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I wish I could take credit for that. No.

But this is! (http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/HowTo:Exorcise_your_Printer)

Man, that almost disappoints me.

...but that makes up for it. Do you seriously possess printers? Cause if so...dude, that's AWESOME.

It's sad, I know. Though if it helps, I had a hand in creating the E.U.L.A.

Sometimes! Not the HP ones, like the article says, because they do a good enough job on their own, but yeah, once in a while. A couple years back I sent in a proposal for a full-time hardware malfunction crew but knowing Dagon it probably never went through.

Really? Damn, guess it makes sense now, considering it took me weeks to figure out half the stuff it was explaining.

Well, I've come to believe that anything by HP besides computers usually comes with a demon on the side. And did you ever check up on that, because really, that'd be a great program. If not, I'll see if Luce can check up on it.

You could understand half of it, though? ~~The angel must've clarified my phrasing.~~

Are you joking? Half the department thinks it's still the Middle Ages. They haven't even reviewed iPods yet! I deserve a commendation for iPods.

Yeah, just about half. The rest was more lawyer talk that even I couldn't handle. But I might be an unfair opinion considering I was once going to be a lawyer and all.

So they're still hung up on the Black Plague and thereabout? They're missing out, hasn't anyone told them that? And did you create iTunes as well, or just ipods? Because really, you deserve a medal for those two alone.

Obviously I'll need to work a little harder next time. Although partial comprehension's always a good thing, we'll have to tweak the levels. Nothing makes someone angrier than a document they only understand 30% of.

Black Plague, the Jacobite Rebellion, something about Churchill... No, they're still arguing over telly programming half the time. [What do you do when the de facto VP says that about you? You grin and go a little pink under your sunglasses.] Well, thanks, sir. Always reassuring to know someone still recognizes quality.

It shouldn't be too hard. I mean, next time you get a chance to work on it, let me know. I'll go over it with you and show you the few parts I did understand. And yeah, Jess was pretty pissed when she tried figuring it out, didn't feel so bad when I couldn't either.

Wow, they really need to work out their priorities. Not that those times weren't important, but honestly, paperwork for things past makes no sense. Wait, really? [He shakes his head but smiles at Crowley - he's pretty cool, he has to admit.] It's Sam. Just call me Sam. And well, you've adapted, though it seems the stiffs downstairs just don't seem to notice it.

Any time's fine, really. London's been awful lately and the Droid's outselling the iPhone now so it's not as if I have much to do.

To be quite honest they've probably got that worked out, but last I went in to file something one of them was muttering about the Bay of Pigs and another was on about Doctor Who––the Third Doctor. [First-name basis? Wow, that's a level of familiar he's not sure he's comfortable with.] Sam. All right. Yeah, well, you know how the more things change, the more they stay the same? Half of downstairs doesn't even know the first half of that little proverb exists.

Well, isn't there another version in production of the iPhone? It's not like it won't pick back up, though google phones have been a big thing with the nexus coming out. ...ever thought about trying to get google in on our side?

Probably isn't good enough though, not in my opinion. At least they're only fifty years behind - I don't know how they're going to take the loss and revival of Doctor Who though, that might be interesting to watch. [Sam hopes he'll get comfortable with it, considering 'sir' just doesn't sit well with him] Good. And I'm really sorry about your work conditions, man, it's just depressing from what it sounds like.

There's always another version of the iPhone, but the mobile competition is getting a bit stale. Time to move onto the Kindles and the Tablets, I think. As for Google, I swear they have wards up or something. Every time I try to get into a meeting there I end up outside, bewildered, and holding a fair-trade soy latté.

Let them suffer through it. They deserve to experience the angst and longing. [There's always My Lord, or Your Eminence, or a variety of other brown-nosey options?] Oh, they're not mine. This is Dagon's lot. Astarte assigned me over back in the beginning before I took the apple job in Eden.

Because Apple can't have a steady OS that keeps up with things properly, but hey, they're flashy, right? And really, Kindles? Not many people read nowadays, I hope you realize. Especially not with that price tag. [okay, that's a rather amusing picture, he can't help but laugh] So google is allied with Heaven? Y'think God created google?

Only sounds fair to me. If they want to stay behind, it's their own fault. [He could try them, but Sam would probably brush them off, he'd rather be on a name-to-name basis with the cool demons in his mind.] But you still have to work with them from time to time, right? Wait, you did the apple thing? Not Lucifer?

I'm not one to undermine reliability, but take it from me, flashiness is all you need. You've got a point there, but we're mostly talking about the techno-greedy population here. As long as it's electronic and new, they'll have to have it. [raises an eyebrow; kind of a jump to a conclusion] Could be, or could just be that they know what they're doing. They've definitely got someone on their side.

I knew there was an advantage to staying up here. [even the cool demons who insult the Impala?] Every time I need to file something, so more often than I'd like. -- Er. That was me, yeah. Eve and I got along.

It attracts the eye and gives one pride in what they got, right? Flashiness is all people are about anymore, not the fact they have something to better their lives. And true, even if people don't know how to read, they'll buy anything they can for it. [He couldn't help it, it's just been worked into him] Do you guys encounter that often? I mean, people just knowing what they're doing?

Besides getting to enjoy the human amenities all the time? [He guesses he can let it slip...for now at least.] Really sorry, man. Wow, I...so then what part did Luce have in things, if you don't mind me asking?