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(no subject)

I made some cookies.

~~And had sex with a human woman.~~

Mmmm. Cookies.

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Those are so cute!

~~Um. What?~~

Can I have one?

I know!

~~What, what? I don't know what you're talking about. I didn't say anything.~~

Yes you may.

[giggles]

~~Oh... alright. [so not buying it, but she'll get him later]~~

[takes one! munches thoughtfully.]

So? What do you think?

They're cute and delicious.

I am a baking master.

Not as good as my friend Zeke... but you are good.

Not as good? Who is this "Zeke"? I could bake circles around him. Pastry circles!

I'm sure he'd be up to the challenge. He plays basketball for the East High Wildcats and is an excellent pastry chef.

Well I don't play any sports. That's how serious I am about cooking.

And also because I attacked the coach that time. I am sadly cursed with too much spirit.

So you've dedicated your life to pastry? A noble pursuit.

Well, whoever said too much spirit never hurt anyone... was apparently wrong. I'll have to warn Ryan.

I'm actually a florist, professionally. The cooking is something I do for me.

A florist? Oh, well, that's nice.

I know. I'm awesome. But I'm taken, sorry.

[snorts] I really wasn't interested, but thanks for the info.

There's no need to get defensive. I just didn't want there to be any hard feelings.

[blandly] Not defensive.

Okay, then there's no need to get rude.

OH-EM-GEE.

Cookies!

Can I have one?

~~Do I get details?~~

Yes. I made enough for everyone.

~~Ha! You wish.~~

SCORE. I want a gelatinous purple tube cookie. I want ten!

You can have one.

I don't know about ten: you know how you get.

...but I want ten.

Start with two.

When I eat for two can I have ten?

Yes, then you can have ten.

HAH!

Why are you HAH-ing me? I'm agreeing with you.

It's a triumphant HAH.

The frosting looks stunning.

I know. I'm a cooking god.

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