Agent Coulson (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
blandbydesign) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
sixwordstories2013-02-11 11:53 am
blandbydesign) wrote in sixwordstories2013-02-11 11:53 am
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No, that was not an invitation.
Oh, come on. You're not gonna kick me out now, are you?
People don't tend to poison their clothes.
[Not that he really thinks you poisoned anything, but. Old habits.]
[Not that he really thinks you poisoned anything, but. Old habits.]
[She snorts and makes a show of responding, as if she actually is taking this all seriously.]
Mmm, rriight, yes, because I would poison you. I thought we were working on being besties or something. Really, I mean, [lifts one hand and rests it over her heart] color me hurt.
Mmm, rriight, yes, because I would poison you. I thought we were working on being besties or something. Really, I mean, [lifts one hand and rests it over her heart] color me hurt.
[Yes. No. Maybe.
...okay fine.]
No. I think it's a little too late for that now anyway.
[There's an almost-exasperated edge there, but really if he'd wanted him gone, if it was actually interfering with anything, he would be.]
...okay fine.]
No. I think it's a little too late for that now anyway.
[There's an almost-exasperated edge there, but really if he'd wanted him gone, if it was actually interfering with anything, he would be.]
Edited 2013-02-12 02:23 (UTC)
[Clint is pretty damn fond of that almost-exasperated edge. He practically lives for it. Exasperating Coulson is almost the most fun he can have with his clothes on. (Or off for that matter, but it was just that one time, and he'd had to promise to at least wear boxers at all times while on duty since then...)]
Thanks, boss.
[He gives Coulson a pleased grin and flops onto his couch.]
Thanks, boss.
[He gives Coulson a pleased grin and flops onto his couch.]
[He clears his throat and pulls his best "you couldn't possibly unsettle me if you tried" face while studiously ignoring her. He has a book. The book's clearly much more interesting.]
I'm not a Buddha. Rubbing my head won't give you good luck.
I'm not a Buddha. Rubbing my head won't give you good luck.
[Hey, that's a thing. That people can be confused about.
...okay he really wasn't confused at all but "nobody can have any more donuts because you ate them ALL last time....except I guess Steve can have as many as he wants if he asks" is a terrible explanation.]
You're welcome.
So, uh. How are you enjoying the future?
...okay he really wasn't confused at all but "nobody can have any more donuts because you ate them ALL last time....except I guess Steve can have as many as he wants if he asks" is a terrible explanation.]
You're welcome.
So, uh. How are you enjoying the future?
[(You were DISTRACTING, Clint. It's a reasonable request, don't make that face.)
While Barton makes himself comfortable Coulson takes his time, closes the door, picks up a few things -- yes, it isn't as if Barton doesn't live in a bachelor pad of his own, but there are appearances to make anyway.]
I think there's a superstition in some cultures about letting birds into your apartment and their likelihood of leaving after. What's the reason this time?
[While he makes his way to the kitchen to rustle up some coffee. It isn't as if it takes long, and at least it's something to do. The question's not as cold as it could be though; he's genuinely curious, the businesslike demeanor is more from habit than anything else.]
While Barton makes himself comfortable Coulson takes his time, closes the door, picks up a few things -- yes, it isn't as if Barton doesn't live in a bachelor pad of his own, but there are appearances to make anyway.]
I think there's a superstition in some cultures about letting birds into your apartment and their likelihood of leaving after. What's the reason this time?
[While he makes his way to the kitchen to rustle up some coffee. It isn't as if it takes long, and at least it's something to do. The question's not as cold as it could be though; he's genuinely curious, the businesslike demeanor is more from habit than anything else.]
[Clint watches him as he moves around the room, a little amused at the thought that Coulson feels like he has to make his place presentable.]
I'm hiding from medical.
[Once upon a time he would have lied about that, made up some excuse, but by now he'd learned that Coulson wouldn't march him back down to the infirmary unless it was life-threatening, which it wasn't. He was pretty sure. Almost certain. Ninety-nine point nine nine percent at least.]
I'm hiding from medical.
[Once upon a time he would have lied about that, made up some excuse, but by now he'd learned that Coulson wouldn't march him back down to the infirmary unless it was life-threatening, which it wasn't. He was pretty sure. Almost certain. Ninety-nine point nine nine percent at least.]
It's very fast. [Steve figures it's more polite to answer first, before polishing off the rest of the sweet. Actually, there's a ninety percent chance he steals another, because they are really good, and the last time he was awake, everyone was rationing sugar for the Cause.
When he's done, he borrows a tissue paper and wipes his hands, then extracts a small, wrapped package from his jacket pocket and holds it out.]
Here. Been carrying this around while getting settled in town. [There's half a collection of vintage trading cards in there, when Phil gets around to opening it. All of them in mint condition. All of them signed.]
When he's done, he borrows a tissue paper and wipes his hands, then extracts a small, wrapped package from his jacket pocket and holds it out.]
Here. Been carrying this around while getting settled in town. [There's half a collection of vintage trading cards in there, when Phil gets around to opening it. All of them in mint condition. All of them signed.]
Why not? [He grumps, folding his arms over his green chest. He sees no problems with smashing the General's car. Not like Coulson sees. He probably sees the massive amounts of paperwork that goes into fixing it.]
No, no, no, I didn't intend to invite you inside.
[The Doctor is going to scowl, and he might need to do something about uninvited guests getting inside of his TARDIS.]
[The Doctor is going to scowl, and he might need to do something about uninvited guests getting inside of his TARDIS.]
[Maybe you didn't, but he's here now, and considering what he's seeing? He's not going anywhere soon.]
That may be, sir, but we can't let you land your phone booth here without inspecting it first. SHIELD protocol.
[Yeah, he never expected to actually be able to say that in a million years.]
That may be, sir, but we can't let you land your phone booth here without inspecting it first. SHIELD protocol.
[Yeah, he never expected to actually be able to say that in a million years.]
[It's habit; don't judge him. ...also he almost never has guests. There's not much precedent to go on.
A few minutes later he returns to the living area and offers a cup before taking a seat on the couch himself, much more particular about it than Barton.]
What happened.
[Not a question; if Barton is actively hiding that means SOMETHING happened that was worth the trip, and he might not force him to go but that doesn't mean he can't be concerned. The Hawk is kind of his responsibility, after all.
And now he's focusing on him with a little more focused interest than when he let him in in the first place; trying to find what it is on reflex, a quick mental assessment of his own.]
A few minutes later he returns to the living area and offers a cup before taking a seat on the couch himself, much more particular about it than Barton.]
What happened.
[Not a question; if Barton is actively hiding that means SOMETHING happened that was worth the trip, and he might not force him to go but that doesn't mean he can't be concerned. The Hawk is kind of his responsibility, after all.
And now he's focusing on him with a little more focused interest than when he let him in in the first place; trying to find what it is on reflex, a quick mental assessment of his own.]
["Best-" ...yeah, he's just going to assume that's a joke.]
I didn't say it was for me. You can never be too careful.
I didn't say it was for me. You can never be too careful.
[They are. He won't fault Steve for taking more, nor will he stop him, although he does select one for himself and picks at it.
An effort which gets derailed at the appearance of the package. He puts the donut down and wipes off his own hands before reaching for it, a little bemused until he gets the wrapping off, and then...
...oh. Now he grins. Well. Tries not to because he's supposed to be professional here and ends up kind of smiling awkwardly instead.]
You didn't need to do that, Captain Rogers-
[It really should have been Fury, Fury was the one who ruined his.]
But...thank you.
[Must. Resist. Urge. To. Fanboy.]
Where did you get them, I didn't think anybody had some of these.
An effort which gets derailed at the appearance of the package. He puts the donut down and wipes off his own hands before reaching for it, a little bemused until he gets the wrapping off, and then...
...oh. Now he grins. Well. Tries not to because he's supposed to be professional here and ends up kind of smiling awkwardly instead.]
You didn't need to do that, Captain Rogers-
[It really should have been Fury, Fury was the one who ruined his.]
But...thank you.
[Must. Resist. Urge. To. Fanboy.]
Where did you get them, I didn't think anybody had some of these.
Because it's going to have to come out of SHIELD's budget to fix it. And it's technically government property.
[So yes. Lots of paperwork. Although really he doesn't mind that part so much.]
Also because if we want to get his help on certain things we can't be making his life difficult all the time.
[So yes. Lots of paperwork. Although really he doesn't mind that part so much.]
Also because if we want to get his help on certain things we can't be making his life difficult all the time.
[Well that's definitely interesting.]
I wasn't aware there was any kind of clone farm that was legal.
Where did you hear about it?
I wasn't aware there was any kind of clone farm that was legal.
Where did you hear about it?
Well. No.
I was doing some work on the side down in Florida. Normally I wouldn't care, except this one seemed intent on actively stealing people's DNA.
I was doing some work on the side down in Florida. Normally I wouldn't care, except this one seemed intent on actively stealing people's DNA.
It's nothing. Really.
[And that's not so much a lie as a creative interpretation of the truth. Or at least Clint's interpretation of the truth.]
I was just sparring with Tasha. Concussion. I'll be fine.
[But they'd wanted to keep him for observation, and he's pretty sure that's just because somebody's worried that another blow to the head might have reversed all the effects of the last one he got and he'd be all Lokified again.
He allows himself a little smirk, though, at Coulson's interest.]
You're not worried about me, are you, sir?
[And that's not so much a lie as a creative interpretation of the truth. Or at least Clint's interpretation of the truth.]
I was just sparring with Tasha. Concussion. I'll be fine.
[But they'd wanted to keep him for observation, and he's pretty sure that's just because somebody's worried that another blow to the head might have reversed all the effects of the last one he got and he'd be all Lokified again.
He allows himself a little smirk, though, at Coulson's interest.]
You're not worried about me, are you, sir?
Not Hulk's problem.
Don't be rude.
Ain't talkin' to you.
[That was Bruce, who Hulk sometimes hears in his head or imagines that he sees standing to the side. Which he is right now, Bruce having a disapproving look. Hulk doesn't seem to care either that he's talking to imaginary people.]
Don't be rude.
Ain't talkin' to you.
[That was Bruce, who Hulk sometimes hears in his head or imagines that he sees standing to the side. Which he is right now, Bruce having a disapproving look. Hulk doesn't seem to care either that he's talking to imaginary people.]
I can land my phone booth whereever I want, it's not exactly like I know where I'm landing!
[This part is indeed true. The Doctor stands there besides the console of the TARDIS, and he just stares at Phil with a disapproving look on his face.]
SHIELD? I don't believe, I've ever heard of them. The Brigadier and I haven't had a word since I retired from UNIT.
[This part is indeed true. The Doctor stands there besides the console of the TARDIS, and he just stares at Phil with a disapproving look on his face.]
SHIELD? I don't believe, I've ever heard of them. The Brigadier and I haven't had a word since I retired from UNIT.
Professional worry, Barton. If I let you go out in the field when you're not at 100% and something happens, do you have any idea how much paperwork that is?
[...granted, Coulson actually enjoys paperwork, so that's not quite as much of a hardship as it might sound coming from anyone else. But that's not the point. It would be inconvenient. And unfortunate. And he generally prefers Barton fully functional.
Okay, so it might be a little actual worry too. A fact which is demonstrated by the pointed Look over the top of his mug.]
"Just" doesn't go with "concussion" anyway. Concussions are how bleeds start. And TBIs.
[...granted, Coulson actually enjoys paperwork, so that's not quite as much of a hardship as it might sound coming from anyone else. But that's not the point. It would be inconvenient. And unfortunate. And he generally prefers Barton fully functional.
Okay, so it might be a little actual worry too. A fact which is demonstrated by the pointed Look over the top of his mug.]
"Just" doesn't go with "concussion" anyway. Concussions are how bleeds start. And TBIs.
Yeah, yeah. All that cautious crap just isn't any fun.
[He knows all this, though. Which is why he's curled up in the corner of Coulson's couch instead of on the shooting range or in the gym. He doesn't want to be in Medical, but he's not opposed to keeping himself safe somewhere else.]
[He knows all this, though. Which is why he's curled up in the corner of Coulson's couch instead of on the shooting range or in the gym. He doesn't want to be in Medical, but he's not opposed to keeping himself safe somewhere else.]
It's amazing what you can find when word gets out in certain circles that Captain America is looking for his own cards.
[Which, yes, is technically cheating a little, but he was looking for them. Those helpful souls in the government didn't have to know he planned on giving them away.]
No thanks necessary, Agent Coulson. I promised you I'd sign them and I like to keep my word.
And you're a swell, stand up guy.
[Which, yes, is technically cheating a little, but he was looking for them. Those helpful souls in the government didn't have to know he planned on giving them away.]
No thanks necessary, Agent Coulson. I promised you I'd sign them and I like to keep my word.
And you're a swell, stand up guy.
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