sixwordstories | (no subject)

Really now? What's the name of your agency?

Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce. It's an advertising agency, one of the finest in New York. In fact, we recently won a CLIO for one of our commercials.

I've not heard of it. I change the chanel when the adverts are on.

Let me guess. You don't buy things either.

Of course I do. But I only buy the things that I need.

But then, the things you buy, you buy them because of us. Because you have a choice and we tell you what you want.

The things I buy, I buy because they're best suited for the job I want doing. Or, they're the cheapest.

The cheapest is also advertised. Trust me, I work with numbers.

That may be so, but advertising doesn't work on me. I can think for myself.

But that's the beauty of it! Advertising gets in your head, whether you notice or not.

Name one thing you think I've bought that I don't need.

It could be anything! A magazine, a television set, a new purse for your wife or your favourite brand of beer.

... A purse for my wife? Why would any advert convince me to buy a woman's item?

Most husbands are eventually confined to the dog house.

*snorts* Maybe I should have bought her the purse afterall.

Possibly. *shakes his head* I'm grateful for Trudy's understanding, really. That woman is a doll.

I assume Trudy is your wife? Not an actual doll?

*pulls a face; what kind of joke is that??*

Yes. Trudy is Mrs Campbell.

*makes another amused sound at that*

She still sounds like a doll.

Excuse me? *raises his voice*

*puts on a voice which is a fair impression of Shawn*

The Trudy Campbell Doll. Now with matching purse.

*just watches him, completely and utterly speechless*

.....

*raises a hand, as if putting some space between them*

Look, whoever you are, I realise that you probably have reduced mental capabilities and I don't want to engage in a fight with someone of your kind. But you ought to respect my wife's name.

*raises his eyebrows for a moment before they fall into a scowl*

Do you think I'm better than you? Talking about my mental capacities and insisting that I'm a sucker for your advertising jiggle or whatever! I'M Head Detective!

*looks him up an down, his mouth twitching in disgust*

And I'm the king of Switzerland! *leans forward a bit as he says this, his ironic tone emphasized by a wonky smile* I'd like to speak to your superior, if you were so kind.

*looks at him, his head jerking back a bit*

I doubt it, you're too short to be him. And I am my superior!