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... you have tentacles too? That's all I damn well need!

Tentacles, no. Noodly appendages, YES!

Good. Because one Cthulhu is about all I can handle right now!

He's also an Old One. I, however, am a flying glop of sentient noodles that created all! *noodles lift in something like a grin...if he had a mouth*

Perhaps you'd better watch out in case the Old One decides to eat you!

I - am having some pretty intense experiences with Cthulhu right now. He's sending me dreams, so anything that looks tentacle-ish is drawing my attention right about now!

Hmm, Cthulhu could try to eat me and mayhap will, if he so feels the need, but I am FSM and am eternal! I shall ascend into the Heavens and imbibe from the Holy Beer Volcanoes and be whole once more to descend to the Earth and spread my wisdom among disbelieving man.

*waggles a noodle towards* Well rest assured that these are not tentacles, my son. They are 100% whole grain.

Well, that certainly sounds very cheerful. The world could use such wholesomeness as your 100% whole grain!

Bring forth my Acolytes to perform the sacraments before the Mighty Alter - the stove - and boil the noodles that are of my body to partake of me each day in Holy Reverence. And don't forget the beer. Gotta have the beer.

Do this, and drink the stout in moderation, and all will be happy and whole!

Well, if I must be a cultist, this sounds like a fun ritual to perform!

I already eat quite a few noodles. Must remember the beer, though!

Ah, but Mine is a religion of its own right and not a cult, brother. *waves a noodle wide*

Then you're well on your way to worshiping properly and enjoying that of which I grant to all: Life.

That all sounds very... uplifting!

Well I've never been one to support all that doom and gloom other Gods seem to thrive on in Their religions. *noodles undulate* I'd rather bring happiness and understanding to my brethren than have them fear Me and my Love.

I like the sound of that!

Though you might. *floats all benevolently*

*smiles* Perhaps bliss is indeed possible through Your way!

I condemn none nor grant that my way is the BE ALL, END ALL, though I will say that My way is a lot more fun.

Second!

*raises noodly appendages high* RAman, brother!

RAman! *high... noodle?*

*new experience...AWESOME - high noodle!*

I heard rumors of strippers and beer volcanoes. Are they here?

They are awaiting those of my faithful within the Heavens. But there are plenty upon this Earth for you to enjoy.

Thanks... Spaghetti Monster.

You're welcome, son of Man.

"I beg your pardon, sir? Most of your relatives are much more...reserved about their private activities. ~~You must be a relative of He Who Presides. Only a New Worlder would be so blunt.~~"

Moriarty still bows a bit, even though he is currently wondering why this member of the Royal Family smells like tomato sauce.

My wealth of Wisdom and Gifts to Man should be shared with all who seek them out. Why hide? ~~I'd be hedging my bets on that one there, son of Man, but you could possibly call me an Off Worlder.~~

"Because, as a person in a position of power, you must at least appear to be virtuous," he replies, wondering why he has to explain.

"Or so Her Majesty would have her subjects believe. Her nephew Franz was recently in Albion "for a change of air," which nearly everyone knew to be a euphemism for interests of a somewhat...baser nature."

I do love beer. And strippers. *grins*

They are quite Holy in My eyes and should be partaken in as often as permissable, and with moderation so that you may partake again!

Ugh, moderation. *he shakes his head* That's one of my least favourite words.

Man is fallible as is all mortal creatures. Moderation keeps them from overindulging and losing themselves to wine, women, and game. *noodles shift and dangle* I doubt you have a problem with forgoing moderation...

But if they loose themselves to wine, women, and game, they become mine, and I always like a good pool from which to restock my servants. *he grins, nodding* Yeah, I'm fairly good to go on that front.

So where are these strippers, my man? *holds up his hands, a beer in each one, and offers one to the flying spaghetti monster* And do you have a nick name, or what should I call you?

Going down the path towards damnation is quite hard and I don't begrudge you the fallen, but I can't say that it's got to be all that much fun marinating for eternity in the boiling marinara sauce of Hell. *makes a shuffling-crumpling sound that's meant as laughter*

They work in the Holy Temples known as Strip-o-Ramas and pass the good word to the desperate and depraved, whispering the good Word into eager ears while collecting their tokens for the cause. *slips a noodle around the glass and hefts it high* I've heard many of my brethren shorten it to three letters: FSM.

Well, it depends on how bad you are. Some people aren't so much in the marinara sauce as they are just existing in the City, doing there thing much as they did up here. Only the truly wicked wind up in the Fire Fields or the Pit.

That? Is awesome. *he clinks his beer against the -- god's* Well, FSM, slainte my friend.

*stares at the Spaghetti Monster for a minute*

Beer Volcanoes?

*it isn't clear if his puzzlement stems from the idea of a "beer volcano" or a being made of spaghetti*

Yes, son of Man! *wriggles noodles happily* They spew forth the frothy brew chilled to perfection and falls heavily into one's mug without spilling a drop!

I came to Man and spake unto them to worship at the alter of My liking and before Me they created such wonders. Beer was the greatest of these.