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You don't now?

And then you got attacked by a shark?

You watching? They're putting people's Shark Week Tweets RIGHT UP ON THE SCREEN. There may not actually be anything more annoying in the universe.

Of course I'm watching. Mostly I like to watch the jumping sharks and the seals that dupe those big bastards. I mean the few that do that is. Janet keeps trying to get me to do the Twitter thing. This is another case in my defense of non-tweeting.

And then one of my best friends dated this guy who was...really into them, and he slept around on her. Now I can add 'ruining Shark Week' to his list of dickery!

[Actually he was a Rokea - a shark shapeshifter - which has made sharks extra creepy on top of giving them weird associations, but she can't reveal that part!]

DON'T DO IT. RESIST THE DARK SIDE.

There's literally not enough money in the world to get me on one of those seal sled rigs. And I really, really like money, Sam.

Aww that's kinda a shame. I like those little sharks you can put in the tanks and such. But I suppose that happens a lot more than it should really happen.

[Oddly enough, it wouldn't be the weirdest thing he's ever heard!]

Like money enough to maybe consider taking a part time personal assistant job?

I'm sorry Neph. I just can't, I can't watch. It used to be fun but...Let me know when it's over, alright?

I don't know much about aquariums! Wouldn't they eat the other fish?

Yeah, it...I think it was probably inevitable? The breakup, I mean. They really seemed like they wanted different things. I liked him, but I think the way he dealt with what he wanted was really shitty. And that's why dating is the worst.

[It is one of those "if I told you I'd have to kill you" things, except they'd both be in hot water, so verbal tapdancing must ensue!]

You know what, Ani, let's just ban Discovery for now. I think USA's runnin' a White Collar marathon?

What hey what? Are you lookin' to hire somebody? What kinda stuff do you have in need of assistance?

Yes, lets do that. And if not USA, we can always see if Leverage or Castle is on Netflix.

~~You don't think they caught sight of him, do you? You don't think they... no. Not him.~~

You know I love me some Leverage. I'm pretty sure Parker is my soulmate on the astral plane!

~~Nah, they've got stealth down to a science, and they don't seem to be real big on practical jokes.~~

*slight smile* I really like Nathan Fillian. I even liked him in that internet musical, Dr Horrible.

Good. I'd hate for them to... You know, I went swimming with him once. Underwater, that is. It was the most magical experience I've ever had. I, I. I wish him well, whereever he is. *pause, as she thinks* Which is about four hundred and sixty-five miles north of Los Angeles at the moment.

[deadpans] You mean the one where the hammer's his penis?

~~Ani, do we need to have a talk about boundaries and how healthy they are? Because I pulled your shrink's number from your phone and I can ring her up...~~

Well yeah, but that's why they put them in by themselves usually. Or with fish you don't much care about. They aren't mindless eating machines you know. If they were there'd be no fish in the ocean!

Well those sorts of things happen. I mean, you gotta try out a lot of couches before you find the comfiest one to take home. Not that... Relationships are like couches. But you know what I mean.

I'd agree with the last bit though. Sometimes I think I'm just ready to give it all up. But then I think if I don't jump back in the water then I'll never find the fish for me. So it's worth swimming with the sharks. Bad pun intended.

*hides a laugh with her hand and nods* Yes, that one.

But Neph, I can't help it! I don't mean to, honest. It's just there, like... like something I just know. I think of him and I just suddenly can see a map with where he in pinpointed on it. Same way I can tell you that right now - Right NOW - my little brothers are visiting Boston today. I don't know what they're doing, but I know where they are when I think of them.

But it's Joss Whedon, and it's always "ROCKS FALL: EVERYONE DIES" with Whedon!

~~I wish you had an off-switch, sometimes. For your own peace of mind.~~

That's what Shark Week WANTS you to think! Though, credit where it's due, they're actually way less nightmare-inducing than lampreys.

I dunno, Gabe, I think I just heard you telling me that I need to sleep on a lotta couches if I want to find Mr. Right!

Are you, like, actively fishing, or just kinda napping on the beach in the meantime?

Yes, but it's still Nathan Fillian. Who seems to go hand in hand with Joss Whedon, come to think of it.

~~I've tried wearing gloves. I should really try again. Its like I don't pick up on someone unless I've touched skin as in - shaken their hand, given them a hug; something like that.~~

I shouldn't see things like that at almost two in the morning. Oh wait, I don't sleep anyway that's right.

Not what I meant. Usually people say try on pants when relating the two but I can't do that because me and pants don't mix at all! That sounded weird.

Can't I do both? I'm sorta kinda seeing someone, but I'm not rushing things.

One time I had this nightmare about a guy with lamprey mouths for eyes and I slept with the hall light on for a week.

[pauses and leans to one side, just to check] But you're...wearing pants right now?

Omigosh! Good for you! Where'd you meet 'em? Are they cute? Do they have a good 401K?

Yeah, I can't think of anything he's done without Whedon, 'cept for Castle and Slither! But that goes for a lot of the Whedon circle. It's like he's got a stable.

~~A stylish tin-foil hat, maybe?~~

I can probably go look up what else he's been in but I've only seen Castle and Dr Horrible. Oh and Firefly and Serenity. And most of those are Whedon creations.

*confused* ~~And how is a tin hat supposed to keep me from hugging people?~~