sixwordstories | (no subject)

Care to elaborate on that?

Killed two birds with one stone.

Aw, look at the little child preening.

Which birds, what stones? Let Uncle Jonathan know whether to be amused or annoyed, would you?

There were two boys in school who were picking on me, quite independent of one another. One is now suspended, and the other is ill.

...they know it's you but can't prove it?

The boys seem to think I did it, but I was asking Miss Kelsey about our homework assignment and was ten minutes late for lunch. I couldn't possibly have tampered with Bobby's milk.

No, you surely couldn't. I hope whoever did - if indeed anyone did, milk is such a tricky substance - was very careful about the amounts of whatever he or she used.

The doctor seems to think that someone actually put dish detergent in the milk.

Really. Well, that's something, isn't it. It's a good thing that person didn't use anything more subtle. Stupid little boys who drink something with such a definite taste deserve what they get.

Anyone who watched Bobby drink milk would know he doesn't even stop to taste it. According to them, Jeremy did it because Bobby and he were fighting. It makes sense, though. Jeremy wouldn't have anything more subtle.

Well, it sounds like Jeremy's also very stupid. YOU, on the other hand, are quite the clever little thing. How would you like an ice-cream?

Jeremy's especially stupid since he tried to say I did it! I was just coming through the lunch line when Bobby was getting sick.

Can I get caramel sauce on it?

That is stupid. Perhaps we should talk to your mother about this school.

I suppose caramel isn't out of the question.

I don't mind the school. The other kids just bug me. And I don't want to take those placements tests and move up in grades.

Yay! Ice cream!

You *sputter* - whyever not? If you skipped ahead, you could finish sooner, and never have to bother with the other children again.

...if you skip three grades, Uncle Jonathan will get you a pony.

I don't want to be with people bigger than I am. I'll only get teased more.

...We live in the city. A pony isn't practical.

But...you could deal with them in much the same manner. Think of it as a challenge.

How about a sports car? Children love cars, don't they?

I'm "different" enough already. I don't need that added to it all.

Driving age, and I couldn't reach the pedals at my current height. And Daddy's already promised me a pretty car when I turn sixteen. Yes, she stuck her tongue out briefly. She was still only eleven!

(Yay two errors in a row.)

Different is not a bad thing. You're exceptional.

Be reasonable - I'm sure there's something you want! A flying monkey? Er, a fear gun, perhaps? Go on, name it.

Yes, yes, I know. You say that enough.

Anything I want, I can ask Mom or Daddy for, and they won't try to use it as a bribe. Sweet and innocent look.

But I will give you something you specifically aren't going to get.

*pause*
Where on EARTH do you think Harvey's going to get a flying monkey? He doesn't know the first thing about genetic engineering!

...
I don't want a flying monkey.

I kind of want a puppy, but I can't have one.

Skip three grades and I will most certainly get you a puppy. However, I'll say that's a very pedestrian request. If I were to accept a bribe, I'd go for something a little more creative.

And where would the puppy stay, oh wise Uncle Jonathan? I'm waiting for you to spot the flaw in logic of getting me a puppy.

I'm sure I could convince your mother to cope with it. I might have to spend some time doing it, but perhaps YOU should focus on the skipping-the-grades-part.

I'll add that you're not acting like a little girl who wants an ice-cream.