sixwordstories | (no subject)

Do they like them?

...Not sure! I forgot to ask.

I've got this cat Chester who eats everything, but potato's new. I was just chilling on the couch, minding my own business, and he ran by with a potato in his mouth.

You learn something new every day!

Right? Off all things I expected him to eat, it was not that. I expected, you know steak or sandwiches or something.

A steak sandwich would be very good! You do, however, have an odd thing to tell strangers about your cat.

There you go! Steak and cheese, it's where it's at!

I do. I did! They will all know of Chester's potato love.

I will have to get one now. What else does Chester like? What kind of cat is he?

The potato-eatin' kind. *grins* Kidding. Sort of. He's really huge. Cat weighs about 20 pounds. And he's big and fluffy and black and white.

He sounds nice and spoiled. Do you give him catnip too?

Other kitties? Sure! A 20-pound cat on the equivalent to cocaine? No thanks!

That is a good point!

He's pretty calm all the time anyway. He probably does a kitty equivalent to pot. Hence the fatty.

That means he must be happy too. Now I will have to find out what the kitty equivalent of pot is.

Are there even any other cat drugs besides catnip? Maybe it was just straight up pot brownies or something.

I do not know.

Guess I'll have to experiment.

I'M KIDDING! PETA, DON'T KILL ME!

Did you see PETA? I must hide.

I hope not. I like crazy vegans NOT skinning me alive.

You would think they want people treated ethically too.

Right? They would rather someone eat a dog than keep it as a pet. Where the hell's the kindness in that? Jesus.

None. They are all quite cruel and insane, I believe.

Right? Don't even know what to do with them.

I suggest ignore them, and if they come for you, run.

*giggles a little* Sounds like how you deal with Jahovah's Witnesses.

My dog barks at them, and they usually stay away.

The only good thing cats aren't good at. Their bark isn't too threatening.

Do you tell them your cat is a demon cat?

I told him he eats babies! They didn't buy it!

Did you tell them no thank you?

Nah, way too simple to think of right off.