(no subject)

[sam_k_roth]

Come winter? I will be Sam.

Comments

[onthe_threshold]

Yes, you will.

You ready?

[sam_k_roth]

Yeah.

[Deeeeeeeeeeep breath.]

I'm ready.

[onthe_threshold]

Okay, good.

[Matthew's got his workout clothes on, but he looks relaxed.]

First, you need to tell me how this usually works.

[sam_k_roth]

How I shift? It's usually triggered by a build up of toxin.

That toxin gets burned off quickly by high doses of adrenaline. The only time I've forced a shift was under serious stress. I was thrown in a tub...that changed me. Getting shot changed me.

How do I channel that sort of...intense panic?

[onthe_threshold]

Okay, first? I'm going to make you panic. You're going to freak out. I don't want you to worry about that - you won't hurt me.

You ready?

[sam_k_roth]

[He runs his hands through his hair and nods.] Ready....

....wait. What-- what am I suppose to do when I do panic?

[onthe_threshold]

Just let whatever happens happen. Don't fight it.

[sam_k_roth]

Okay. Not fighting it.

[onthe_threshold]

Good.

Okay... this isn't going to be pleasant.

[It definitely isn't - Matthew just finds the most traumatic feeling memory he can in Sam's mind and brings it rudely to consciousness.]

[sam_k_roth]

[Sam wasn't sure what to expect. The flash of water and blood and his skin being torn open burns his eyes. He stumbles back, visibly trembling from the vision. He is shaking so hard. So hard. Something uncontrollable bubbling to the surface. Soon enough his is all awkward limbs shaking and seizing on the floor as he starts to shift.]

[onthe_threshold]

[Matthew watches coolly; he's detached but paying close attention.]

[sam_k_roth]

Matt! [Sam cries out as his body is taken over by a black wolf with yellow eyes that are exactly Sam's. His nails claw on the unnatural surface, his eyes begging to be set free. He tries to scramble away from the towering human.]

[onthe_threshold]

[Matthew watches, interested but keeping his distance. If Sam attacks, he'll bounce off an invisible shield.]

Let it go.

[sam_k_roth]

[What Sam was scared of as a wolf was different then Sam as a man. The wolf didn't know the fear of the tub. He couldn't talk like this. Couldn't beg the man towering over him to let him out. He started to pace a low whine whistling through his snout. A slide show of pictures rolled through his mind. He shouldn't be here. He should be in the woods.

Let it go.

The wolf didn't understand what he was saying. Words were lost on him. But not the way in which they were said to him. Tone. He whined again this time actually looking at Matt. As if he could some how say 'I can't'. ]

[onthe_threshold]

[Matthew hunkers down and puts a hand out. There is of course the possibility the wolf might attack him. If that happens, he'll have to leash him telekinetically. Of course, he might have his throat ripped out before he can.

Oh well. He shifts his tone so it's warmer.]

Sam. C'mere, boy.

[sam_k_roth]

[Beck always said that how a person was as a person determined a lot about how they would be have as a wolf. This was true in Sam's case. He wasn't aggressive. He was curious. His senses overwhelmed by an all to human world that he didn't know....but part of him did.

The nagging urge in his stomach told him it was okay to closer to this person. That he was safe. Lowering his nose he sniffed the ground and took a few cautious steps toward Matt. Another sniff followed by a few more steps until he was dangerously close to Matt.]

(Matt should do that brain thing and make him see things! Sam doesn't think like a person as a wolf. So like seeing things as a human might help it click.)

[onthe_threshold]

[Matthew just waits, patiently. He 'feels' mentally for any of Sam's human consciousness, wishing briefly Aeron were present. She'd be able to talk to him.

Being no ordinary wolf, however, he could detect faint threads of thought that were unmistakably human. And so he very gently raises those threads, pulling at memory and logic.]

ACK! NAKED GUY ON THE FLOOR WARNING!

[sam_k_roth]

[That was something he had never felt before. The human feelings. Or the way the faces that went with those memories made him feel. It made him feel like....Sam.

It was a slow realization that came after the animal rose again and began to pace at an excited pace. I am Sam. I am Sam. I am Sam. The words echoed in his head over and over and over again until he shook his head like he'd been slapped on the nose with a paper. A low growl vibrated the back of his throat and the ruff of his coat stood on end....

Then there was pain. And human hands clutching the ground. Naked limbs exposed. Laying face down his still yellow eyes opened and tried to focus. It always took him a minute after shifting to get his footing back.]

matt's played by the skars. naked time is all the time.

[onthe_threshold]

[Matthew watches, impassive. His good eye betrays his interest.]

Sam?

Well, he actually has the body to pull that off!

[sam_k_roth]

[Hearing his voice he looks up. His stomach still feels nauseated like it always does after he shifts.] M-Matt.... [He starts to push himself up and realizes his predicament and blushes wildly.] Shit. Clothes.

[His eyes dart around looking for where ever he had shifted and left behind a pile of clothes.]

True that.

[onthe_threshold]

It's cool, just relax. It's nothing I haven't seen before.

[Matthew actually smiles a bit and goes to fetch Sam his pants.]

How was that?

[sam_k_roth]

That....was weird. [He pushed himself up off the ground and yes, used his hands to cover himself as best he could.]

I felt like Sam when I wasn't. Did you do that?

[onthe_threshold]

I bet. [He tosses his pants to him.]

Yes. Did it feel different, then?

[sam_k_roth]

[He quickly tugged his pants on. Then ran a hand through his shaggy dark hair.]

Yeah. I--at first no-- but then I--I felt like I was me. I never feel like me when I'm the wolf. I knew your name....hell I knew my name.

But I didn't do that alone. You did that.

[onthe_threshold]

Yes, I did that. This time.

Next time, we'll trigger you again and we'll see how you feel then. Would you like to save that for our next session? You look pretty beat.

[sam_k_roth]

Yeah. Next time. I think I might throw up. I always throw up....

[onthe_threshold]

Go ahead. I'll get you a glass of water.

[sam_k_roth]

Thanks....[Sam moved to find a garbage can. Hugging it in his arms he sank to his knees on the floor and wretched.]

[onthe_threshold]

[Matthew gets Sam some water, as well as a towel.]

Here.

You did good.

[sam_k_roth]

[He wiped his mouth with the towel and took a drink of the water.]

Why can't I be a cool kind of freak?