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That's usually what people say before they do something that really fucking hurts.

Okay, it might a little bit, but not to the point of really hurting.

Is this gonna turn into a debate about pain threshold? 'Cause that's where it looks like it's heading.

I would certainly prefer not to.

Right. So how about you not touch me at all, and we'll avoid any unpleasant conversational shifts.

Fine. Not a problem.

I assume that is meant to be reassuring?

In any event, I doubt there is much you could to do hurt me.

[Don't mind the condescension. Or the elitist vibe. He's new at this human interaction thing.]

[Oh, she won't mind the condescension. She's been around enough elitists in Starfleet.]

Yes, that is meant to be reassuring. Good bedside manner and all that.

[Prisoner of war, or something; he's got appearances to maintain. Pride to keep. Etc.

You would think he would learn it helps things go easier if he actually plays nice, but no.

In any event, it's true enough; the influence isn't as strong under artificial light, but the climate is similar enough to earth that it would take an extraordinary amount of effort to actually cause him any lasting harm. The hyposprays and other tools pose him little real threat. Fortunately he remains noncombative. For now, at least.]

Is it effective? Do many of your patients feel reassured?

Do you lie to everyone? Or just me?

[Jane isn't ashamed to admit she is squirming way the hell away without tripping off the alarm on the biobed and making Bones come out and grump in her direction.]

To be honest? Everyone, but I go out of my way to lie to you, captain.

[Because Chapel has attempted to hypospray Jane Kirk more than once. Every time she hopes it might get a little easier.]

[Which she appreciates. It helps when whomever she's attending stays noncombative. Christine does have self-defense training, but it's unlikely she could hold her own against Zod.]

Some of them, yes. Feeling nervous about pain does make it worse.

Ha. [Jane frowns, all right fine, pouts.]

Is this really necessary?

It is. If you want to go on this away mission, I have to give you this.

No matter what Bones might have told you, I'm not allergic to everything in the universe. Is anyone else getting this?

I know, captain. I've read your chart. [Come on, she's not just head nurse because of her pretty face.]

And yes, everyone who is going is getting it. Except for Mr. Spock because he is immune to the effects of the planet's atmosphere.

[Huff.]

Fine.

[Jane tugs her hair over a shoulder to expose her neck. She can be cooperative. Look at her cooperating.]

You're sure this won't hurt?

And so you prefer to lie to them.

[Ugh. Christine does not have time for this.] Yes. In this case, I do.

It won't. You have to trust me on this.

[It really shouldn't. And if by chance it does, it shouldn't hurt too much.]

[She trusts you to do your job. That's more or less good enough.]

Go ahead.

[One, two, three, and Christine injects the contents of the hypospray into the captain.]

Not too bad, right?

Ow!

[Okay. Jane's grinning up at her. So sue her. Unlike some people Chapel actually doesn't jab the damn thing into her neck like shes afraid the stuff won't stick.]

Not too bad though, right? I tried to make it as painless as possible.

You sure you have no desire to become a doctor?

Actually I've been thinking a lot about being a doctor lately.

Course that'd mean you'd have to leave us.

[Though she'd take you back the second you got your license, no thought.]

I would, which I'm not thrilled about, but I don't think I would pursue it until after the five year mission. McCoy would throw a fit if I left him in the middle of it.

He's not the only one.

Well, sure, the other nurses who would have to report to him directly wouldn't be pleased either.

[She chuckles and shakes her head.]

But thank you, captain.