sixwordstories | (no subject)

What's wrong?

I'm a horrible mother who can't make her own children happy, I'm slowly probably killing my relationship with my husband, I afraid to talk to my best friend because his girlfriend is jealous of me and I don't deal well with any of this. Add in the fact that I think I'm sick and I haven't eaten in a couple of days and I think I'm generally fucking FUCKED up.

And I miss talking to my god damned best friend and not having to care.

frowns You're not a horrible mother, Ally. I saw how you were with those boys. You were happy and so were they. Alec and my brother both adore you so there can't be anything horrible about you if that's the case. I've not met your husband, talk to the man once... but otherwise never met him. How are you killing the relationship? He loves you doesn't he?

As for your friend, if he's a true friend he won't let his girlfriend stand in the way of the friendship. And since you haven't eaten anything in a couple of days then maybe you should try crackers and water. I'm not a doctor and I can't say I really know what to do when someone is sick and hasn't been eating for a bit. But you might want to try it.

You're not a horrible person, Ally. You can make people happy. That's saying something.

They cry. All day, unless someone else is holding them. But me? No they just keep on crying. And I don't give John the attention he deserves because I'm too preoccupied with the boys and when we get a minute alone I'm either trying to sleep or out walking until it hurts.

And I was talking about Alec. Rachel's jealous of me and I'm NOT ruining what he has with he just because I want to talk. But he's my best friend in the world and I miss him and he gets me and did I mention I miss him?

I just want to sleep for ten years, but considering I can sleep ten minutes I don't think that's happening. I hate knowing that I'm falling apart and not being able to do anything about it.

*sighs* Sorry I'm just piling this all on you, but you're the only neutral party I know.

It's okay, Ally. I'm good at listening to people. Especially those my family care about. And you're not going to ruin anything between Alec and Rachel. She'll have to deal with the fact that Alec has friends that are female.

What I suggest is find a baby sitter for the boys... hell, if need be I'd even volunteer for it, and then you and John take a few days to yourselves. That way you're not falling apart.

As for the babies... I doubt you're the only one they do that to. I'd give you some remedy for something like that but I don't even remember my own mother. Not that we really had a normal childhood. But, yeah, you and John need a few days to yourselves.

And Alec lives at your place... so if need be leave him a note. Let him know how you're feeling and then let him deal with it as he sees fit to. Or... if that doesn't work, give Ben the message and he'll talk to Alec and then... yeah, Alec will deal with it as he sees fit to.

I can't just shove my kids off on someone else, they're supposed to be my responsibility. I'm the one that's supposed to be able to take care of them and kiss everything better. That's what it's supposed to be like. That's what Mom's do! They fix things and make they're kids stop crying. Why can't I do that? Where did I fuck up?

That's the only job I have, to take care of my kids and I fuck it up royally.

I don't want Alec to have to deal with me. Because that's what he'll do. He'll come to me and I don't want that, I want him to be happy and be with Rachel and I know he'll come to me. And that just won't do.

You wouldn't be shoving your kids off on anyone, Ally. They maybe your responsibility but you've got to let people help you along the way too. I used to be that way. Never wanting help and wanting to do every damn thing myself. Then I met Logan Cale... didn't change much at first but little things here and there seeped in.

No, Ally, you haven't fucked a damn thing up. You listen to me and you listen to me good. Those boys love you. My brother and smart aleck friend loves your ass. You're good to them. So don't start with the shit that you fucked up because you didn't. If you had they wouldn't love you so damn much.

Hell, I like you. And that's saying something. And he's your friend. When you need a friend they're there. He can be with Rachel and be happy and still talk to you and have a friendship with you. Him talking to you and hanging out with you isn't going to harm that relationship.

And if it does... then that's not love at all. And I'd really hate to think someone was using a friend of mine.

Then why does it feel like I've let everyone down?

It may feel that way, Ally, but you haven't. Hell, you did one thing for my brother that I couldn't. And Alec... boy adores you, you know. You're this great person.

Like I said though... get away for a few days. Take John and get away for a few days, spend time with yourselves. Talk, make love... do what you need to in order to straighten whatever your feeling out.

Trust me... it'll make you feel better in the end.

I am trusting you on this. And I don't trust people. So... I don't know, I guess you're lucky. Woo.

I'll try.

And thanks.

I know all about the not trusting people. I didn't trust you at first when Alec had told me about this family that had taken him in.

And you're welcome.

If it does go wrong you'll get a chance to kick my transgenic ass but for the most part I hope it helps.

*laughs softly* Like I could kick your ass if I tried!

I'm glad you trust me now.

Hey, maybe not but I'd still let you try.

I trust you because you make my brother and friend happy. And their happiness means a lot to me. They mean a lot to me.

Thanks Benny.

You helped me, it's my turn Sis.

You're my brother, it's my job.

You're my sister, it's my job.

Fine then. We agree. Stubborn.

Now. Tell me what's wrong.

Yes I am stubborn. I'm also apparently a brat.

A stubborn brat?

Maybe.

Now spill it.

You sound like me! You're New England Benny boy!!

Huh?

Nothing dude, nothing.

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