sixwordstories | (no subject)

I'm down with three of those things.

You're not even gonna ask what kinda delivery?

I like your style, sir.

You know he said THREE things, right?

Which one's out?

No, bro, which one's out depends on what the delivery is. Like, if you're delivering flesh-eating bacteria, I'm the one that's out.

If you're delivering Megan Fox, I'm not sure I absolutely need you to be there.

...Tingly.

Something is very wrong with you.

. . . I'll take the delivery if it's pizza, though.

Well I'm always down for delivering flesh eating bacteria. But that usually gets sent to OTHER people's houses, not mine. Kind of cramps my style a little.

Nah, can't get her, I got a restraining order. Think I got twenty pounds of rubber bands and chocolate pudding coming. If that helps.

Got anything good to bring to the table? I know you've always got SOMETHING up your sleeve.

You say that like it's the first time I've ever heard that. Ain't exactly broadcast interruption-worthy news this late in the game, Q tip.

Pizza or delivery boy?

Well, I am pretty hungry . . . get me both.

Aww, man. What am I supposed to eat then?

> I got a restraining order.

You and me both. It's a hard world.

Twenty pounds of rubber bands AND twenty pounds of chocolate pudding, or twenty pounds combined of rubber bands-and-chocolate-pudding?

Her, the Olsen twins...it's like the judicial system just doesn't want me to have ANY fun.

Yeah. That's definitely the problem.

Oh, shaddap.

Twenty pounds each. I like to be prepared.

Get yourself a pizza too, duh.

Don't get me started on the bullshit public indecency stuff.

Alright, okay, rubber band wars and pudding-eating. Bengay for the sore fuckin' muscles from the rubberbanding. Guess we need all of it.

Let's do this!

My relationships are more Icy Hot.

...if I said 'get out of my lab please' would you do it? [Bruce can only handle so much of Wade hanging around while he's trying to work.]

I were just going to bring a dance troupe I made friends with in 1973 an' a few gallons of olive oil this time, pet. Sometimes a girl's just in the mood for no-frills.

YOU TOO?!? Are we related somehow?

If we ordered some girls we could make 'em wrestle in the pudding. And throw rubber bands at 'em.

...have I told you lately I might love you?

Hey, you said you were gonna eat both!

Must be! I got the looks of the family, though.

Okay, I like how this is shaping up. And we rub them down with the Bengay after like the noble fucking dudes we are, right?

Kinky. Fire's not my number one aphrodisiac, but I think I can make it work.

If I said you've got a big microscope would you hold it against me?

...I don't think you did that right.

Not since you nicked the thermocouplings out of me bus to upgrade that rocket launcher, no. What've you done this time?

Hey now, that just hurts.

I like this plan! They're gonna be tired and sore after, it's just the nice thing to do. If we do a good enough job they might even thank us later!

Well, I'm sure you have the prettier singing voice, bro.

They're also gonna need cleaning up from the pudding. It's a good thing I fuckin' love pudding. If you don't like pudding I'll totally lick up your share. Cuz that's what family does for each other.

Who says I did anything?

[Who, him? NEVER.]

Who doesn't like pudding? Especially babe-flavored chocolate pudding. That's like. My favorite kind in the history of ever! They should market that. They'd make MILLIONS.

I believe yer. Thousands wouldn't.

[...yeah, not really.]

...but if this turns out like that business on Betelgeuse I'm sendin' you me dry cleanin' bills. Just sayin'.

Strawberry for redheads, vanilla for blonds, chocolate for brunettes.... I'm down with it.

Can one of the delivery girls have blue hair, because now I'm in the mood for blue razzleberry.

Yes, the pizza and the delivery boy. *Craaazy grin.* People are tasty.

[Sigh. Well, it was worth a shot.

Bruce sets a smaller microscope, one that he's not really attached to, in front of Wade.] Knock yourself out.

[And yes, he wouldn't mind if you took that literally. He'll just be over here working with test tubes full of liquid.]