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Um, I kinda need a favour...

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Oh yeah? What might that be?

Do you think you could, um, maybe... come pick me up from the police station?

The... Blaine! Blaine Anderson? Did Puckerman steal your phone to practical joke me?!

No, it's me... Kurt won't come.

The fuck did you do?!

Well, see... we went to Walmart to get candy. It was only going to be in and out. But we went past the toy department and they had pool noodles on a display in the aisle with hop balls. So, well, we had to try them out. So we did, and they warned us to stop. Three times. But we had to finish the battle, and I won, which meant I had to do a victory lap. So, I pulled my shirt up over my head to do it and they thought I was stripping in public and called the police...

You and Puckerman got arrested in Wal-Mart?

And this, Bilbo, is why your other half won't pick you up. As if getting arrested weren't unclassy enough, you fucking got arrested in Wal-Mart. Kudos, though. I'm on my way.

Yes, and now Kurt is disowning me because I'm a Walmart criminal.

Do you have room in your car for my really big manbag with a mohawk? And they didn't press charges! They just kept us in the cell for awhile to teach us a lesson. And told us not to have sex in the cell. It's not been my most fabulous of moments.

As well he should. Even I'm not that unclassy.

As tempting as it is to let Puckerman sit in jail for a bit, I guess I can fit him in. LOL! You and Puckerman having sex in a jail cell? That's the funniest mental image I've had in a long time. Nope. Not fabulous at all. :P

We only went in for candy!

I don't think I'm going to get sex at all for a very, very long time. Pretend non-sex with Puck is probably the best I'll have in awhile.

And came out in cuffs... That's not even sexy.

Probably not. Not even a handjob. Hope Kurt didn't put bronzer in your lotion again, because your dick will look Latino, while the rest of you looks pasty white.

They didn't use cuffs. I sort of feel cheated over that.

He told me he would stop doing that, and I don't even use the lotion for that anyway... ~~Puck is so dead for telling you.~~

Epic fail. You got pseudoarrested and they didn't even use cuffs?

You expect me to believe you jerk it dry? LIES, Blainers. I know better than that. It would chafe.

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