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You don't look like you're dying.

No, but I've gotta pee like a race horse, so if you could just move to the side, just a little...

[Have an odd look. An odd, LOOMING look.]

That's the men's room.

[Jess doesn't even bat an eye.] Yeah, well. The other one is occupied and -- look, dude. Do I really look like I care? I have to pee.

[He does step aside.]

Go ahead.

[he has no intention of leaving - the lock's busted and he's not going to leave a lady unattended when someone could walk in on her.]

[... and about five minutes later, he should expect to see a very irritated Jessica standing at the doorway.] I hate to tell you this, but if this is how you pick up women? It really isn't working for you.

[Have the confused face.]

I didn't want anyone to walk in on you, ma'am.

And I'm not trying to pick you up. I have girlfriends.

It's a small bathroom, this is a coffee shop -- I think I would have been okay, but I appreciate the concern.

Girlfriends. Plural. Congratulations.

Well, it wouldn't have been right if someone exposed you.

...I wasn't bragging.

[She waves a dismissive hand, moving towards the pick-up counter to grab her coffee when her name is called out. The place is so small, she barely puts any distance between them.] Look, I've had a long day. I apologize if I'm coming off as a bitch.

Oh, you weren't.

I've done much, much worse to people on my bad days.

So have I but I feel like I'm snapping at everyone today. I just need to sleep or better yet, I need to hibernate for about a month.

Someone after you?

Other way around. I'm after someone -- it's a, uh, work thing. [She uses her free hand to dig through her pocket, pulling out a business card for him -- Jessica Jones, Alias Investigations.]

[Have a long, slow look.]

Interesting company name. What do you specialise in?

Paying the bills. [And look at that, there's almost a smile there.] Most of my clients hire me for a reason, and believe me when I say that it isn't because of my winning personality.

Good at finding people, then?

May I keep this?

I guess you could say that. [Hey, if he doesn't know what the rest of the city seems to know? She's not going to out herself. She takes a sip of her coffee.] Of course. I've got plenty back at the office.

Clearly there's more to it, judging by your response.

... you could say that, too. Most of my work comes from my -- quote-unquote -- superhero connections. Really, I just thought you were fucking with me at first, but you're bound to figure it out on your own, eventually. A simple Google search would tell you all about it, so I might as well be up-front.

[He blinks, then laughs.]

You don't happen to know Jeniffer Walters, do you?

[Jess winces at the laughter.] Please don't laugh, it's fucking ridiculous. Thanks to people like J. Jonah Jameson, my face is over the city. Stupid fucking Matt Murdock and this goddamn Daredevil bullshit...

Name sounds vaguely familiar, but I can't say I know her.

Sorry. It just seems that I'm tripping over heroes these days. It's bizarre for me.

The Sensational She-Hulk.

I'm not a hero.

Never met her. I mean, I know who she is [and that Luke fucked her, but that's neither here nor there. Why Jessica even cares who that man fucks is beyond her.] but I can't say we've ever met.

Nor am I, my dear. Quite the opposite.

It seems like you may have crossed paths. Ah, well.
It's nice to meet you.

So, that makes you, what, exactly? A civilian with a thing for heroes? Some sort of cape chaser? The great, big villain?

A few of my friends know her. But, yeah. I can't say we've met.
Yeah, sure. It's nice to meet you, too.

You really want to know?
...and what's a cape chaser?

She's lovely.
I'm Matt.

In a few words: a person who is only interested in fucking superheroes, and no I'm not really interested. The fact that you haven't said outright what you are leads me to believe you're some asshole who enjoys being all mysterious and shit. Frankly, I don't give a fuck.

So I keep hearing.
Nice to meet you or whatever. I'm Jessica, like the card says.

[He grins.] I like you. You're little and full of anger, and if I pissed you off I think you'd try to kneecap me. It's quite charming.

Why would anyone want to only have sex with superheroes? Do they not have enough of their own personal problems?

... uh, thanks, I think?

Fuck if I know. Everyone has their reasons. I guess it's the same reason some people only fuck celebrities. It's like some sexual conquest to be all, "oh, yeah, I totally fucked Spider-Man!" or some shit.

You're welcome.

That's ridiculous. Spider-Man's just a kid, for starters. And his eyebrows are huge.

I've never met him, but I'll take your word on the eyebrows. He's just an example.

The world is so strange. I don't know how you people manage.

Edited 2012-05-15 01:14 (UTC)

Barely, actually. Just barely.

I don't understand hardly any of it. Even with weird people, like the heroes. It's like everyone got some sort of rule book when they were born, I dunno.

You like coffee?

Trust me, there is no rule book. We're all struggling to survive. We all have a part to play and we improvise best we can. Life's a 24/7 shit show no matter how you slice it.

Not really. It tastes like shit, but it's the only thing that gets me going after a night like last night. My feelings on coffee are similar to my feelings on cigarettes and alcohol -- it's all awful, but it's the only thing I've got some days.

Maybe.

...you want a cup of tea?

Not maybe, definitely.

Sure, tea sounds fine; are you buying?

I dunno.

Of course.

What's not to know?

[She nods over towards a table in the far corner.] I'll go grab us a seat, then.

Other people seem to manage just fine.

Alright, thanks.

[He joins her a few minutes later with a pot of tea and some cups carefully balanced on top of one another.]

Here we go.