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Oh, oh well that's reasonable. [ not. insert the most dramatic eye roll this CMO can manage before he goes about looking for a sterile towel, throwing some antiseptic wash over it. he's by her side before she can say "aw Bones" again, being a mother hen, dabbing away the blood on her face. ] If you go out there and lose a limb, I'm gonna cut the other one off to match. How's that sound for reasonable?

Only if I can knock you out without the use of anesthetic.

Get. On. The. Goddamn. Bed. Now.

[ so far you're up to three, Jim. he can throw in a few rounds of saline solution if you want. perfectly harmless, just very painful. especially with his method of delivering the hyposprays. ]

Yeah, well, you were. And what's done is done now, now you get to suffer the consequences. [ bitch bitch bitch grumble grumble. don't you miss him already, Chapel? he's getting out the antiseptic and applying it to the wound, which really isn't much to worry about after all. ]

It ain't that and you know it. Just might've been nice to know your favorite nurse was leaving. [ getting out the dermal and running it over her arm. ] That really so much to ask?

[ well shit, it isn't often he gets talked back to. for a moment, McCoy seems to bristle, and thinks about messing up that nose a little more than it already is. instead, he raises his brows and gets out the medkit he's got with him. ] Would y'look at this? We got a smartass on our hands. And y'wonder why you usually look a lot worse.

[ rose thinned her lips and puffed out the vocal equivalent of an eyeroll, didn't want to chance an actual one with the budding headache in her temples, as she slid into the seat. ] S'pose I'll take that as a compliment.

[ shifting slightly, the nineteen year old eyed him expectantly once he'd finished the scan. not that she was worried or anything but, like most people, physicians and exams always made her a touch nervous. ] What's the word, doc?

Like you don't actually know the meaning of the word reasonable. [She tries to lean away from dabbing. She's FINE.] If I order you to stop as your Captain, will you listen?

[ Oh, the hypospray is the worst part, at least for the moment, a hiss of pain escaping past busted lips and a sharp intake of breath once he's got it in. That's supposed to make it hurt less, he's pretty sure, but his good arm is pulling up to rub at it, and he's giving his CMO a wounded glance as he grabs the limb. ]

Bones - no hey, Bone -AAH! [ Hardly any time to protest before the bone pops back into it's rightful position, and Kirk is practically screaming. Like hell, that hypo did anything to numb the pain. Hurts like a bitch but he tentatively shifts the limb, and yeah, he could move it just fine now. ] Yeah. Better. [ Swallowing hard, Jim looks at him a bit miserably through the blood and the swollen eye, licking over his lips. ]

To be entirely fair, it was all in the name ...of Starfleet. Kind of. [ mumble. ] Sort of. I mean, Starfleet's decision ultimately to give Enterprise to me, right? So insulting that - [ He licked over his lip again, feeling another droplet of blood well against his tongue. ] - decision is insulting Starfleet.

Neither do you apparently. [ she's fine when he says she's fine. and right now, he's not saying she's fine so sit still!!

though the comment has him pausing, pulling back to straighten out and give her a flat glance. ] Kid, you could order me to stop as the queen of goddamn Egypt if it'd please you, but I'm here to do my job so that's what I'm gonna do. [ and then resuming his doctorly duties with cleaning up her face. ]

Dammit, Bones... [She huffs, clearly displeased by his lack of caring. Being the captain should mean something, dammit! But she does sit still. At least for the moment. We'll see how long that lasts...] You're supposed to listen to me!

[ WELL, you can blame certain bffs on Chapel's sudden absence from the Enterprise. She wasn't too happy about it, but now she's here so let's enjoy this reunion, doc. ]

Can you say that I'm your favorite nurse more often? Pretty damn sure I'd like to hear that. It might give me incentive to transfer back and make up for all the agony I've apparently caused you. [ She hardly winces at his tending to her arm. It's nothing new. ]

Off shift? [Have a wry, tired smile] Aye, I think I remember that one.

What happened to do not harm, doctor?

Mrrrgh.

[ _{those were words, really! he just doesn't feel like getting stabbed as soon as he's within arm length, so he keeps it unintelligible. it's a gift, really.

with great hesitation, he slides onto the bed.} ]

I'm needed on the bridge, Bones, cmon.

Nope, sorry. Once in a lifetime deal. [ dermal doesn't take long at all, and once it's finished, McCoy places it back on a tray. ] Now I've gotta deal with Hill and that woman couldn't find her way out of a paper bag. Completely useless. Might'swell put on the skirt myself and double as my own nurse.

[ a hypospray is loaded up with an anesthetic and a very, very slight paralytic to keep the bastard from squirming, and pressed to Kirk's arm. ] You're needed where your attending physician says you're needed, and seeing as that's me right now, [ aaaand then the plunger is depressed and there's a loud sound as the medication is injected into his arm. ] you'll stay put until I'm done with ya.

[ dropping the hypospray onto a table and picking up a scanner. ] ...how the hell do you manage internal bleeding without stepping off the ship? I only saw you three hours ago!

A smack in the face might do more good than harm in your case, Jim.

Gah-

[ _{freaking HYPOSPRAYS. he hates these stupid things and AREN'T THEY SUPPOSED TO BE PAINLESS? this is bullshit.} ]

Would you take "I'm just that good"?

And you are s'pposed t'go five minutes without nearly getting yourself killed. [ he's satisfied with the work he's done on her face so he gets out the dermal, though pauses before running it over her wounds. ] Again.

[ someone's still sore. can you tell? ]

Didn't mean it as one. [ the scanner is brought down and McCoy grabs a PADD off a table to tap away at a few things. ] Sprained wrist, minor lacerations, helluva' lot've bruising 'round the ribcage, but you'll live.

Y'care t'give an explanation for this? [ a circular motion with his pointer finger to her general form. ] 'cause I'd just love to hear the story. Girl your age has no place gettin' herself intro trouble like this.

Yeah. Off-shift. Y'do know you've got quarters on this ship that ain't in the Engineering deck, doncha'? [ shaking his head and going to grab a towel and the antiseptic. ]

I'd suggest knitting, but you'll probably find a way t'put your eye out. Hold still. [ cleaning off his buddy's hands first before moving on to the face. ] Might help if you stopped drinking on the job, Scot. [ L M A O BECAUSE YOU ARE SO ONE TO TALK BONES ]

[She can. And she's a bit surprised, but also kind of touched.] If I didn't know better, Bones...I'd say you were worried...

No, because you're a moron. [ aaaaand here's where he grabs Kirk by the shoulder and forces him to lie the fuck down on the bed. you're such a pain in the ass, Jim. ]

Can't keep workin' miracles on you, kid. Eventually I'm gonna run out of aces up my sleeve and you're going to be up shit's creek without a paddle. [ luckily for you, Jim, today is not that day. out comes the genitronic replicator for him to run over the Captain. ]

So they keep tellin' me [Not that he's been seeing the inside of it much lately. To much work to be getting on with|

[His eyebrows go up, and for a moment he looks genuinely indignant] Oi, I'll have y'know I never drink on the job. Good way t'get someone else hurt.

Bones, I might have a broken arm but a little slap from you isn't going to make me faint.