sixwordstories | (no subject)

You can't be serious.

Not forever. Just take some time off. Travel.

Do something.

*small twitch of a smile* Such as?

I don't know. How's that for decisive? Get my head on straight again, maybe. Not be here with my Dad. Not have my Mom on my ass to move because an escaped terrorist might come for me.

That's quite possibly the most enticing double entendre I've ever come across.

What double...

GABRIEL! That wasn't what I meant and you knew it!

Wasn't it? *grins*

No. It wasn't!

Seriously, she's on me to move with her to the midwest to go into hiding.

Lucy .. I hope y'don't.

Hey stranger.

As I told... someone else who shall remain nameless... I don't mean for good. Just some time. Get my head on straight. It's sort of hard walking with it crooked and all.

Hey y'self.

*smiles a bit, then nods, though obviously upset*

I just know, from some mates o'mine, how hard it is t'go back once y've taken that time off. Naffin' hard, an' it took 'em years t'get back to it. But y'can't get those years back, Lucy.

Though, walkin' 'round with a crooked head's no good.

You should be careful. You're agreeing with the terrorist. All I need is my Dad to find out and I'll have hit the trifecta.

Maybe I'm not meant to be there. I mean, my grades are good but I'm just... It's been nearly a year, Gavin. This week? It's the year anniversary of that incident. What have I done in that time but sit in a class and skate through my work?

*frowns*

I'm sorry, love.

You've kept on livin', Lucy. You've kept on doin' what someone your age does. Y'didn't let that incident stop you.

Y'did a lot more'an just sit in a classroom at a university, if you're willin' t'look for it.

Don't be sorry. Please.

*sighs*

I'll say pretty please.

Oh right, I got trashed and didn't throw up in your house. Can't forget that.

*smiles*

I'm just restless. Nervous too. He's free. What is he tries something, you know?

Also, I do not do what people my age do. I don't party and drink and have sex in a shared room so my roommate walks in on us. Yes, my roommate did this. Twice.

I'll be fine. Promise. Just dealing with my own stupidity.

*laughs*

's alright. Th'stain came out. .. After I got a new rug.

Y'know that if you're really worried, y'could always take a little trip over t'Bridge o'Weir. I'd never forgive m'self if somethin' happened to y', an' I didn't do anythin' t'try an' stop it.

Well. That's why you an' I still talk.

Though. My stories from when I attended university are ..

*laughs a bit*

More like your room mate, I think.

Wait. Back up

Did I really? Oh god, Gavin, no. I mean, I don't remember... oh god, I'm sorry. Bill me for the rug. Seriously. I'll replace it.

You can't anticipate a terrorist. I mean, I do but that's because he's my very own personal terrorist, apparently. I feel special... in a weird way.

You know what happened last time you mentioned me taking a trip. Are you trying to tempt me? Hmmm?

We talk because I'm dealing with my stupidity? *laughs* More true than you know.

*rolls her eyes*

Everyone but me. Hard to get to that second date when your Dad is dragging your date out of the car before you can invite him upstairs.

No, no. Please, y'naffin' nutter. I'm not gonna bill you for th'rug. It's all been taken care o'. I had it replaced when ev'ryone made their way home. And honestly? I'm .. sorta glad y'did. I hated that rug. I just needed a reason t'get rid o'it.

*laughs*

Well, I 'spose it makes sense, that y'd feel special. Bein' shown attention is flatterin', even if it's .. crazy.

*laughs again*

Dunno, maybe. You'll never know, hm?

Yeh. Not havin' me Mum an' Da around was a big help. I'll have t'call me old room mate t'apologize for .. doin' what your room mate did, on more'an one occasion. .. Yeh, now I'm feelin' bad 'bout all that.

Don't even. I'll send you money, Mister. I'll... I'll deliver it on your doorstep. I do know where you live. God, I'm so embarrassed. I'm sorry. You're just saying that to make me feel better.

*makes a face*

Not sure. It's just... two people in my life have ever seemed to care what I think and want. One of them tried to kill me. Sort of sucks.

You're being a tease, Gavin. It's not fair and I'm going to sniff at you and pout now.

*fails at pouting, totally*

Good! You should. I actually grabbed her wallet and went for dinner. She paid... and got the bill later.

.. Lucy, if y'show up on me doorstep, just t'pay for a rug that was fuckin' digustin' an' horrible, I'm goin' t'refuse t'let y'inside. Until y'get rid o'that money, an' say that you're just visitin' cause y'happen t'be in the area. Across th'Atlantic.

*tilts head*

An' th'other?

*laughs*

Right, "sniff an' pout." An' I'm not bein' a tease. Y'know I enjoy your comp'ny. An' I mean it -- I'd rather y'be safe, even if it meant you havin' t'put up with me for a bit, than have y'worried about that lunatic.

Yeh. Maybe I should do that. Apology dinner. I'm sure th'bloke won't even remember. Or care.

Yes, that's it. I just happened to be in the neighborhood. In another country. Just wandering and thought... I should say hi. Yep, that's it.

*grins*

I don't know. Maybe, hmm, you?!

Oh god, putting up with you. Do you have any idea how hard it is to spend time with a really nice guy that plies me with alcohol and treats me like an equal? God, how can I handle it?!

*looks down and sighs*

I might take you up on the offer. I just... It's going to be tempting for him, I'm sure. He dogs temptation until it gives in. I know this for a fact.

She's married now with a kid on the way. Same guy too.

Exactly. I'm not kiddin', though. Y'try an' slip me money, unless we're talkin' about gettin' paid for a strip dance or somethin', I'm not takin' it.

.. Oh. I. Heh.

*laughs*

Well. Thank y'for th'ego boost. I .. dunno why anyone wouldn't treat y'like an equal. Since. Y'are. As far as th'alcohol, that's what a Scot is good for, yeh?

I hope y'do, lass. Y'know I wouldn't say it if I didn't mean it. I've got good security here. Besides th'fact, one o'me mates has been meanin' t'give me some lessons on me Claymore. Y'could come with me t'Orkney, if I ever take 'er up on it. That'll stop 'em: a Scot with a sword.

Ah. Well. I'm obviously not married t'th'lasses I was escapadin' with in university. .. Thankfully.

... Oh nono. Go back to that topic. Pardon me, what? Are you offering me a lap dance? Now you really are being a tease!

*blushing a lot*

Boys my age typically don't. My father treats me like I'm a kid. The girls my age find me abrasive and I find them annoying. I think you're good for a lot more than alcohol. A lot.

Doesn't hurt it would be damn hard for him to get on a plane these days. He has a pretty recognizable face in this country. Hard to shut down the country and not be known.

Kilt too? If so, I'm opening a window for a ticket.

Not pregnant either. Good for you!

*laughs*

I was just jokin' around, love.

Lads your age are all glaikit bastards, I wouldn't take it personally. An' a lot of 'em won't change, even as they get older an' realize that lasses are just as equal as we are. Albeit a bit more mental, but ..

*smirks*

Well, there y'go. What other reasons do y'need?

Ehm, we'll see. While I'm tempted t'say, "O'course!" since I will be wieldin' a sword an' all, I'm thinkin' important things could get damaged if I don't wear a proper set of pants an' trousers, y'know?

Yeh, I'm on a roll.

See? You're being a tease. I might cry, you know. I can make myself cry... with some eyedrops. Maybe.

Mental. Funny. Someone else was using that term recently. Seems I am so... Not much different from the boys.

The ticket's not too expensive. I suppose I could make that happen.

I suppose pants will have to do. I guess.

Oh, stop it. I'm not bein' a tease at all.

Yeh? Another Scot like m'self?

*smiles*

Well, it's certainly up t'you, if y'wanna come an' take a little holiday. Th'offer's open.

Oh, not just pants. Pants are .. blokes' underwear. Trousers are what Americans call pants. So. I'm gonna hafta wear both pants and trousers if I want th'future o'th' Elliot clan t'stay safe.

*laughs a bit*

Are so. I can prove it.

*blushes like mad*

You? Cute, sweet and pretty damn sexy. Me? Not been on a date in longer than I ever want to think about. You? Talking about lap dances and not even intending to follow through. Me? Teased! Ha!

No, he's from Kensington. Musician. Sweet guy. Calls me mental.

I do. Besides wanting to not be here for the holiday, I want to come see you again.

*stares at the ground*

Right. Maybe I should major in dialects of English speaking nations. Might understand you better and not embarrass myself by talking about your underwear.

*listens, his face showing his amusement as he laughs*

Well, hey .. look. I went through a period where I didn't date .. anyone. An' it was a great deal later'an where you are now. Be thankful that you're gettin' your dry spell over with now, rather'an when you're my age, all old an' dried up like a naffin' raisin'.

Besides. Lap dances are reserved for only special occasions. I guess y'were passed out by th'time I started doin' one at th'house warmin' party.

Ah, so. A Sassenach. Y'should go for it, if th'chemistry is there an' y'think he's a sweet bloke an' all. You an' I would be matched in our affection towards th'English. Me Mum would have me head for sayin' that.

*laughs, shaking head*

's not your fault, love. Our ways o'sayin' stuff an' your ways o'sayin' stuff don't always .. see eye-t'-eye, so t'speak. Besides. I know y'just wanted t'talk about me pants, anyway.

*rolls her eyes*

Yeah, so old and dried up. Yep. Suuuure. Do you look... nevermind.

... Oh now that is just not fair! You're being mean!

*sticks out her tongue*

Oh nonono. He's all hung up on some girl that babbles as much as I do. He was telling me I'm mental over someone else. Had never heard the term before. Besides, if I go for it with anyone, I'd ruin my dry spell. Can't have that.

Yep. You got me. It's my great and secret obsession. *blushing bright red*

What? I am. Some random bloke told me not too long ago, th'bastard.

*laughs*

Nah, it's true! I did, for a mate o'mine. Mind y', I .. didn't really remember most o'it. But. Someone showed me pictures an' I hung m'head in absolute shame.

*tilts his head*

Oh, yeh? Y've got yourself a crush on someone else? .. I've never called y'mental before? Could've sworn I did. But you're right. Y'can't abandon that dry spell.

*laughs*

I knew it! Ah, what can I say? Me pants are often a topic o'conversation.

You going to believe some random bloke or me? Hmmm???

You smiled, admit it. You know you did. And laughed.

*shrugs*

Did. Do. Something. Don't know. It's childish stupidity, nothing more. Happens to the best of us. I'll get over it eventually. Maybe it's because of what it was related to that him calling it mental struck me. You know how it is. Context and all.

*grins*

Or you taking them off, apparently.

.. Hmm .. That's a tough one.

*smirks a bit*

I .. Okay, I laughed when I saw th'pictures. Then I realized what a naffin' bastard I am, an' how I thought I was lookin' sexy an' hot an' that I really just looked a right nutter.

*nods*

I've been there. Was there, for a while, in fact. So I understand. It's an .. annoyin' sorta place t'be, when you're there. But when it's gone, y'sorta can't help but want it back.

*shrugs*

Eh, one or th'other. On, off, in th'process o'takin' 'em off. Y'know.

Say that to my face in a few days, Mister. When I'm within range to bap you upside the head.

*smiles*

I bet you looked adorable... in a drunken stripper kind of... I got nothing. Nevermind.

*sighs and looks at the toe of her shoe*

You're hurting either way so what does it matter? I watched my parents split and got it was tearing them both up, but I didn't get what it had to be like. Having a clue sometimes makes me wonder why people do it. The one man that wants me, tried to kill me and my own brain's working against me. Par for the course, right?

*mock glares*

You're doing it again!

Y'wouldn't bap me.

*laughs*

Nah, there was nothin' adorable about it. It was drunken, sloppy, an' all over th'place. But. It was a good time, I'm sure. From what I can remember.

*frowns*

Because .. despite th'hurtin', an' th'pain, there's a lot o'joy in it, too. I mean .. y'don't think that I said the same sorta stuff when Lara died? I said worse'an what you're sayin' now. An' then I realized, life is too short t'spend on your own. It's too short t'be locked up in your room, sobbin' over things that were hurtful an' hard in th'past. Besides th'fact, th'shite y'go through makes findin' someone who doesn't make y'wanna kill yourself worth it, somehow. An'. I dunno.

Holly helped me see all that. I didn't think that, after Lara an' Natalie an' th'other lasses I dated, there was any point in relationships. It caused pain an' it caused suff'rin' an' it was a load o'shite. But then she happened. An' I realized that there's a chance o'findin' someone who'll make y'smile after years o'forgettin' what that felt like. An' even though things between me an' her ended, I wouldn't trade those things in for th'world. I'd rather suffer on but still have those mem'ries, than let go an' be th'happiest bloke in th'world.

There's a reason there are so many love songsd out there, Lucy. It sucks an' it causes a lot o'pain, but in th'end, it's worth it.

An' I'm not doin' anythin'!

Wouldn't I? You believe I wouldn't?

*smirks*

From what you remember. Always key words.

*sighs*

I'm sorry, Gavin. I didn't mean to drop this on you. It's just... I don't know. Maybe it's just this week and being overemotional about it all. I'm fine. I'm good at handling anything. I'll be fine. Promise.

I'm glad you found the one that makes you happy. I really am. You deserve the best.

*forces a smile*

You are. You're doing it. Yep.

I believe y'wouldn't. Not hard, anyway.

*shakes his head*

Lucy, why're y'apologizin' over nothin'? There's nothin' for you t'be sorry for.

An' .. y'know, it's okay t'say, "I can't handle this. I can't do it on m'own." It's not bein' weak or unprepared. It's bein' strong enough t'know that ev'ry human person has boundaries, has limits. An' no one's capable of handlin' absolutely ev'rythin' that's thrown his or her way. That's what y've got mates for. T'help y'through it all.

So far, so good. Dunno, though.

Doin' what?

Not hard at all. You know me too well.

*smiles slightly*

Sorry for whining at you. For being all blah.

Even if I said it, I don't know how to handle it. I'm leaving town. That solves this week and avoiding it. Avoiding the holiday and Gabriel and everything. My mates? Two don't live in this country and the other held my hostage. Well, I talk to him more than I do my friends, at least. You are helping me through this. Promise. The part about the memories and the nightmares and I'm likely going to burst into tears on Friday because it's been a year and I still have nightmares.

As for the other part, not sure how to talk to you about it. Can't talk to Gabriel, that's for sure. Though the way he'd seethe would be amusing.

Being sexy and a tease.

Lucy, why do y'keep apologizin' for things y'don't hafta be sorry for?

Well, I wouldn't worry. I've got plenty o'tissues.

Y'come t'me whenever you're ready. I'll be here.

*laughs*

I .. No. You're totally lyin'. Now, stop it.

Because you fluster me. I don't apologize to anyone else. Just you.

You're too good to me, I hope you realise that.

I know you will. I have faith in that. It's just not the easiest thing in the world to say to someone.

*shakes her head*

No, I wouldn't lie to you. Not ever.

*tilts head*

Why do I fluster y'?

*shakes his head*

Lucy, I'm just treatin' y'with th'respect that y'deserve, that ev'ryone deserves.

I know it isn't. Which is why I know that when you're ready t'talk t'me about it, y'will. An' that I can't rush y'into talkin'. I know you'll come t'me when you're ready.

*smirks*

Mmhm. Sure.

*sighs, closing her eyes*

Gavin, has it ever occurred to you that why I get flustered and why I haven't talked to you about this and who it is and all is maybe because it's all the same?

Not to mention going hand in hand why I'm not lying about you being sexy or a tease?

*so not opening her eyes*

.. Y' .. y'do realize that I'm a bloke, yeh? An' even if I'm fairly perceptive when it comes t'other shite, I'm always gonna be oblivious when it comes t'lasses an' relationships an' all that? Besides th'fact, it's been quite a while since .. th'whole .. "crush" thing .. has even been a part o'me life.

*puts a hand on each other her shoulders, looking to her with a gentle smile*

Lucy. Look at me?

*eyes still closed*

Yes, I'm actually quite acutely aware of that fact, thank you.

*winced but looks up at him*

I get it. I'm mental. Blahblah. You don't have to say anything, and I get it if you want me not to come visit this week. Okay? Seriously, no hard feelings, it's all good, don't worry about it.

*furrows his brow*

.. Why do y'think I'd ask y'not t'come? Just cause o'all this?

Look, above ev'rythin' else, I love havin' your friendship. An' that's regardless o'th'circumstances or whatever it is y'might feel about me. Because I do care about y', Luce. I do. An' -- I dunno. I won't lie t'you an' say that I've never felt anythin' towards y', because I have. But I thought it was naffin' mental on my end, that a lass like you, who's got so much t'look forward t'an' so many people t'meet, that she didn't need a bloke who was at a very diff'rent stage in his life weighin' 'er down. You're pickin' majors an' figurin' out what y'wanna do with th'rest o'your life, an' we've all been through it. Me? I'm livin' th'rest o'my life, th'one that I planned when I was your age. I'm lookin' towards havin' a fam'ly, raisin' bairns o'me own .. an' it wouldn't be fair t'put that sorta shite on y'. Not now. Not ever, really.

I mean. Even with Lara? B'tween you an' I, I dunno if she's even th'right person for th'life I wanna be leadin'. She's adventurous an' darin' an' never in th'same place for too long a time. I need stability, need t'pick a spot an' stay in it. I need a chance t'dig roots, aye? Lara's never had roots, I don't think. Only wings.

*sighs a bit, dropping his hands to his sides*

Fuck it. I dunno what I'm even sayin' anymore.

One? Honestly? You don't get to decide what sort of shit is put on me. Well, I mean, I guess you do because you can go HA! So not having anything to do with you that way but try and not make decisions for me because you think you know where I am in my life and especially not ever say not ever. But that's me getting ahead of myself.

Okay, one... or two now I guess. You deserve what you want and my lameness and crush aside, you need to have what you want because I'd hate to have to go ahead and bap you when you said I wouldn't. Hate to make a liar out of you. If that's her, so be it. If that's... I don't know whomever, you deserve what you want because you're you and amazing and I say so.

I totally have forgotten what number I'm on.

Don't talk about yourself like your some end of the trail thing. Okay? I mean, you say I've got things to look forward to like you don't and everything else aside, I don't like when you talk about yourself like that. You know why? Because above everything else you're probably the dearest friend in my life right now and I don't like you or anybody talking about you like that. Okay?

*runs her fingers through her hair*

Also, I'm babbling because I'm nervous and see? You totally fluster me. Do you know that was why I drank so fast at the party? Because I utterly wanted to kiss you and so I kept my lips busy drinking... and then ruining your carpet.

Okay, so .. I'll try t'be a wee more successful at this numb'rin' thing'an you were.

One, it wasn't a matter o'me makin' a decision for y'. It was me makin' a decision for me, that involved y'. It was me takin' a step back an' lookin' at my life an' realizin' that I'm in some fucked up spot where I'm caught b'tween what I've already gone through an' where I'm goin'. An' I guess ev'ryone's caught in th'same spot, just diff'rent points along th'timeline. But it was me lookin' at where I am in my life and realizin' I dunno what th'fuck I'm doin'. An' I'm not puttin' that shite on y', even if y'say that I don't get t'decide that sorta thing. I wouldn't be able t'be comfortable in m'self if I knew I dumped a whole load o'shite on anyone, regardless o'what it's about or who it's on. An' that's just me.

Two, I dunno who it is. I thought, a long time ago, that it was Lara. Th'first Lara. We were -- I dunno. Pefect matches with each other. Same goals, same dreams .. same .. I mean, I hadn't planned on havin' t'find an' date anyone else after her. I thought she would've been th'be-all, end-all for me. Th'end o'life as I knew it. But life happens an' then I had t'keep lookin'; Lara wasn't th'person I was meant t'have a future with, accordin' t'some fucked up version o'Fate. An' since then, I guess I've .. always been subconsciously comparin' th'lasse I've dated t'her, an' obviously, no one's ever gonna be her, an' that's unfair o'me t'do t'anyone. But I'm learnin' t'accept th'fact that my life got thrown in all directions years ago, but I've still got a direction. Somehow.

Three .. I'm sorry. For upsettin' y'. I just. I know where I am. An' I know where other people are. An' I'm not sayin' I don't have anythin' t'look forward t'anymore. In fact, I know I've got quite a lot. It's just th'diff'rence, y'know? I guess it's just th'fact that I've spoken t'so many younger lots who're so focused on what's gonna happen tomorrow, when I'm focused on what's gonna happen five years from now. It's just a weird sorta .. change, is all.

*looks at her*

I .. Didn't know that, no. An' I .. I'm sorry that I fluster y'.

*tilts head*

I really .. I don't mean t'do it. Should I just .. I could just stop talkin', if that helps.

I'll give the numbering as being an age thing.

*sort of smiles*

I'm sorry I snapped. I just... I don't know. I don't know a lot. I'm willing to admit that. I know that a year ago? I didn't care about my future beyond would my Dad be tailing my next date. Then all that shattered. Do you know why I can't pick a major? Why it doesn't seem to matter to me? Because somewhere between being trapped in an elevator and having a gun to my head, I got stuck on the fact that I don't have a future.

Maybe if I get past this Fourth, the next year will be easier but for now it's not. It's this. It's me being so emotional I snap at everyone. It's me waiting for the shoe to drop and things to end.

Don't be sorry, okay? Please. I'd apologise but you'd give me hell for it. Just don't decide what I want my future to be because, you know, you've never asked me. No one really has. Not since last year. It's like they got stuck on it ending too.

And I like that you fluster me. Because no one ever has. Gives me hope, okay? Apparently that kinda hope and silly dreams are good things. Or so I'm told.

Please don't stop talking? Please? I will beg. I'm not above it. I'd rather be flustered and emotional and have my heart crushed under your boot heel than have you not talk to me. Okay?

No, y' .. y'didn't snap. I just. I didn't realize all that. Like I said, I try t'be as perceptive as I can be, but .. bein' a bloke an' all, I'm .. only as good as blind bat, y'know? Why don't y'think that y'don't have a future? If you're breathin' a second from now, a minute from now, y'have a future. An' it's a second, a minute that y'could pick that major. That y'could figure out what it is that y'wanna do. It's those seconds an' minutes that .. add up. An' eventually become our past.

An' really, you're not snappin'. Besides th'fact, I should've been more sensitive to th'fact that this week is hard for y'. I shouldn't've .. been such a glaikit bastard an' .. done all this shite.

At least you're learnin'. Y'apologize for th'things that deserve an apology. I'm glad you're learnin' what does an' what doesn't.

No one really knows what they want th'future t'be. I mean, I know I want kids an' all that, but how many? Lads? Lasses? Where do I wanna send 'em t'school? Are we gonna live in Bridge o'Weir? Are we gonna move? Ev'ryone's constantly askin' 'emselves questions that .. we can't answer. I'd like t'say that I'd want four or five, but .. can I say I'll definitely get 'em? O'course not. An' ev'ryone gets stuck on th'endin'. It's what we do as people. An' it's a shame, cause for all th'time we spend thinkin' about how it's all gonna end, we miss th'journey gettin' there.

Hope an' silly dreams are good things.

*frowns*

I. I don't wanna crush anythin' under my boot or my trainers. Or my nice shoes you threatened to soil with vomitus. 'specially not your heart, Luce. That's somethin' that no one should ever crush.

An' I obviously didn't stop talkin', did I? Now I'm talkin' too fuckin' much.

Yeah, well, I like when you talk too much. So there. I will encourage it every chance I get.

I feel like I snapped. Stop insulting yourself for being a guy. It's something I happen to like about you, being a guy and a guy that occasionally goes around with a sword and a kilt. That part doesn't hurt.

You know I don't mean a future like that. I don't know why I don't. I think about college but never about where I am after it. Wasted a few da... hours imagining several years spent in Scotland during my being mental thing but it's hard for me to think about concrete things. Maybe I just don't know what I want yet so I can't imagine it.

Four or five? Oh you better marry young then to keep up with those dreams. I've always figured I'd have kids some day. Promised myself I'd be so certain about the guy too, you know? So I didn't do to them what my parents did to me. I mean, they split when I was young, you would think I wouldn't be bitter about it but I am. Would never want to do that to my own, because I'm not past it yet and look how old I am.

Also, you're not a bastard. Everyone has bad weeks, bad days, bad lifetimes. I'm wallowing in this even when I'm trying not to. You didn't do anything other than be you and you couldn't have known that being you was going to make me insane, okay?

I just don't know about having hope in things you can't have. Seems futile, you know? Like setting yourself up for pain and failure.

I'm not going to soil your shoes! Promise. I might cry on your shirt but that washes out, thank you.