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Rodney?

[that squirrel has been following Patrick from the house, he swears. It chitters and he squints at the ebil little thing as it scurries past a human-leg-shaped tree. He follows the path of the leg up to Carson's face-] Ryan? [His eyes get comically big for a nanosecond as his voice cracks, and then he squints at the man he thinks is his arch nemesis] What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be off gallavanting around on some ridiculous space adventure?

ooc: I LURVE YOU!

*Carson tilts his head when Rodney calls him 'Ryan'. He isn't too sure how to respond to that.* Ridiculous space adventures? But you liked being in space and... *Trails off and looks at the dog sitting next to Rodney* Since when do you have a dog, and why did you call me Ryan?

[His arms cross in a very typical Rodney-esque pose, but the air of arrogance (and the hole-ridden houndstooth sweater-vest he's wearing under a battered suit coat) isn't quite up to McKay standard] I like my feet planted firmly on the ground, thank you very much.

I have had Mars since I rescued him at the pound four years ago. [matter of factly] And I called you Ryan because your name is Ryan.

*He's getting worried about Rodney's behavior and by the way he's dressed* Rodney. Are you all right? Did something happen? *Slowly takes a step forward*

[Patrick starts to get a little huffy, because this is the man who is stealing his Marilyn--er--sister--away from him. He points at the man with the hand holding Mars' leash] You know very well my name is Patrick, you... you ... you actor. Marilyn told you. And don't you dare use that fake Scottish accent with me, mister. [makes stabby pointy fingers at Carson] You fooled me once, you're not gonna do it again.

[Mars feels the pull of the leash, silently looks up at Patrick, then over to Carson, sighs and walks the few steps forward to greet not!Ryan, tilting his head and seemingly raising his eyebrow, giving a low doggie whine]

*Carson goes into doctor mode, trying to remember if Rodney had been doing any weird experiments. When it becomes obvious Rodney doesn't even remember his own name, Carson frowns and shakes his head* No. Your name is Rodney McKay. And I'm not an actor nor is my accent fake. My name is Carson Beckett and we've known each other for over five years.

*He pauses and looks down at Mars. Without thinking, Carson reaches down and scratches the dog on head. He then looks over at Rodney* Have you hit your head lately?

[The only experimentation Patrick does is which side of the bed he gets out of in the morning, maybe substituting ONE ingredient in any recipe he tries, and occasionally seeing if he likes his Frootees mixed in one bowl. He never does like it]

I'm not this Rodney person. [ooh lookit that vein popping out on his forehead] And the only reason I know you're who you are is because you made me sit through that [sour face] god-awful space-soap TV show you've made. Season two! [shudders]

No, I haven't hit my head. [a slight pause] Recently. [Mars leans happily into Carson's petting, giving Patrick a look like "see, he gives me attention" which Patrick promptly ignores]

ooc: Patrick HAS met

im_with_genius Rodney but we'll ignore thaaaat.... ;)

TV Show? Rodney! If this is your idea of a bloody joke, it's not funny. I've never made a TV show about space. For crying out loud, we lived in space for several years.

*continues to pet Mars* Look, how about we go to the local hospital and get you checked out...

Yes, TV show. [squints at him] Somebody's taking method acting a bit too far. I've never been to space, and and and--neither would I want to, StarCrossed boy.... [snorts] He obviously didn't drink his orange juice this morning, Mars. Attack! [Patrick looks at Mars and points accusingly at Carson. Mars just moans and continues to lean into not!Ryan's petting]

[after Mars doesn't turn into the vicious attack dog of Patrick's dreams, his shoulders slump and he sighs in defeat] I don't wanna go to the hospital, Ryan. There's diseases there. And broken people. [his voice goes up an octave and cracks] I'm not broken. [though he has that kicked-puppy look]

ooc: Good lord when I get home I am rewatching this movie...

I don't know what you're bloody getting at, Rodney, much I've never been on a television show! *He doesn't know why he's fighting with the other man. It's rather obvious there's something seriously wrong with Rodney, especially when he tells his dog to attack*

Rodney! *Rubs his face in frustration before stepping forward to sit next to him on the bench. He figures he might need to use a different tactic* So your name is Patrick? Do you live here?

Yes you do, I saw you, Marilyn does your makeup, and you do--[Wait, hold up, he doesn't want to think about Ryan and Marilyn... having sex. Euggh. with that thought he shudders, then something occurs to him and he straightens up] Waitaminute. this isn't you trying to tell me you're... [makes a really sour face this time] pregnant. No way, [waggles finger] no how are you knocking my sister up, bucko.

[Patrick crosses his arms and huffs, then his head bobbles like he's trying not to roll his eyes while rolling his eyes] You've been to my house, Ryan.

*Carson just stares at him for a moment, not sure what to say. But when Rodney starts talking about him getting his sister pregnant, his mouth drops open.* Why would I want to get your sister pregnant?! She's married. You can't tell me you've forgotten she married Kaleb. You hate him because your sister chose him and starting a family over finishing her degree. And they have a daughter. Her name is Madison and she's about five or six now.

*Rubs his face again, not knowing what else he could possibly do. Suddenly, it hits him - what if this Rodney is from an alternative universe? Carson has read enough SG-1 mission reports to know they exist. That has to be it!*

You're not from this timeline, are you? That's why you don't know what I'm talking about. Of course! I should have bloody seen it. You really aren't the Rodney McKay I know. You're someone different, from a different time.

No, no. No. [shakes his head] Nope. I hate you because you're taking Marilyn away. [from me] She's getting married to you! If my sister was marrying someone else I would know about it. [and then kill them!] And I would know about kids too. [again, euuuchhh]

You're a nut if you think I'm gonna believe the lines you're feeding me! [vein, popping ...again] You're not even pulling this craziness out of your own show, Ryan! [crosses arms, looking at him] That sounds like a plot from Wormhole Xtreme! [mutters, looking down] 's a better show anyway.

Marilyn?! What? No, Rodney! Your sister's name is Jeanie Miller. Not Marilyn, and I most certainly am not marrying her!

*Carson stops and takes a deep breath. He knows getting upset will only upset Rodney...Patrick...whoever in the bloody hell he was. He doesn't know how to respond to being called Ryan...again. However, when Rodney...not!Rodney...mentions Wormhole Xtreme, he perks up a bit*

You watch that, yeah? Did you see the episode with Samantha Carter?

I'm not Rodney, I'm Patrick. My sister's name is Marilyn, and you'd better not be marrying her. [squinty eyes again]

Samantha Carter? [considers, frowning] Isn't she the Colonel with the... [makes wavy hands at his head, indicating curly hair] ...yeah I didn't like her. Too bossy.

*He finally just decides to go along with it. Either Rodney is very sick, or this really isn't him. Carson is betting it's not really Rodney because he knows Rodney and knows he'd be complaining about being outside by now.* I'm not marrying your sister, Patrick.

Where I come from, Sam is a friend of mine and Rodney's. And she really isn't that bad. She's actually quite sweet and brilliant. But I'm beginning to see you aren't Rodney but you do look a lot like him.

Good! [and that's all he has to say on the subject. When he meets Marilyn (and possibly the real Ryan) for lunch later at some point, however...]

I do, huh? [pauses, blinks, suddenly looks verrry interested] And what is it that this Rodney does on your show? [Yeah, in case you couldn't tell, Carson, Patrick isn't very bright]

[Mars just settles down on the ground, head resting on his paws. He grumbles a bit and then begins to drift off into doggie dreamland]

Rodney isn't on a show, Patrick. I'm not on a show. I'm a medical doctor. Rodney is a scientist. We work for the United States government.

*shakes head*

I'm still amazed at how much the two of you look and act alike.

You're n-[blinks] You work for the US? Bu--why? What kinda stuff do you do?

We--we do, huh? [awkward smile] We... we could be twins?