sixwordstories | (no subject)

Awww...but me touchy you GOOD touch! Not bad touch!

(That is either stretching the phrase or a little racist. Or both. Stay classy, you. We're gonna get SO many ladies with lines like that...)

*mutters* Sarcasm not appreciated, parenthesis!

Don't even get me started on stranger danger, buddy [She's stuck between tesla...ing, yeah, teaslaing the hell out of him or running as fast as she possibly can. As it stands right now her hand is creeping ever so closer to the little gun in her pocket]

HEEEY, is that a GUN in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?

(Girls don't have guns in their pockets. Well, THOSE kinds of guns.)

So, happy to see me?

(...yeah. Whatever. Roll with that and see how far it gets you.)

You wanna make out in my big white van?

I'm gonna have to go with the first option. [Well. Some girls do have THOSE kinds of guns in their pockets. Thankfully Claudia's is the kind that shoots... Actually shoots. Like BOOM bad guy goes down... Ok not bullets or anything, but it's a gun alright?!]

Let me guess, it has candy sprayed on the side in bright, cheery colours to make everything ok?

(O.O)

Dude. Your brackets just broke my parenthesis! I think my brain is still trying to figure that one out!

Also, a van sprayed with candy that is stuck to the sides? Oh COME ON! You HAVE to admit that would be kind of awesome! I'D go in that van, stranger danger or no!

But then again, I have LOTS of guns. They make everything okay for me!

(O.O)

...Yep, parenthesis are still outta commission.

My what just broke your what? Dude, are you on bathsalts or so- [That would be her cue to take a GIANT step back and whip out her Tesla. She has faith that this will work a little better then bullets did on all of those zombies] Oh hell no! I am not having my face eaten off today!

How about you go after this mystical, magical candy van and just leave me be. Please?

You had a spider on you.

Bathsalts??? *laughs out loud* I'm not a face eating druggie dude! There isn't a drug out there that'd work on me.

(Only you could hit on a woman and get accused of being a bath salts face eating guy.)

Fun fact! I heard they only found weed in that guy's system. Check out my hyperlink!!! Don't worry, that's not a euphemism for my penis.

See? So it wasn't bath salts. No worries there! ANYBODY could eat your face off at ANY time without drugs!

(Not sure that's gonna make her feel better about us there, partner...)

Oh. [She pauses mid flail]

Well, thank you kind sir for saving me from having a gazillion spider babies hatch in my ear. Or something like that.

[She's a little distracted by the fact that there is actually a hyperlink to be clicked to really be all that concerned with how exactly it got to be there]

That tidbit is mildly mildly uncomfortable... Ok all of those tidbits if I'm being honest here. [Looks like there might be more of those nifty Donner Party jars out there. Greeeeaaaaaaaaaat]

Isn't it just???

My pleasure, small redheaded woman.