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Oh, come off it.

I'm merely noticing the advantages of resourcefulness.

And again, all I can say is: it took you this long?

But of course, it would require you to actually have resources you can use. But even small steps count, Granger.

You're a bastard. Anyways, I'm actually finding I have quite a few cards dealt my way. Somehow, it had never occurred to me to play them.

Zabini was giving me advice, actually. Though he wouldn't call it that, I think. He is very fun to talk to.

I have plenty of proof that my parents were married before I was conceived. Thank you very much.

You've been talking to Blaise? Well, I guess nothing I have to say will help much either way. Good luck, Granger!

Lucky them.

Zabini and I have been talking for a while now, didn't you know? I do think he worries about you...

You want to be married?

He is? But he never said anything to me. Worries about what, exactly?

I don't know, that wasn't my point. Why?

Oh, it started after your little fit over the Patronus. I wouldn't want to spoil his concerns. After my little...realization a few days ago, he did seem concerned that in my new mindset, I'd either try to hex you or shag you. Didn't want you to get hurt, I think. Seeing as I've done neither, I feel I should've made some sort of wager...

What was your point?

Ah, yes. Blaise and his quests. I'm sure if he was concerned enough, he'd tell me and, honestly Granger, I don't think I have anything to fear from you. You're -- well, you. And don't do that, don't wager if you can sleep with me. You'd lose, but I'd rather not have to beat you off with a stick. Again.

You're still a bastard.

Honestly, I don't really think you're worth looking at, but thanks for your reassurement. It's only taken a couple days and I realize what many boys will beg to do for the silliest things. You're hardly of interest in that respect. I don't think you'll beg me for anything, much less let me use you. Eventually, that will be refreshing, I think.

And I'll still be the best in our class. I do really like this change. Whatever it is.

I most certainly am not.

Gryffindor boys beg for it, Granger, and maybe, if you're lucky, Hufflepuffs. Everyone else knows the meaning of self-restraint.

You'll only at the top of the class because the professors are unfairly biased towards your house.

And yet you are. Would prat work better? That would work better.

Really? It seems to me the Slytherins are the ones keeping up the chase. And I really haven't given a thing. I'd be careful in your House, they're looser with their tongues than you seem to think. It's a pity, too. I was thinking about how Slytherin values might actually have some basis in reality. Then they go and spoil the illusion.

Hardly. But comfort yourself with that thought. I don't particularly care. It doesn't improve your standing, does it?

You don't even know what our values are, Granger. But nice try on the condescension, you've almost got it.

My standing? My standing where? I know I'm the best - everyone who matters knows this. I can hardly be bothered with trivialities.

I wonder how quickly I can get the Slytherin common room password? Faster than you can get Gryffindor's, I'm supposing...

Really? There's no one who's horribly disappointed that the Mudblood always comes first?

You want to make a bet with me? Knowing full well that I'll do anything to win this? You're very foolish.

Nope, not a one. They all know why the school has to write your name on the top of the lists.

How do you know I don't already have it?

That's not what I used to hear about Daddy.

Shut up about my father, Granger. You do not talk about my parents. At all.

You play nice, and I will. You said you didn't want my pity or my honesty, so deal.

I never play nice.

Oh, I want your honesty. I said, I didn't trust you to give it. And I was right.

Then neither will I. A nice balance, isn't it?

Actually, I was honest with you. Apparently, you don't appreciate that sort of gift when you see it, so I'm retracting the offer. We can play by your terms, if you keep after me like you do.

It really is a pity. You had so many things right that I couldn't see, and now that I do, you're still an idiot.

You were honest? You don't know how to masturbate - that's just crap, Granger.

And what do you think my terms are?

You can stop flattering me any day now, Granger, I'm still not interested in you. But yes, I was right. I usually am.

Never said I didn't know, said I didn't know how often. That's a truth.

Being an insufferable bastard.

Nnn...no, you're not usually right, just wonderfully right about this particular line of thought. But that's not really you, is it, just a Slytherin sort of thing.

It's not as if you're hands are glued to your fanny, is it? Once a day, twice a week. It's not that hard.

Those would be rotten rules for a game. I don't think you've thought this through.

Any means to reach a goal? Yes, we're rather known for that one. The Hat sings about it every year, it's not as if it's a secret plan or anything.

What, do you schedule it? You probably do. Ew.

And yet you've managed to convince me that's the only way you're willing to play. With me, at least. Why shouldn't I return the favour? Until you determine otherwise, I will be a complete and utter bitch.

More than that.

Screw you , Granger, I do not.

You've always been that. Why should now be any different.

All right, now I'm curious. Just what is it that you've discovered about Slytherins?

Ew. Now who's touchy about the topic?

Believe me, you clearly don't realize the definition.

No.