(no subject)

[exdemon]

So. Apocalypses. I don't like them.

Comments

[cheerleader]

They are pretty problematic.

[exdemon]

I mean, I've accepted that I may have as few as fifty years left during which I will slowly become less and less attractive, but I'd rather at least have those years!

[cheerleader]

... I hope you get to have those years too, Anya. You deserve them.

[exdemon]

Thank you, Claire. You're entirely right. I do deserve them.

[cheerleader]

Where exactly did you hear about an Apocalypse, anyways?

[exdemon]

I was just looking at my ring and thinking about when my husband-to-be proposed to me.

[cheerleader]

... you're engaged?
































And that somehow reminded you of the Apocalypse?

[exdemon]

Well, yes. Though we haven't announced it yet, so don't tell anyone we know. I probably shouldn't have told you either, but you're not one of our friends, so it doesn't matter if you know.

[cheerleader]

I'm not your friend?

[exdemon]

Oh, you are. A short friend who doesn't have sex. But you don't know Xander.

...do you?

[cheerleader]

I don't have any idea who Xander is. And there's more to a person than whether or not they've had sex.

[exdemon]

He's my fiance. I love him deeply. And I know, but I still find it strange you've never even pleasured yourself.

[cheerleader]

How is it strange? If I want to...do that, I'd do it with my boyfriend.

[exdemon]

There's nothing wrong with it. I simply find it odd you've never tried it.

[cheerleader]

I'm only eighteen.

I have a question, though. Once Percy and I get back together, do you think it'd be a good idea to have sex with him? It'd be something I could give him that no one else could have.

[exdemon]

Well...

I think you'd enjoy it if he does it right. So yes, I think it's a good idea. But don't do it for him. If he can't wait until you're ready for sex to have it, he deserves to have his entrails liquefied. So do it because you want it, not for him.

[cheerleader]

... oh.

How great can it really be, anyways?

[exdemon]

Well, imagine this. You know that feeling you get when you're doing something fun? Like eating chocolate, or riding a roller coaster. It's sort of like that, except combine it with the pleasant, squirmy feeling you get when looking at an attractive man who has no clothes on. And that pleasant feeling you have when you have no clothes on. Plus the feelings of being touched in very pleasant places. Then multiply it by a lot. That's what an orgasm is like. It's very great.