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Then I suggest changing your perspective. Try standing on your head, maybe.

::His gaze remains downward, but his lips upturn ever so slightly forming a barely noticable smile::

Hello, Darcy. You've always had the most interesting advice for me ...

*smile faulters, and her brows draw together into a frown*

What's the matter, Damien?

((Sorry, didn't like the way that post read, your post is fine.))

It's nothing I guess. I just feel like I should be beter spell caster then I am. I spend so much time practicing and researching and studing. I should have more to show for it, I think.

You're right, you do only see the flaws.

*comes to sit beside him, tucks a stray strand of dark hair behind her ear*

Stuff like this ...magic, anything really... it seldom, if ever, comes easily. It wouldn't be worth it, if it did.

So, perhaps you'll become the greatest wizard that ever lived and then some. Perhaps you won't.

Does it really make all that big of a difference? Does your life depend on it that badly? Because if so, I'm sure there are ways to sort it out.

I have to be stronger.

I have a duty to make the world safe from all the people who can't defend themselves agaisnt the arcane, but my father has been fighting for almost forty years ... one of the top ten evocators in the whole world and he can hardly keep on top of what goes on in Chicago.

Harry can hardly scratch the surface of the problem, how am I suposed to make a difference? Im not even as strong as he was at my age.

Ah, I think I may see the problem.

You're putting yourself under way to much pressure, hun... look, I know this isn't what you want to hear but you're going to hear it anyway...

You need to stop trying to live up to people's expectations. Do what you can, fight as hard as you can.

If it's meant to be, it's meant to be and no force in the world can change that -- believe me, people have tried.

I honestly don't give a crap about other people's expectations and this isn't pressure put on me by Dad. This is my own expectation for myself.

I'm sorry, I don't mean to be argumentative.

It good advice Darcy and what I'd want someone who cares about me to say ... but I don't know if thats the right answer. I can't just except that I will only be what I'm destined to be and it wont change. Even if its true.

I have to keep trying to be better then everyone else, even if its impossible and only drives me to aggravation.

We are our own worse critics, love.

*smiles* Honestly? I wouldn't expect any less of you. And I would like nothing better for you to prove me wrong.

How about just trying to be better? And no, before we start getting into a pointless argument, it isn't the same thing.

How bout rather then making a false promise, I'll make this one to you ...

I will still try to be the greatest wizard ever ... but use my energy in a motivational respect, rather then a self deprocating manner.

Brilliant!

It'll save me having to hunt you down and kick some sense into you.

I don't doubt that you would make an effort to do it too.

*grins*

But only because I care. And I do, you know. Care.

What's wrong Damien? We all love your angst but this sounds serious...

ooc- This is my older Billy journal, which takes place nine years after his other journal, making him 16 and I guess Damien 19? I couldn't resist!!

((Future!Billy was one of the people I hoped would hit this thread. I'm glad you couldn't resist))

::Damien smirks:: Who exactly is the we? I would have expected that most of the people who know me and my angst would know better then to love it ...

As for what bothers me, just the usual ... no matter how fast or strong I get. It will never be enough.

I have bigger aspirations then Dad and not as much strength. I think he sold his soul to be able to thow magic around the way he does.

((ooc- Yay! I was afraid it was too presumptious to assume they'd be still be friends so far in the future! I'm glad they are! And in 9years later verse Billy's got a girlfriend, we can assume the Lily conflict was somehow resolved lol ))

*Billy grins*
Everybody assumes its your musician soul or something.

Harry is a completely different wizard than you are, Dame. If you keep using him as your measurement then you're going to kill yourself. He didn't go to Hogwarts, you did. You're strengths are gonna be different than his, not better, not worse, but different. Just like you aren't weaker or stronger, you're different. Just like you'll never burn up your hand! *grins at the last part*

((I noticed that, I was going to hit that "I love her, that is all" thread in just a moment as long as I have your blessing. I don't think its presumptious that they'd still be friends ... it's more presumptious assume that Dami and Lil's are a sweethearts after all those years, but still the mun can hope right?))

::He raises a forearm to his brow in a way over the top dramatic fashion:: I'm a tortured artist. My soul is a battle field.

::Ceases the overacting:: Yeah, I want to get him to teach me some of his stuff. I figure it will give me a real advantage if I know two styles of magic proficently.

I better get on him about it soon too ... He's going to retire Billy. Just gonna wake up one day and give up magic forever. Which means I'm gonna have some serious slack to pick up. I know your probably gonna give me the whole "its not your job" song and dance, but lets be real. When Harry hangs up the duster for good, things are going to be a real mess if someone doesn't fill his shoes.

ooc- lol, absolutely, mun's can hope. And Billy would love it if Damien commented on his other post.

*laughs and rolls his eyes at the tortured artist bit*
You are Damien, your soul is heavy with dire frusturations in the hopes that it will transfer well to music and captured the hearts of pretty girls.

I know you are Dresden Jr. and I know you think its your responsibility to be the world's best wizard and I promised to support you, remember? But man, you are strong. Strong in ways Harry will never be able to comprehend. You're Jill Marsden's boy in there somewhere. Let that save you.

Lets face it, the best reason to play the angsty tortured artist card is for the pretty girls.

And speaking of that, we still need to get our band together. I know your going to be busy with school and the armed forces and then med school ... but after that, no excuses. Even if it's just a weekend jam band. It must be done.

Being Jill's son is, was and will always be ... what keeps me from going crazy in my father's insane world.

That's a true story, my friend.

Yeah! I mean I love my crappy garage band I miss jaming with you so much! You're a god on the guitar!

You might not be able to see it, but I can, you're as much her son as your father's boy, and I'm willing to bet that makes Harry happy too. You know what though, Dame? I'm not too worried about you. I think you can handle pretty much whatever you need to and whatever you can't? I'll come rushing to your aid!

*It was a lie, he would always worry a little bit about his good friend but he trusted him enough not to worry too much*

Well god might be a bit much, but I have been playing a guitar since I could pick one up. In all that time, I was bound to get pretty decent. You should let me know when you guys have a gig, or just when I should come over for a jam session, you know whatever. Before you go off and get too busy on me ...

Being a momma's boy is my deep dark secret. If you let it out, I'll hunt you down. It wouldn't be hard to duplicate one of the infamous Harry Dresden tracking spells I'm sure.

You better come to help me, I need someone to do karate while I swing the sword.

Yeah, you got a head start on me! I didn't start til I was 7. Of course I didn't learn that my dad was the lead singer of The Craven til I was 12 or 13. Otherwise I never could have caught up. And I totally believe your a guitar god! You come anytime. We don't really... gig as much as jam so loudly we blow fuses.

Dude, its me. You know how I am around my mom. I don't even keep my supreme momma's boy status a secret anymore. No judgement here at all.

*grins and high fives him*
Any day of the week dude!

::Returns the grins and high fives::

I've been working with Dad at his office for the time being, so I'll ask him when I could get sometime off. Hopefully soonish, because the supernaural shit gets pretty heavy around halloween time.

::Dami smirks as a mischievious idea forms in his head:: You could show me around old NYC too. Maybe, if your feeling adventerous we could get some aging potions from Fred and George and hit some clubs.

Cool. Maybe I'll have to give old Harry a call and talk some sense into him.

*nods furiously*

Yes!! Let's do that!! There's been some I've been wanting to get into for the awesome live music and others just like cool!! Totally!

I've got to show you some of the record shops around here... you'll want to move in them. Seriously.

Well, once the two of us are done tag teaming Harry over his son's much needed NYC trip. I'll send an owl to the Weasley shop with an order.

A break from wizardry would be totally perfect for me right now, while I sort things out ... and hanging out with you always cures my emo.

Awesome. I need get some exploding lunch meat from them. My little brother deserves retrobution.

Yeah, I only get to hang with you when you're feeling emo... I see how it is. *grins teasingly*

You know, you might be forced to watch me play baseball when you come. I'm team capitan this year.

Good grief, what did the rugrat do to diserve exploding lunch meat?

::smirks:: I'm always Emo. Hello! Tortured Artist!

I would only sit through a baseball game for you Billy. Frankly there just isn't enough hitting in that sport. Grats on captain though!

Hey, you don't mess with big brother! No matter how funny it ultimately is! *grins*

Touche' Damien, Touche'.

Thanks! If I wasn't captian I'd just blow off baseball while you were in town but I can't really do that! But hey, it can pretty be violent and dirty. And Gordo, Goph and Tyrell are all on the team, I'm sure they'd be thrilled to say hey to you again!

Yeah, but it isn't like football or hockey. Those games are pretty brutal and totally fun.

It would be nice to say whats up to the three amigos again.

Yeah but it can't be hockey season all the time. That's in December, and I'm excited for that. No matter how much I dream about Bama Football, I do not have the build to be a football player.

Yeah man, totally. Dude, I can't wait!! We are so gonna party when you get here! The city won't know what hit it!

I'm thinking it should be.

Bama football for the win! I don't know if the family is going down for a game this year or not, but either way. I'm road tripping for at least one game. The invitation is extended to you of course as always.

Can't wait bro. For real. I'm bringing it up to Harry later today.

((I just wanted to say how impressed you are with the knowledge you have of my muse! I was so flattered and impressed with your addition of those little details, adds to the realism. Oh and I love the way Future!Damien and Future!Billy interact.))

I'm so there!! I have to pay extra to get the games up here anyway, might as well go tailgating right?!

Its gonna be rad. I can't imagine him not being cool with it.

ooc- Thanks! Billy loves Damien, its not hard. I love their future interaction too! Its so much fun! BTW, you write both Damien and Harry right?

((Guilty. I play Harry and Dami, but Damien has had more to say lately and Jill's mun has been ... not online and really any time she leaves Harry gets quiet.))

(( I totally understand, pups are fickle like that. I started reading one of the Dresden books the other day, Harry was so snarktastic!))

((Ah, your going to learn all the non canon liberties I take. I definately tone down the sarcasm with my Harry, because really ... even the toned down sarcasm that I use tends to rub some of the other muses the wrong way. Also, my Harry would be a lot older then he was in the first book ... and everyone mellows with age a bit. Which one are you reading? Storm front?))

(( We all do that, don't worry. I definitely understand the need to dial it back, I've been reading it really slowly because some parts of it make me laugh and others come off as just silly. The one I'm reading is the only one I found at the library, White Knight, I have no idea where it goes in the series. True enough with the age, even Billy's an example of it.

((I'm totally into the books. They entertain me. White knight would be the most recent book. Hopefully you'll enjoy.))

What kinda flaws? Bet you don't have many.

::Damien looks up at the unfamiliar voice, he smiled::

Well, isn't that a hell of a nice thing for someone to say. I have flaws, plenty infact. I just hide them better then most or at least try anyway.

I'm uh ... Damien. What's your name?

I didn't mean that you had loads I just mean that you know, no ones perfect. *turns a little red*

I'm..I'm Sam. Nice to meet you.

*looks at him for a second before asking again*

So what are your flaws?

That, is most definately true. No one is perfect, no matter how hard they try ... which brings me to the point.

I'm kinda following my Dad into the family business and he's one of the greatest at what we do. I try so hard and it seems like I should be better, you know. As if I should measure up to him more closely.

::He sighs::

So I guess one of my flaws would be an inferiority complex. I have others too, but that's the one that weighs on me most heavily at the moment.

Oh right.

*bites lip for a moment then says*

I have astraphobia. My brother hit me with lightening magic when I was little. I guess it's not a flaw but it's still annoying.

::Damien coughs::

L-lighting you say? Well, I can assure you ~~for the moment~~ that I won't be hitting you with lighting. ~~At least not any time soon, Harry hasn't started tutoring me yet.~~

I could understand how it would be frightening though.

::He can't deny that his curiousity has been piqued by Sam's statement and he scratches his head::

So your brother hit you with magic when you were little? It he a wizard? Was he little as well? Can you do magic? Its nice to meet someone who's aware of the arcane world. It's an interest of mine and there aren't a lot of people with their eyes open to it.

*hugs herself*

It is scary. I'll dive into someones arms or jump out my skin.

Where I come from you dont have wizards or anything like that you have sorceresses and sorcerers. Your born with your magical skill and it grows with you. I'm not too good at lightening spells but I'm great with ice and healing stuff.

*looks at him and smiles*

I love magic, makes life more exciting! You a sorcerer?

ooc: AIM? :)

It's kinda like that around here too. Except that it doesn't grow really, your born with a certain potential and its up to you to get to it. ::he sighs:: Then it seems like once you hit it, there aren't many options for getting stronger.

::He smiles back::

Magic is really great and yeah, I do throw spells around. I'm kinda known more as a wizard then a sorcerer though.