to family jewels? We could always do The Bitch is Back by Elton John. Fitting.

I never hated him... We just came to a bit of an understanding... And if there were any questions about it, they were laid to rest when Sebastian tried to get all up in Blaine's booty business. Okay, yeah, you have a point... Especially if they're nice tits.

It's a very difficult process... I trained with a ninja insult master in China. :P

And your insults are stupid. Are you always a whiny bitch, or only sometimes?

I know I can. I can be whatever I want if it makes me happy, and I'm going to. So... Any other questions?

You should. Make all the bitches jealous. Well... I was under the impression that you weren't big on everyone SEEING your family jewels, so...

It really is kind of perfect. Let's do it.

Like I could let one third of my Unholy Trinity join the ranks of the fabulous and haggy without me. :P

Not gonna lie, I wouldn't like him if he couldn't hold his own in the bitch department.

Oh, wow, really? Because I've never heard a straight guy say that before!

Oh, wait.

I'm not a whiny bitch. I never whines to anyone about anything. You're a moron.

Have fun. No, I don't have any questions, never had.

I aim to surprise and please. [Grins]

I'm not sharing, though. Unless Blaine tries to steal it off me again for a Knighting ceremony with Puck. They both decided they should be knights with knightly names. He slept alone that night. There are only two people in this world who have seen, and it's staying like that.

We need awesome outfits.

With the Sebastian thing? That dude was a serious piece of work. I wanted to kick his ass for trying to steal Blaine off Kurt. We should, like, tie him and that Chandler dude together and dump them off a bridge. Aren't all tits nice? They all look nice to me. I haven't touched many though.

Mike?

You don't look like a hag.

There was this old lady once all hunched over and stuff. She wanted Lord Tubbington but wouldn't support his fondue habits. She was a hag. I just think she wanted to make him into a stew.

Seriously. I wanted to wipe that smug little smirk off his face... And then rearrange it for him a little. Like... You know, switch his nose with an ear...

No... Mike is too nice to be an insult master... He's a sweetheart... It was an evil insult ninja... I think he trained Coach Sylvester, too.

I didn't pay that much attention in English class when we talked about Shakespeare, but that thing about protesting too much? I got that part.

Good. Bye.

Oh, Jesus... Puck and Blaine with a crown. What did they use for a sword? A lightsaber?

We do... And as much as I love Sir Elton, I'm NOT wearing those crazy ass sunglasses. I say this calls for a shopping trip. ASAP.

Yeah, pretty sure you couldn't come within a million miles of pleasing me, but thanks for playing.

Thanks, babe...

Sweetheart, why would anybody want to make Lord Tubbington into a stew? No offense, but he's mostly fat... Not the best flavor.

I don't know she said he looked good enough to eat.

Britt... I don't think that old lady was going to eat Lord Tubbington... And if she wanted to, she'd be disappointed, because no way would we let her cook him... You and I? We'd protect him. No worries. Like Charlie's Angels.

[Aaron will just roll his eyes at that]

Bye then.

I can watch while you and your girlfriend get it on. [Grins.]

[Meanwhile the Mun is face-palming over here. Johnny...]

Edited 2012-08-05 12:24 (UTC)

Oh, wow! More things I've never heard before in my life!

Seriously? How about you just move along to... whatever else it is creepy pervs do besides annoying lesbians.

[Shrugs]

Alright, alright. I won't disturb you. I'm sure there are other ladies who do appreciate me.

Nope, a water gun. Which, of course, led to hilarity about the words "shooting" and "aiming". Yet, Sir Blainers of the Little People will forever reign supreme.

I don't think you and I have ever been to the mall together. This is going to be epic.

Of course it did... Wow. Those two are so predictable... And unpredictable all at once. Which may be the scariest part of all.

I don't think so, ever. Just to that prom dress shop. Not the actual mall... I don't think they're going to know what to do with us.