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[And now she's looking straight up appalled.] Oh. My. God. I don't-- I don't even know what to say to that.

[Yeah... now she's crossing her arms over her chest. STOP LOOKING THERE.] I should probably smack you right now.

[This calls for a smirk.] Don't say a thing. Just buy him some soap on a rope if he lands himself in jail again?

[That just makes it worse, Quinn. Crossing of arms just invites more attention. He's going to keep looking as though there's something to see. Good thing he doesn't come equipped with x-ray vision.] But you haven't. So either you're really not that offended, or you don't actually mind the attention.

... I'll be sure to keep that in mind.

[She's about to just turn around in a second, Cook. Don't tempt her.] Or I just don't go around hitting people like some crazy savage. And you know, I don't think your princess girlfriend would really appreciate you perving on my chest. Or talking about that Katie person's.

They're important details, Blondie.

[Oh but then he gets to perv on something else. He's an equal opportunity kind of guy.] No? Good way to get your tension out. It's no shagging but sometimes a little tussle can be fun. She can't get mad. It's not like I'm reaching out to cop a feel, which I'm guessing would result in smacking. And Princess and I don't mention Katie's tits. It's a... sore subject.

... It's Quinn.

[GDI she just can't win, can she?] Yeah, no. I'm speaking from experience, it's definitely not fun. [Eyebrow raise.] What, so you're only not groping me because I'd smack you, and not because, I don't know, you don't want to cheat on your girlfriend? Is it a sore subject because you felt Katie up? [Judge judge judge.]

Fine. Quinn. Whatever.

[Not really no. She should be flattered. Aside from a couple of cases of poor judgment, Cook happens to have impeccable taste.] Women. [Eyeroll] No, I'm not groping you because she'd smack me. And I sort of love her and all. For the record? I've never touched Katie. It's a sore subject because well... It's complicated.

And yours is...?

[She is not flattered, sry2say. ... Okay, maybe a little.] Well. Good. She should smack you. [Another eyebrow raise.] You just sort of love her? I hope you never tell her that. ... You know what, I know complicated. You can just leave it at that.

I'm Cook.

[Uh huh. That's more like it. It's just a testament to how pretty she is that he is even bothering to check her out. So seriously, be flattered that the post baby making body still has it.] She does. Regularly. I'm a bit of a wanker. Alright, love her loads. Geez. And don't worry. She knows. Tell her damn near every day. I'm pretty sure complicated in my case isn't quite the same as yours. There were rocks in mine. And going insane. And my best friend in the middle of it.

Hi, Cook.

[She is. A little. But she's not letting that show.] A what? Is that some kind of British thing? Okay. That's more like it. It... sounds like she's really important to you. She's lucky. ... Um. Yeah. Nobody goes insane in my version of complicated. Besides the people who already were to begin with.

Nice meeting you, Quinn

[ That okay. He can read her body language or whatever. Unconscious signs are very handy for this kind of thing] Wanker. Yeah it's British. For uhhh... Anyway, Effy's important. Yeah. And I'm the lucky one. Best girlfriend ever. Consider it luck then that no one you care about gets that bent out of shape.

Same to you.

[Dammit. Foiled again.] For what? [And she's smiling. Just a little. But dammit if the way he talks about her isn't really adorable.] Just saying, I bet she feels really lucky. What, you mean about them not going crazy? There's only one crazy person, but she's always been crazy.

[Sorry, Quinn. At least he's not gloating about it?] Politely put a wanker is a jerk. Not so nicely... [Cook makes the motion with his hands to illustrate just what a wanker does all day, having the decency to look down and feel embarrassed for what he figures will be her reaction.] Of course, depending on context it's also an affection insult so... [Well, it's not really a surprise there that he's all adorable about Effy. As Katie puts it, she's 'the one'. Even if it took them ages to figure it out.] Yeah, I'd guess she would. And yeah. Like certifiably mental? What's she doing out of the loony bin then?

... Oh. Ew. Gross. [Yeah, her reaction is a pretty judgey face, so it's a good thing he looks appropriately embarrassed for telling her.] Doesn't sound too affectionate. [Quinn can kind of tell that without even meeting her, just from the way he talks about her.] Trust me, she probably does. ... Um. I don't know. Somebody should seriously put her in there, though. She's such a psycho.

Yeah. Sorry about that. It is. British sense of affection then. We're a special bunch. [It is really quite obvious.] Hmm. What's so psychotic about this girl anyway?

Yeah. Sounds like it. [Really super obvious.] Um... everything? I can't even describe Berry's level of crazy. It kind of has to be experienced, or you'd probably never believe me.