sixwordstories | (no subject)

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Why would I want a cat?

You shouldn't. They're nothing but fur and dandruff and bad smells.

Exactly. And yet people keep slipping ads for homeless cats into my morning newspaper.

Truly appalling. It is not our fault the poor people can't keep the beats from breeding. It is their problem, not ours.

Why in their right mind they think I would even think of adopting one of those grouchy furballs is beyond me. Do I honestly look like a pet person to you?

Your have a rodent infestation, perhaps?

You, sir, look like a sharp-dressed man who knows where he's going. No sane person would add a disgusting feline to that mix.

That's exactly what I am. *there may be a slight grin forming on his face now* I've never understood the appeal of cats. They shed, they hiss, they crap in a box that you have to clean, and they act like they own you. Who would want to deal with that?

That's not a problem I've ever had before and never will have, with luck. Still don't see the need to get a cat if that happened. Exterminators exist for a reason, don't they?

Did someone suggest you get one?

Someone keeps slipping these wanted home ads for homeless cats into the morning newspaper at my office. It's either a really stupid prank or someone seriously mistook me for being a cat person.

They probably just think you're a miserable lonely bastard.

*lets out a light snort at that* And a cat would cure my miserable lonely bastardness how? Cats sleep all day and only go near you when they want food.