sixwordstories | (no subject)

I don't know how to feel about this. I'm afraid of scary things, but I like material possessions...

What's scary?

The face!

Face Bones! He's Dethklok's mascot.

But why is he bones!?!?

Because he's totally metal.

...We've talked about this before...

Are you trying to say you're smarter than I am?

Well.

Yes.

...

I'm going to bitchslap you.

If you bitchslap me, I'll kick your ass!

Like you can. Come on, I'll give you a sucker punch and everything.

Kid, I would pull your fire alarm so fast, you wouldn't know what you were smoking.

But I like your money too much to go there.

You're too fucking scrawny to do anything. But I could put my hand on your forehead and it'd be like in one of those cartoons. Haha.

But seriously. I'm going to hit you.

That's what they all think.

I disagree.

Count of three, two, one. *reaches out to grab a fistful of Tommy's hair in hopes of holding him still*

*And Tommy ducks and goes in for a headbutt to the gut.*

*has a good deal of gut, thank you, beer; ow.*

Little punk, you're askin' for it.

*throws a punch!*

*Nothing personal; that's just how Solomons fight. They bite, too.

Tommy takes this punch. His legs get sort of tangled up in themselves, but he doesn't fall. He wipes at the trickle of blood on his lower lip with the back of his hand.*

You are so lucky we're not allowed to vaporize you.

Vaporize?

*rubs at his gut*

You heard me, Junior

No way you're older than me, runt.

That's right. You just keep thinking that.

I'm telling Lily you started shit.

I'm telling her you did.

Because you did.

Pfft.

Hmph.

Yeah. Well.

...

...

I fucked her first.

Yeah, well...I fucked her better.

I had a piece of ass on the side and shoved her over for the next hot thing. Like I care.

Well...she's lucky you did.

That so?

That is so!

And if you talk about my wife like that again...let's just say: I'm pretty sure they can't fire me this time, Monkey-boy.

I dunno how getting ditched by a rockstar is a good thing.

Monkey?

Because she ended up with this guy. Monkey.

...

We get to keep the gift card, right?

I feel bad for her. Your ears are bigger.

Yes.

You have five holes in your head.

Good.

So do you.

I know.

~~It's not my head.~~

Well then.

~~You make no sense.~~

Right.

~~No, I wouldn't.~~

So.

So.

How's the, uh, rock-starring going?

Dethmas album sold well. We're doing some Duncan Hills shit.

Cool. Cool.

How's...

Whatever it is you do?

Fine. Good.

Yeah.

Good.