sixwordstories | (no subject)

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Not in all things though. In this case, it's easy to forget myself, who I want to be.

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Bad thing in the opinion of most, I suspect.

Why envy it? Don't like who you've become?

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We're talking terribly harmful here. Or I'm sure some would think. My ex would be delighted... if she wasn't dead.

Then change.

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Little late for that. Now I'm not sure if I want to go back to how I was. Not seeing a reason to. Right now? I miss her. I hated her until recently, much as I wanted her.

Why not?

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Damned if I know. I've played the game so long I don't remember the players. Always loved her, obsessed with her. She turned on me. I'm sort of remembering why.

You would rather wallow than risk the unknown?

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Ooooh, going on four hundred years, give or take. She took me for a million and used it to destroy others. Bitter doesn't begin to cover how I feel about her.

What do you want to be? Who?

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I stopped her from killing more and addicting people to drugs? Not quite worth a million but... Lesson learned.

You worry to laugh? Why?

I've always thought the other way around.

Not when you're talking about yourself and your humanity.

I guess you're right, if you do things you aren't proud of.

What do you mean, Josef? Is this like a vampire thing?

A lot like that, yeah. Humanity and monstrosity can't always coexist peacefully.

You seem to be doing an okay job of it - keeping a lucrative business up and running, having friends, and a kitten --- all while being a monstrosity with some humanity.

Am I wrong?

It's only been the last couple of weeks. I haven't called clean up this much since the twenties.

Oh - so, a lot of people have died in the process of - whatever you've been doing? That happens, man. Death happens.

This isn't death. It's murder. I know the difference.

Oh, okay. But - were the murder's required? At a certain point there's no turning back from something, you know? Murder's one thing like that.

And if you're wondering, this doesn't make me think of you any differently. Our uh, deal of sorts isn't dissolved or anything.

Few murders are required. Few deaths even. I didn't have to let Lola end how she did. And Kitten's DA could have lived. It's how it goes. I just know it means a change in my thoughts, how I feel. I have others killed for doing what I'm doing.

But I'm forgetting why I didn't want this life, why I've denied it.

Because they can't learn of your existence? Few deaths is better then many, Josef.

Why didn't you want this life, why did you deny it? At least, what can you remember?

These were my own kind. A few lessons taught.

I remember it all. Four hundred years makes it clearer for me. I want to be what I am, I love living forever. I don't want to be the sort of monster my ex wanted me to be, that she was.

I agree. After so many years, everything slurs together. Too many stories to keep track of..

My stories are clear, it's me that's starting to blur.