[Fuuuuck.] Jo. Please. I know I don't deserve it, but please.
I just found out my goddamn friend is dying of kidney failure and there's nothing she's willing to do about it, so yeah, I was an asshole- I was a huge asshole, and there's no excuse for it, and I'm sorry, but are we gonna talk about the fact that you've been biting my head off every single time we talk lately? You're my friend, Jo, and I don't want to lose you to a bunch of stupid fucking arguments that we're both better than.
Oh, I'm sorry I'm not being strong enough for you. So sorry. I mean, I've known about this.. for months, so yeah.. I shouldn't have been such a bitch to you lately, but I was trying to deal with this. And deal with what the doctors were telling me. And to.. just deal, Sam. And also dealing with everything I know now. About Dean. About you. About everything. Everything I didn't know before and didn't need to know. Didn't want to know.
[Softly, and after a long, long pause:] Why didn't you just tell me? I couldn't know if you didn't tell me. I- I don't know, I could have at least known that you were dealing with this, so I could...
[She trails off. What could she have done, really?]
And what would you do, Sam? Hug me and let me cry on your shoulder? Don't exactly see that happening. I.. prefer to cry alone. I didn't want to hear everything's going to be alright. The doctors already said I'm screwed. There's nothing, Sam. Nothing will fix it. [Nope, she's not going to cry. Jo bites on her bottom lip, fighting back the tears.]
[She steps closer, kind of hoping to do exactly that.] Jo, I... I'm sorry. I didn't know. The doctors don't know what we know. [She puts a hand on the other girl's shoulder hesitantly.]
[Yeah and the moment Sam's hand is on her shoulder, she loses it. She hugs her friend tightly, resting her head on Sam's shoulder and just crying. Letting it all out. Even if it made her look weak. She was just physically and mentally exhausted.]
[Jo takes a long drink of the beer and for a moment just stares at Sam. That is until she slams her beer down and runs straight for the bathroom, slamming the door behind herself and losing all or what was left, in her stomach.]
[Well, after weird behavior like she's been showing, Sam doesn't just sit there. She runs after Jo, and catches up just in time to catch her throwing up. The look Sam gives her is terrified and more than a little weirded out.]
...If you didn't want a beer, you coulda just said so.
It wasn't so much that I didn't...[She stops to throw up some more into the toilet.] .. want a beer. I just wasn't sure I could handle it. Can't hold much down these days.
[Hesitantly, as if she's approaching a minefield, Sam slips into the stall and slowly pulls Jo's long curtain of blond hair away from her face.] Have you been throwing up a lot lately?
Yeah, which is why I just stopped eating. Can't keep it down. And yeah.. [She sniffles and pulls away from the toilet, sitting on the floor and resting against the stall wall.] it's the kidney.. thing.
A decent meal? And kept it down? Over a week. Doctors said soon I'm going to have to go in and have an IV put in to eat. My body just.. can't filter anything since that's what the kidneys do.
Not really, no. Tried toast the other day, didn't work out. [Jo clears her throat and carefully stands up.] Lets talk about something else though.. I got a case the other day.
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Just.. fuck off, Sam. Don't help. Don't come around. Just fuck off. [She was actually starting to tear up before she turned and started walking off.]
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I just found out my goddamn friend is dying of kidney failure and there's nothing she's willing to do about it, so yeah, I was an asshole- I was a huge asshole, and there's no excuse for it, and I'm sorry, but are we gonna talk about the fact that you've been biting my head off every single time we talk lately? You're my friend, Jo, and I don't want to lose you to a bunch of stupid fucking arguments that we're both better than.
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[She trails off. What could she have done, really?]
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Finally though, she pulls back a bit hesitantly and wipes at her eyes, chuckling a bit.] Tell anyone I cried, I'll kick your ass.
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...If you didn't want a beer, you coulda just said so.
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...Is it the kidney thing?
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