sixwordstories | (no subject)

Is everything alright?

[Sam struggles with reality for a moment before he can open the door, pale and shaky.] Did I.. scream? 'm sorry..

I thought I heard something.

Are you alright?

_{[Dean startles awake when Sam does, eyes immediately locking on him.]} Sam?

[He's shaking, head in his hands. The nightmares keep getting worse.. there are days he's afraid he won't come back. Sam's voice is quiet, thick with fear,]

.. 'm ok. I.. just a dream.

[you'd think with how often this happens... but he'll never get used to it. Dean is there, blinking his eyes slowly awake as his hand settles, gently but firmly, on Sam's turned back, rubbing in slow circles] Hey... m'here.

[Sam is utterly rigid with terror, his eyes wide and distant and still lost. His breath comes in short, panicked gasps.]

Dean.. you're.. I.. I saw.. made me see. I didn't want to..

[that hand slowly curls about his waist to draw him against his own body. Sam's shivering even though he's so warm to Dean. His nose nudges briefly against the crook of his neck] S'okay, Sammy.

[Dean is close, Sam can feel him curling near, warm breath on his neck. But he can't move, still lost in remembered terror.] I.. I didn't.. my fault.. Dean?

Sam. [he turns his face up, towards his] Hey. Look at me.

[Shaking, Sam tries to turn, eyes still blown wide with fear. He curls into Dean, clinging desperately to him.] I tried.. tried.. didn't want to see.

You don't have to see... [not anymore. He was here. God -] Sam.. it's okay. [he held him back, frowning darkly. Wanting to know, and yet not... he was here. He'd.. take care of him. Never screw up again]

Dean [His name was a sob. He'd let him down so many times. There were days Sam still didn't understand why Dean didn't just leave him. It was no less than what he deserved.] He made me see it all.. what he did. To you. All those people..

Well, it's done now. [he was glad his voice was firmer than he felt inside. It was hard... Hell, it was barely at the stage his own guilt could handle it. What he'd done just as much as Sam. But they had to deal. They were here, still...] Okay? Stop.

[Shaking, he nods against his shoulder. He has to try. Because it was Dean. He didn't want to keep letting him down. If he were stronger.. maybe it wouldn't be so hard, but he'll try for Dean. Sam closes his eyes and just tries to breathe.]

M'here... [he repeats softly. Sam wasn't alone in this, he wouldn't let that happen ever again..]

[Dean was there. He'd found him, loved him, taken care of him. It was the only thing that Sam could rely on, the only thing that was a constant through his badly broken memories, the days when he was trapped inside himself. Dean was there.] I know. Always know.. even when I can't..