sixwordstories | (no subject)

[grins] Of course I did. If I hadn't I would be able to keep tormenting you. Also, who told you that shirt was a good idea?

Thank you! I--

They're my pajamas.

And we do both know my opinion on them, correct? Now I'm trying to figure out who told you they were a good idea. Really, I'm increasingly tempted to take you shopping, just to prevent my eyes from having to look at... that.

My mom got them for me. It's not like I'm overly wealthy.

...Is your mother blind?

Nooo, not blind. Except, maybe, in a philsophical sense.

...So how do you explain the pajamas? ...Does your mother hate you? That might explain it too...

Um.

...she might, yes.

Well, now we have an explanation for the pajamas. ...Now we just need to explain that hairstyle... Did you have a fight with a lawnmower?

I--my hair's fine!

...I'm sure it is. Especially if you're going for the 'just survived an attack by a rabid pair of sentient scissors' look.

It's just a little messed up from my hat, that's all.

...Right. ...Are you delusional? Because I hear therapy can fix that...

Look.

I am not going to let you get me down.

[smiles] Then clearly I need to work harder, now don't I?

Ah, but I've already sold two thneeds! And once they tell their friends, their friends will want to buy thneeds--I'm well on my way!

...Riiiiight. ...And what happens if everyone who buys a 'thneed' dies. Hypothetically of course.

Why would you even ask that?

...I suppose in theory, any publicity is good pub---no, no, --

Why would you even ask that?

[smiles] Why wouldn't I ask that? It's an important question to ask, don't you think? Coincidentally, you wouldn't happen to know where those two customers live, would you?

...no. No, I don't.

Oh well, I'm sure the information will be easy enough to find...

It's my job, sir.

Well, thank you, all the same!

There may be shooters out there I might not have gotten. Wait for the police to arrive and secure the area. I called them as soon as things started getting crazy. They'll be here any second, sir. Just stay with me here where we have some cover. In a few minutes, this'll all be over.