sixwordstories | (no subject)

Say whatever you want, briefcase. At least they're not scared of me shitting my pants right before I finger them.

By the way, love the username. It definitely fits you, mong.

Well no, I don't suppose they're worrying about anything much beyond you getting close enough to finger them.

Yes, very funny. I can't think who changed it!

Wanna smell my fingers? Because unlike you some people do get to take a taste of melted muffin. Even my toes smell of cunt, wanna check them?

I bet that even your Mum loves it.

Melted muffin? I don't even know what you're talking about anymore! But no, no I really not.

And shockingly enough I haven't mentioned it, but she happens to rather like the briefcase.

If you weren't such a virgin you'd know.

I have something much better that your mum would surely love much more too. You should remember it in case you can't find a Christmas present for her.

Do we really have to go through the fact that imaginary women don't count, again? Really!

Is it your cock my any chance, Jay? Because I will give it to her yes, in a box!

The only imaginary pussy I've had is Princess Diana's and that's only because she's already dead. Seriously, if you followed my advice your bollocks would get wet with more than just your own sweat for a change.

Sorry, mate, I'm not bent. If you're that desperate for cock you should ask Neil's dad.

...That's really quite offensive, you know? And perhaps I would Jay, but I have standards, and the type of woman that might respond well to being referred to as 'clunge' is not the type of woman I want to have sex with, thank you.

Do you ever hear the actual words that are said to you? Or do you have some kind of filter that changes word's meanings?

It's not as if I'd say I want to have anal with her corpse or anything. Don't tell me, you're like Simon and want to wait for someone speeeshul'. Good luck being two 78 year ol' virgin wankers.

You wanted my cock in a box, that sounds pretty gay to any level.

...What's it like inside your mind? I mean seriously. I'm sure normal people don't think these things. And no, not exactly. I'd just rather not sleep with someone with an STD!

Really? Because to me it sounded more homicidal, which is also something I don't especially want to be.

You just don't understand because your bollocks are so full with cum they're starting to mess with your head. And who's being racist now? Birds with STDs are still birds.

Don't be ridiculous. There's no gay killers. You even think twice before stepping on a fucking flower.

Yes Jay, I'm sure that's exactly what it is. Also I'm fairly certainly you don't know what that words means, or what a lot of words mean for that matter,

I'm almost 100% sure that isn't true, about the gay killers I mean, and just because I respect for flora doesn't make me a homosexual!

I know enough to get laid and that's not something you learn in fucking school. It's the streets where you learn the real thing. Living a little.

But the fact that you use the word flora shows how much you love dick.

The streets? And what streets exactly are you referring to here? Anyway while getting liad may be wonderful it's hardly the de all and end all. Some of us have ambitions beyond that.

Well I am sorry for knowing the proper words!

You know, the streets. As in out of your fucking backyard, twat. Out of the suburbs, the real thing. Which probably means you're already giving up on your sexual life. I can't blame you, mate. Not considering you started out by coming your first day carrying a fucking briefcase.

What's the proper word for "sucking paedo's cock"?

These streets, are they around Caravan Club? Because seeing as you spend most of your time either with us, or at home I really need more specifics about them I'm afraid. And I didn't want to have to do this, but you're forcing me- Charlotte Hinchcliff! I think under the circumstances things could be a lot worse. The circumstances being having you as a friend, and I use the term loosely, you understand.

I don't think there is one, shockingly enough. Maybe try Urban Dictionary

... Sometimes, yeah. And... London. It's all the same once you've been out and about as much as I've been. Charlotte. Really? Reminding us a 100 and 86 times a week of how much you failed at even getting the tip of your dick in her won't ever help you at all.

Maybe you should come up with one, seeing how much you like doing it.

This must have been before I got here I expect. But the point is she wanted me to...do that to her. And she still seemed really pleased to see me at the fashion show.

I don't think a pedophile would want me to, as you put it, 'suck their cock' since I'm not actually a child!

You bet, I've been doing it since I was 9. The point is she wanted to make Donovan be jealous and then she realised she had a toyboy in you. Then you turned out to be a wreck of a toyboy so she dumped your arse. After Simon's bollock anything was pleasant to see.

That never stopped Mr Kennedy from wanting to suck Neil.

You've been wondering these 'streets' since you were 9, okay, Jay. Yes, absolutely, why not? Um...Donovan wasn't even at the fashion show actually, And I don't know why you're trying to make it sound like a bad thing, me being her toyboy, which I wasn't anyway. And...we came to agreement, that's all. *he shudders slightly at the idea* can we not talk about that?

Then clearly Mr Kennedy isn't a pedophile.

And sucking random tits while you were still clinging to your mum's. I'm not talking about the fashion show, I mean when she tried to shag you and you couldn't. If Donovan had come to the fashion show you'd be a dead toyboy failure in a 70s outfit.

You're really picky over the people you suck off, aren't you?

Yes Jay, of course you were. Because who doesn't find sexually mature babies a turn on? Yes but she tried it! And has continued to show an interest in me! And don't think he'd have been able to actually kill me, Mr Gilbert would have stepped in, wouldn't he?

I honestly have no idea who I'm supposed to respond to that, to be quite honest.

Your Mum will be definitely creaming her knickers once I teach her how to get her tits sucked dry. Birds also show interest in their little brothers but that doesn't mean they fuck them. Sure thing, mate. Mr Gillbert would 'ave probably stepped in to get a better spot to watch.

If you agree on being a cocksucker at least you'll stop being a virgin git.