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Night Vale? What's that?

Edited 2013-08-17 21:36 (UTC)

A delightful little town where the sun is buzzing, the moon is fake, and the stars glow in horrible colors while we all pretend to sleep.

Right, and how'd I get here? And where are you?

Where is anyone? How did they get there? Are they anywhere at all, or are we all just figments of our own imaginations, floating in the void? It's impossible to say. However, I seem to be right behind you.

Hi there! I'm Cecil. *This sounds much less sinister, kind of dorky almost. And he looks dorky, too, with blond hair and white skin and a goofy smile. Although there's something weird about his teeth; they're sharper than average. And there's a weird lump on his forehead.*

*The voice was sinister. Terrifying. Ominous. Realizing it was coming from right behind him filled Merton with a crippling dread, and so he turned, slowly, fearing what he'd see. And then, when he turned...that greeting just took all the fear out of it, much to his relief. Letting out a breath, Merton was about to say how relieved he was when he saw those teeth, which reminded him of the lesson he'd learned from dealing with Lester, and that was that nerdy didn't mean 'not demonic'. The bump on this guy's forehead could just be from being shoved into a locker too hard, but there was really something up with those teeth.*

So what's up with you? Are you some sort of demonic announcer of the unknown? An undead specter of doom? A random, squishy mortal caught up in all this?

Edited 2013-08-19 02:48 (UTC)

I'm the guy who reads the news on the radio. So options one and three, pretty much. *He grins and takes out a little pocket radio, then turns it on. The radio speaks in Cecil's more sinister voice, dourly informing everyone that a skinless rhino/T-rex hybrid is rampaging on Main Street for the third time so far this week.* See?

*Then he frowns.* Oh dear, we seem to be on Main Street. One second . . . *And the bump on his forehead opens, revealing a third eye.*

Oh good, it's still on the other side of town. There are some radioactive sewer weasels a few blocks down, but they're mostly harmless--unless you try to make them play football, for some reason. *His eye closes and seems to disappear completely.* Hey, you want to go get a slice of pizza? It's mandatory!

*Merton let out a surprised yelp when the third eye opened. Well, that was unexpected. Fortunately, this guy seemed to be trying to steer him away from the rhino/t-rex hybrid, so he couldn't be all bad. Unless, of course, it was because he wanted to save the eating of the skinny goth for himself. Pizza sounded good, though.*

Sure, I could go for some pizza. So...um...you're a three eyed seer from another dimension, then? What's that like?

*He only eats people if they try to kill him, don't worry.*

It's gluten-free, I'm afraid, because all the wheat turned into demonic serpents last November and we don't want that to happen again.

And it's not really that exciting. I just report the news, and most of it is rather dull. Reminders not to match speeds with the ghost cars, updates on the probably-aliens hovering 100 feet above the Arby's, updates on City Council, the usual sort of thing.

You know, considering the circumstances and my strong aversion to being eaten by demonic serpents, I think I'm okay with that.

[Listening to the description of the job...it actually sounded kind of cool.]

Ghost cars? This place has ghost cars? That actually sounds amazing! Did you know I hosted a radio show at my high school called Goth Beat?

Corn flour isn't so bad, really.

You name it, we've got it.

[This news clearly excited Merton.]

Really? Chupacabras? Big Foot? Cthulu?

Yes, yes and don't say it. You might attract something horrible and hungry.

So, pizza time or what? It can be hard to tell, all the clocks are full of weird gray stuff again.

Yes! Yes it is! Go ahead and lead the way!

[After all, Merton didn't know where anything was around here, yet.]

*So he does.

*Big Rico has four eyes and most of the waitresses are faceless, but everyone seems nice despite all of that.*

[Merton looked a bit nervous at first, but...well, with everyone being friendly it was difficult to stay too worried for long.]

So...this seems like a pretty exotic locale, doesn't it?

[Or the locals seemed pretty exotic, one of those.]

Should we just get a medium pizza and split the cost?

Is it? Seems fairly normal to me.

Sure! *He grins.* You'll like it. No one does pizza better than Big Rico's. No one.

Not the restaurant specifically, but just...this whole place. With all the non human sorts.

[Then, worried he'd offend the guy, he quickly followed it up with,] Everyone seems very nice, though! So what kind of pizza did you want? Pepperoni?

Pepperoni sounds good. And it rarely runs away, unlike the green mouse pizza.

Yeah, not running away is always a good trait.

In food, at least. In people it can save lives.

You know, I have to agree. In people, running away can be a very wise choice.

Obviously.