sixwordstories | (no subject)

Depends on who you're trying to win against.

It depends on how someone tries to look at it.

Not really. It depends on how you look at it.

I don't want to go into some sort of "bitch fit" about winning and losing.

shrugs It isn't a bitch fit. So what or who are you trying to win against?

sighs and smiles My brother.

I don't have one of those but my partner in the force might as well be one. Family members are hard to win against. They always make some argument and make you see it there way or no way at all.

I don't want to exactly win-win against him. I just want him to know that I'm a fighter too.

Damn... I think that's one thing my new partner is trying to make me realize. sighs Have you told him how you feel? That might be a start.

How I feel? You got to be kidding me. He doesn't want to hear that.

No, I'm not kidding. If you don't get how you feel off your chest you're just going to suffocate underneath all those feelings. He'll never know that you're a fighter and you'll never win.

...I don't really care about suffocation at this point. He doesn't. I'll just let him control his "job". It makes him feel whole. And that's all I want in this world.

I seriously doubt that. No job, no matter how big or small makes someone feel whole. Feeling whole is the job of the family. Not the job.

He feels like he needs to protect me. I'm not entirely against the idea of being protected. But...I don't really feel like we're as together as we used to be. There's only two of us left and whatevers happening has me thinking that...it's just going to end with one of us.

And it won't if you open your mouth and say something to him. To me he sounds like he's trying to build up this wall to keep people out. That's just going to end up hurting him.

If I push him he gets angry. If I do ANYTHING...He gets angry. I might as well quit while I'm ahead. Distance myself while I'm not too attached. Even if he's as attached as he's ever going to get

Let him get angry. Let him vent. He might actually need that. Otherwise all you're doing is killing him and I'm sure that's the last thing you want to do.

...What if that turns out to be exactly what I want? He acts...so tired sometimes. Like he's just ready to give up the next chance he gets he makes it seem he doesn't even want to be here anymore.

But you don't know that for sure and you never will unless you talk to him, ask him and in turn tell him how you feel. How do you know that you distancing yourself isn't what's making him feels so tired? How do you know that's not what's making him want to give up if that's really what he wants?

Because...he just doesn't want my help. I've already had people telling me to have a heart-to-heart with him. It's never worked out. Ever. And it won't work out.

Because he doesn't WANT it too.

Yeah, it will. If anyone is the one giving up its you. Not him.

How can you be so sure it will? I don't want to hurt him.

Because I've seen things... I've been through things. And sometimes someone has to be hurt before things can be made better.

He's the only one I have left...I don't want to break him. I NEED him.

If you need him like you say you do then you'd talk to him and let him know what was on your mind.

Probably not. Just the way life is.

I guess I'll just get used to it. You know what I mean...don't you? You try so hard and get crushed along the way?

Mhm. Feeling that way right now actually. *shrugs* I guess I"ll have to get used it. Jess will have to get used to it. Everyone's just going to have to get used to it. Now I know how she feels when Sam left to go find their Dad. MISERABLE>

...Jess? Wait...Another version. *sighs* Don't scare me like that, Ana. JEEZ! Maybe you can go to The South Pole or the Congo? Me and my Dean were trying to pick out possible vacation spots and those came up.

Everyone just needs a DAMN VACATION.

Yeah...Jess came back from el deado. Dug her way up from her own grave. It was rough. But she graduated from Stanford..under a different name....it must suck not having her back in your verse...but our Sam? He keeps screwing up with her and she's like all..bitchy. It's kind of funny. But kind of not.

A vacation sounds really nice. But Dean and Sam can't take one. Too many demons to hunt....

I don't think I'd handle my Jess coming back from el deado. I'd rather BECOME el deado (again) if that happens. Annnnddddd...That kinda sounds like a Buffy episode I watched once. Us Sams can be idiots when it comes to the ways of romance. Point: Madison. Meg. *facepalms*

Don't Sam and Dean know it...dammit. I think we'd be stuck in an infinite loop of demon hunting if the world had it's way. But it's always been us against the world. It really has.

Yeah. She kicked your ass for sleeping with madision. she tracked you down and then she was gonna come tell you she was alive and then she opened the door and saw you and her...ew. Madison from what I hear was a really ugly dog. literally.

And yeah. demon hunting is your world. I guess it's becoming mine now too.

Madison was a conquest that didn't last, sadly. She was a nice girl in a bad situation. But...I don't like talking about people I know who I did/could have loved.

Demon hunting has never been our world. It's been our family. That's our world.

Mhm. Okay. Whatever.

And yeah. Well I'm tossed into the whole thing now. The things ya do for a guy even if he's being a dick right now.