sixwordstories | (no subject)

Sometimes it works on 'em. An' when it don't, just take what I want anyway.

[Laughs out loud.] So you're a big man with a small cock trying to prove yourself. Sweet.

Call it what y'want, sweetheart. Truth is I get laid whenever and wherever the hell I want.

I admit that there are a multitude of stupid women in the world.

And you ain't one of 'em? Sure. They all say that.

I suppose they do. They must not want to make you feel bad.

An' I really care about what women think of me, blah blah blah. Oh sure, I'm practically cryin' here.

[Laughs quietly and pulls her hair over her shoulder before poking at his nose.] You talk big, darling. But your eyes are so sad. I think you care more than you let on.

*his eyes narrow and his hackles rise, making him seem like a rather large and pissed-off cat*

Bullshit.

[Smiles with white, straight teeth.] If you want a tip, kitten, all the hissing and fluffing is a bit of a give-away.

*snarls*

An' who asked you? Fuck off.

[Lights a smoke.] Strange that so many chaps tell me that. I think it's because I have a fabulous ass.

Your ass ain't got nothin' to do with this!

I know. It's someone else's ass, inn't?

*sounding touchy*

Well, if it ain't yours then who the hell does own it?

[Laughs loudly.] Oh, sweets. I meant your problems have to do with someone else's ass. A pretty little bird, I'm betting.

Fuck off.

Like a broken record. So who is she? Hmm?

That ain't none of your goddamn business.

So it is a bird. [Offers him a smoke.] Woman can be twats.

An' don't I just know it.

See, you keep saying interesting things and then keeping me in the dark.

Like I'm just gonna open up an' tell you everythin'. Does this look like fuckin' Oprah to you?

[Offers him a smoke.] You're both ugly, mate. Does that count?

*waves her hand away; he doesn't object to smoking - hell, it's not like it's gonna kill him - but he doesn't smoke himself. Unless he's being set on fire*

An' she's got a better rack.