sixwordstories | (no subject)

Well, it's not his real name, it's the name he "earned" after he went after all those people with railroad Spi-- um. *clears throat*

Long story short we're not allowed to call him William.

... Ahh. So it's not a cultural or species thing. This man simply has an affinity. For spikes.

Species thing? Well, I mean, if you wanted to get technical, that probably was like, a huge contributing factor. *relaxes, now that he knows this dude clearly is in the know about all that goes bump in the night*

You know, the whole eating people issue. *rubs at his neck*

*grimaces: omg gross cannibalism* You know, I know that's not technically cannibalism, but I still get more weirded out than I should by creepy aliens who want to eat me. Sure, they usually don't even try -- USUALLY -- but it'd be like me talking to a sentient cow. All I could think about would be hamburgers.

That's what Spike says all the time! He's always going on about humans just being Happy Meals on legs. And it really starts to creep you out after awhile. And he has tried to eat me once, and sure he was like, drugged kind of, but really, ow.

And that's so awesome-- without the wanting to eat you part-- aliens. I mean, sure I've heard, and Buffy's seen one once, but mostly I just see vamps now-a-days.

Yeah, I've never gotten that close to the eating stage. A firm word and a wave of the phaser does wonders.

I don't know -- 'vamps'? No, not familiar. Where are they from? Are they a new Federation species? I should know that sort of thing but, you know what? It's sometimes way easier to just let Spock take care of it.

*DROPS HIS HOT POCKET ONTO THE CARPET*

*STAAARE*

ARE. YOU. SERIOUS?

...Your -- food-packet-thing just kind of exploded all over your shoes.

Eww, what's in that?

... Pizza.

But that's not important right now!

What's important is the fact that you're James Tiberius Kirk, Captain of the USS Enterprise, and I think I'm hallucinating and should sit down now.

*thumps into the carpet alongside his Hot Pocket*

...Yeah. I am Captain of the Enterprise, aren't I? *hands on his hips, grins widely and rocks on his heels*

I'm so cool.

Yeah you are!

Oh holy shit! wait until I tell--

Holy shit they would be so jealous.

No-- But really... am I dead or in a coma? *actually concerned about this*

*squats, looking curiously at the other man, then slaps him. hard*

Did you feel that?

DDDDDDD: OOOOOW. You-- you hit me!

*Andrew immediately brightens* Captain Kirk hit me!

And yeah I felt that. Ow.

So you're probably not dead! Or in a coma. *happy shiver* I love this Captain-y thing. Say it again.

*breathlessly* Captain Kirk.

-- Hey, so, I know it's kinda weird, but I gotta ask while I'm, you know, actually in front of Captian Jim Kirk. Are you, Spock, and Doctor McCoy... you know...

You still have pizza on your shoe. :(

*sits for real, but definitely away from pizza* ...Are we what?

*absently wipes at the pizza with a sock he's just found under the couch*

((... AND NO I DON'T KNOW WHERE THEY ARE SHHH))

You know... You guys are all considered like, the OT3 and the start of slash.

... I mean are you guys banging.

(( THEY ARE IN MAGIC LAND ))

*blink*

*blinkblink*

*snort*

*okay okay straight out ROFLMAO*

Are we -- Bones? Bones? Oh, fuck, I'm going to pee -- oh, fuck, oh fuck, no, no, we are not -- that would be so many cocks!

*looks pretty disappointed*

Ahahah... Yeah.

... Cocks.

Those are... That'd be gross, huh?

*shift*

*snorts, covering his grin with a hand*

Sorry, Andrew.

H-- Huh? No, I ... it's just what people think on-- on the internet.

Not, not me.