(no subject)

[squishy_sidekick]

Oh hey, look! A giant egg!

Comments

[fine_young]

I'm guessing that's not a good sign.

[squishy_sidekick]

How should I know? It could be a dragon, or a phoenix, or a...anything that lays eggs the size of an ostrich!

[Not an ostrich's egg, mind you, but the actual ostrich.]

[fine_young]

The pheonix is not that large and lays no egg, but is reborn from fire--according to the stories, anyway. A dragon is bad, unless it is intelligent and reasonable enough not to attack.

It could be a roc's egg, I suppose. They were described as eagles large enough to carry away elephants, and that sounds about right. *He taps at the egg for a moment.* Interesting. I daresay that if you could tame whatever lays these eggs, world hunger would be given a serious blow.

[squishy_sidekick]

Why is your reaction to everything to eat it? Seriously. We don't even know what it is yet. It could be a dinosaur. I could have my very own trained attack dinosaur.

[fine_young]

Starvation is a cruel teacher. *The thought of an attack dinosaur actually gets him chuckling, though.* That would be useful. And somewhat charming, in a reptilian way.

You could call it Rex.

[squishy_sidekick]

Hey, you don't get to name my dinosaur! I could call it Mordred. Or Prospero. Or Elvira, it could be a girl, you know.

There is a strangely obscure joke here if ya get it, sai

[fine_young]

Mordred is a nice name.

You're counting chickens a bit early, though. For we know it could turn out to be a giant spider, although it does look like a bird egg.

Referencing the fact that he was nearly eaten by giant spiders or something else?

[squishy_sidekick]

If it's a giant spider, I'm stomping on it.

[Ignore the logistical difficulties in that, please.]

There's a Stephen King book that has a character named Mordred in it. He's a werespider, say true.

[fine_young]

I think it would probably stomp on you, at that size.

[squishy_sidekick]

Stop ruining my dreams!

[A crack appears in the egg.]

Hey, it's hatching!

You decide what it is, or shall I?

[fine_young]

*Smirk.* It's something I'm so good at, though.

Well, this is exciting. *He doesn't seem very excited, but then he never is.*

You can decide

[squishy_sidekick]

[He sniffs in faux emotion and, with equally false sentimentality, says,]

Oh, the beauty of new life coming into this world.

[fine_young]

*After a minute or so enough of the shell has broken to reveal a madly staring eagle-like face, and Hannibal nods thoughtfully.* That's a roc, then. I thought it would be.

What shall we do about this, then?

[squishy_sidekick]

We are not eating it.

[Merton considers this.]

Try petting it and see if it bites your hand off.

[fine_young]

I'd rather save that for a last resort, I need my hands. Maybe you should try it, that way I can sew you up if it bites.

[squishy_sidekick]

Yeah, but everyone will rejoice if you lose your hands. Besides, I couldn't take a bite from that thing. I'm delicate.

[fine_young]

I'm the one who finds the pain of others amusing, not everyone else. You make a lousy sadist, so don't bother.

And it's probably not a good idea for either of us to pet it, it might imprint or some such thing. I'd rather not kill it, either, its mother would be upset and that would be bad for everyone involved.

[squishy_sidekick]

I wasn't even thinking of killing it. And it wasn't sadism. People would rejoice because they'd stop seeing people getting eaten.

Imprinting wouldn't be so bad, though. Then I could have my very own pet roc.

[fine_young]

In this town I'm hardly the only anthropophage. And I thought it best to lay ground rules just in case.

*His lips twitch at the joke.* A pet roc indeed.

[squishy_sidekick]

Just because we have vampires and spider people doesn't mean you get to eat people, too.

[fine_young]

One more killer isn't much of a change, and I've been sticking to people who deserve it and worse.

[squishy_sidekick]

Yeah? Well, I'd take that with less of a grain of salt if being a high school bully didn't qualify people for mutilation, and I'll have you know that Tommy, Lori and I usually fight against killers like you. Mostly Tommy and Lori.

[He looked to the roc.]

But you are absolutely welcome to join us when you get big, yes you are! [He reached over to pet the bird, but it snapped at his hand and he jerked it back before it could be bitten.] Hey! Or maybe not!

[fine_young]

I set a bear trap for the bullies at the orphanage to remember me by, and that was before I ever committed murder. It was good to hear the screaming as I left. *Shrug.* But the ones I killed were far worse. Murderers and peddlers of kidnapped women and the like. The men I've killed here were pedophiles and wife beaters, no great loss.

I did mention that petting it would be a bad idea. You are lucky not to have lost a finger. It may be best just to leave it. Its mother will come for it, and I'd rather not be here when she does.

[squishy_sidekick]

Okay, now you're just evading my point. The ones you killed may have been far worse, but the ones you maimed didn't deserve what they got.

And you're right. Isn't that her up ahead?

[Merton pointed up at a giant, circling bird.]

[fine_young]

It made them stop hurting you, did it not? But since you care so much I'll try not to physically hurt the bullies next time. *He'll leave them severed fingers instead.*

I'm afraid so. Come on! *And he's just going to drag you to safely now, y/y?*

[squishy_sidekick]

Only because he had to drop out of school! But yes, thank you. Try that.

*He was fine with Tommy beating them up, but he didn't trust Hannibal to have the restraint Tommy did to avoid permanently injuring them, and considering the fact that Tommy was a werewolf with all those raw, primal instincts, that was saying something.*

I can walk on my own!

*Merton pulled away from Hannibal and ran in the other direction, but still was running away from the nest.*

[fine_young]

Welcome. *Now then, how to write 'be good' in blood on the bullies' lockers without being spotted?*

But not as fast! *He's having the time of his life, as the not-quite-little smile on his face hints.

*Once they're away from the nest, Hannibal goes over to get Merton.* It's safer to stick together, you know.

[squishy_sidekick]

Actually, I'm quite skilled at running away on my own. Besides, if we split up, she won't know which of us to go after.

[fine_young]

Luckily, she seems to be busy with her chick. And there are enough improbable things happening in this town that staying is good in case something else happens.

*He smiles slightly.* Of course I probably count as improbable, or at least insane.

[squishy_sidekick]

You definitely count as insane. If something else happens I'll just go hide behind Tommy or Lori like I always do. I'll be fine, really.

[fine_young]

Why thank you. *If he were anyone else he would probably be rolling his eyes, but since he's Hannibal there's just that slight smile.* I do hope so. Your death would be such a waste.

[squishy_sidekick]

Gee, you're right. You'd miss countless hours of entertainment, [Merton said sarcastically.]

[fine_young]

Exactly. *It's disturbingly serious in tone, but his smile widens just a bit.*