[Sam's head snaps up and he shakes it pretty damm sure he's hallucinating
right now. The summoning spell didn't work and Dean was really dead in the
bedroom last time he checked. Still his voice is colored with hope as he
speaks.]
[Dean's keeping his distance, the blood dried and caked over his face. His hand is clutched around the first blade , held squarely against his own chest.]
[Sam is barely on his feet right now and he knows it, he used the last of
his strength for the spell and if Dean is going to attack him the fight
will be a short one. Wisely he keeps his back to the door and his eyes on
his brother.]
[From somewhere behind him, distant and reserved.] I - I thought Metatron was lying. I thought - [Another ruse, another bluff to cast doubt in Castiel's mind again.] Sam, I'm so sorry.
We - we'll figure something out, Sam. It'll - We have time. We can figure something out. [Except Cas' grace is waning, frothing too rapidly into nothing, and there's nothing he can do for Dean now - not that he's gone.]
[Sam tries to draw hope from Castiel's words but everything feels so final.
Dean was gone and for all Sam knew he couldn't be brought back again.
Looking down at his clothes, Sam blinks.]
I don't think so....I think the blood is all Dean's. At least I think it's
Dean's...
[Dean tenses his jaw, letting his hand fall to his side as he looks away. He cant help the way his stomach just drops, he feels like he has to vomit. But even more so he feels the need for blood, he wants to break and hurt and cause pain.]
[Sam explodes at those words just managing to hold himself back from
attacking Dean.]
NO, IT'S NOT OKAY DEAN! How the hell is this okay? You still have the
blade, the mark and now you are a fucking demon. Give me one reason this is
okay.
Okay. Well, erm. [What do you even say to something like that? Even a human - a real human with some basic understanding of social norms - would struggle to come up with something appropriate and, well. Cas is Cas. Inadequate doesn't quite cover it.]
[Gingerly, he steps forward and raises a hand as though to press it to Sam's arm, to offer him some kind of stability but instead lets it hover awkwardly between them for a moment before letting it drop back to his side. Instead, he tries to look past Sam altogether.] If - if you want to go get cleaned up... I'll stay and watch over him. Until you come back.
[Sam longed to step into the touch but he doesn't. Cas and Dean always had
more of a connection then Sam and the angel ever had and it felt wrong
somehow to change that. He manages a nod.]
Thank you....he's....in his bedroom......I'll be back as soon as I clean
up.
[Sam stumbles a bit as he walks away and the shower he ends up taking is
long and helps cover up noises of pain and grief.. He returns to the main
part of the bunker dressed in clean clothes but still looking pale and
shaken.]
[Cas had been in the bedroom, as promised, before Sam finished his shower. He stood in the door way and looked down at D- No. No, the body sprawled across the bed. The blood caking its face was still too fresh and Castiel found himself unable to look away from the hole in his chest, imagining the blood spurting out of it in time with every heartbeat before it stopped. He imagines Sam futilely pressing his hands over the wound to give him a little more time, just another minute longer.]
[Unsurprisingly, Cas hadn't been able to look at Dean for very long before stumbling back out of the room, his chest too tight, constricted in sympathy.]
[Now he sits at the long table in the war room and he doesn't look up when Sam enters the room.] How're you feeling?
... That could be arranged. [Assuming Sam can get to him before Castiel does. Killing him - killing him wouldn't be right but it'd certainly go a long way to untying the knots in Castiel's stomach.] Metatron's been contained. We're keeping him in the same prison Gadreel was in and without the angel tablet he's essentially powerless.
If you really want to rip his head off, I'm close to letting you. But - [He reaches into the empty seat next to him and draws out a bottle of liquor - he's not sure if it's the good stuff or not, only that the burn of it should be unpleasant enough to settle both their nerves - and two glasses. They clink together as Castiel sets them squarely in the middle of table, within easy reach.] - under the circumstances, I thought this might be more appropriate.
[Dean clenches the first blade by his side, just in case Sam was to attack him. He tenses his jaw, setting his eyes down upon his little brother.]
....I finally look the way I feel. [He scratches to his cheek.] I've always felt wrong , Sam. That there was something damaged in me. Something like this was bound to happen, especially after I got the mark.
[It was coming, Dean knew it was. He was the newest Knight of Hell. And it was only a matter of time before for the blood lust got to him and he'd want to kill.]
But it's your job as a hunter to stop me. You hear me? I go out of line and you gut me then and there. I'm not your brother any more. I'm a monster. And we hunt monsters, that's our family code.
We stick to the code no matter what, just never thought I'd have to apply
it to you jerk.
[Sam slowly starts back to the door, the last place he needs to be is
trapped in a bunker with his demon of a brother. He's the last Winchester
and he's going to choose when and where he goes this time.]
I'm sorry Dean...for everything...for being mad...for dying and forcing you
to sell your soul in the first place.
Hey man, we had to stop bloody mary some how. When are you gonna learn to not listen to me.
[This is hard, but in the end of the day it would never work. Dean wants to hurt, he wants to cause pain. And Crowley's got some souls waiting for him down on the rack in hell.]
[Sarah had been sitting a vigil with her phone, awaiting for a phone call from Sam but with no such luck. When she heard a knock at the door she had spent the last ten minutes pacing back and forth - opening the door her eyes teared up at the sight before her, arms wide in greeting.]
[Sam wraps his arms around Sarah in a tight hug before he's even finish
coming through the door. He hasn't changed his clothes or made an attempt
to clean up so he's still covered in Dean's blood. All he did was grab what
books he could get his hands on and trigger the bombs hidden in the bunker
before fleeing in Baby.]
[She hadn't even took notice of the state of his clothes just the look of sorrow and pain in his facial features as he'd turned up on her doorstep. Her hands ran through his hair involuntarily - keeping him as close as humanly possible, finding herself crying with him before pulling back to cup his cheeks between her hands.] Sam?
[At his words she takes his hand, closing the door so she can brings his body back to hers, a firm hand against his back. Knowing that no words will bring comfort to him, she can only imagine what it must have taken to say those words out loud.]
[Sarah freezes slightly in apprehension before pulling back to cradle his head, placing a soft kiss to his cheek as she looks at him in concern, hands running through his hair.] You are welcome here for however long necessary.
[Her initial reaction to his reply is one of confusion as she leads him to sit on the apartment stairs that connect the living area to upstairs.] You didn't have to do that.
[Sarah presses her lips to his, wanting Sam to feel something other then the sorrow and sadness he felt within this moment and the ones she knew he would experience in the latter.]
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[Sam's head snaps up and he shakes it pretty damm sure he's hallucinating right now. The summoning spell didn't work and Dean was really dead in the bedroom last time he checked. Still his voice is colored with hope as he speaks.]
Dean?
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For the most part.
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[Sam is barely on his feet right now and he knows it, he used the last of his strength for the spell and if Dean is going to attack him the fight will be a short one. Wisely he keeps his back to the door and his eyes on his brother.]
What do you mean for the most part?
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I'm sorry.
[And with that his eyes flick to black.]
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[It doesn't seem like Sam can get any paler but he manages it. Shaking his head he tries his hardest to deny what he's seeing.]
No....no...no...no.
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[Sam looks like hell when he turns around to face Castiel, clothes bloody, face pale he's out of juice and out of options.]
I tried to summon Crowley and nothing happened.....I don't know what to do Cas....I don't know what to do.
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[... Sam, on the other hand.] Are you hurt?
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[Sam tries to draw hope from Castiel's words but everything feels so final. Dean was gone and for all Sam knew he couldn't be brought back again. Looking down at his clothes, Sam blinks.]
I don't think so....I think the blood is all Dean's. At least I think it's Dean's...
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[Dean tenses his jaw, letting his hand fall to his side as he looks away. He cant help the way his stomach just drops, he feels like he has to vomit. But even more so he feels the need for blood, he wants to break and hurt and cause pain.]
Please it's-... okay. It's okay.
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[Sam explodes at those words just managing to hold himself back from attacking Dean.]
NO, IT'S NOT OKAY DEAN! How the hell is this okay? You still have the blade, the mark and now you are a fucking demon. Give me one reason this is okay.
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[Gingerly, he steps forward and raises a hand as though to press it to Sam's arm, to offer him some kind of stability but instead lets it hover awkwardly between them for a moment before letting it drop back to his side. Instead, he tries to look past Sam altogether.] If - if you want to go get cleaned up... I'll stay and watch over him. Until you come back.
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[Sam longed to step into the touch but he doesn't. Cas and Dean always had more of a connection then Sam and the angel ever had and it felt wrong somehow to change that. He manages a nod.]
Thank you....he's....in his bedroom......I'll be back as soon as I clean up.
[Sam stumbles a bit as he walks away and the shower he ends up taking is long and helps cover up noises of pain and grief.. He returns to the main part of the bunker dressed in clean clothes but still looking pale and shaken.]
Cas?
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[Unsurprisingly, Cas hadn't been able to look at Dean for very long before stumbling back out of the room, his chest too tight, constricted in sympathy.]
[Now he sits at the long table in the war room and he doesn't look up when Sam enters the room.] How're you feeling?
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[Sam sat down folding his hands together even as they itch for something to do or a certain angel to punch in the face.]
I'm sick, angry and I really want to hit Metatron right now. No scrap that I want to rip his goddamm head off.
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If you really want to rip his head off, I'm close to letting you. But - [He reaches into the empty seat next to him and draws out a bottle of liquor - he's not sure if it's the good stuff or not, only that the burn of it should be unpleasant enough to settle both their nerves - and two glasses. They clink together as Castiel sets them squarely in the middle of table, within easy reach.] - under the circumstances, I thought this might be more appropriate.
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[Sam's eyes light up at the sight of the liquor bottle, it's brief but there. He manages an emotionless smile too.]
I agree with you on that one. I need to get very drunk very quickly.
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....I finally look the way I feel. [He scratches to his cheek.] I've always felt wrong , Sam. That there was something damaged in me. Something like this was bound to happen, especially after I got the mark.
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Dean no.....
[Sam's voice is shaky and soft.]
You aren't damaged...you are just....you.
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[Dean looks at his own hands. He can see the blood dripping from them from deaths past, even if Sam can not.]
This was bound to happen.
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You can't just give into this Dean....you can't....you can't leave me.
[The guilt in Sam's voice is clear now as he understands how much Dean has given up for him.]
There has to be a deal I can make.....something I can do to take the mark away.
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[The hunters jaw tenses and he shakes his head.]
No, I won't let you do that. This is your chance to live, kid.
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[Sam swallows hard, what he is about to say has to be said and he knows it.]
Dean when you kill someone I'm going to have to stop you.
I'd rather sell my soul than be the one who ends your life.
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[It was coming, Dean knew it was. He was the newest Knight of Hell. And it was only a matter of time before for the blood lust got to him and he'd want to kill.]
But it's your job as a hunter to stop me. You hear me? I go out of line and you gut me then and there. I'm not your brother any more. I'm a monster. And we hunt monsters, that's our family code.
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We stick to the code no matter what, just never thought I'd have to apply it to you jerk.
[Sam slowly starts back to the door, the last place he needs to be is trapped in a bunker with his demon of a brother. He's the last Winchester and he's going to choose when and where he goes this time.]
I'm sorry Dean...for everything...for being mad...for dying and forcing you to sell your soul in the first place.
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Things change, bitch.
[Crossing his arms Dean watches as his brother begins to edge out of the room.]
Don't apologize. We get mad. It's a part of living.
If I could do it over I'd still make the same choice. I'd never regret giving up my life for yours. Remember that.
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Yeah they do...and I wish they'd fucking stop.
[He smiles at Dean tears shimmering in his eyes.]
I love you Dean, remember that too. Anything I do after this is because I love you.
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[Dean, at least, isn't crying. Barely. He nods his to his baby brother.]
I know, Sammy. I love you too.
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That was your idea not mine remember. I tried to tell you it was bad luck, but no you had to be a jerk about it.
[Sam is torn between running and saying fuck it now. Dean just seems so normal so far.]
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[This is hard, but in the end of the day it would never work. Dean wants to hurt, he wants to cause pain. And Crowley's got some souls waiting for him down on the rack in hell.]
... Take care of yourself, alright?
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I stop listening to you when you stop dying.
[Sam backs out of the room his mind now focused on finding Baby and then Cas not completely in that order. His voice calls back to Dean as he does.]
I'll find a way to get you back Dean or I'll end up killing you.
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[With a chuckle he gives his brother wave.]
Lookin' forward to it, Sammy.
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[Sam wraps his arms around Sarah in a tight hug before he's even finish coming through the door. He hasn't changed his clothes or made an attempt to clean up so he's still covered in Dean's blood. All he did was grab what books he could get his hands on and trigger the bombs hidden in the bunker before fleeing in Baby.]
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Dean.....he's....dead.
[Sam has said the words before, but this time feels so final....that his voice shakes as he says them.]
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[He hugs her tight trying to be strong, to be the man his father and Dean always wanted him be.]
I'm sorry I...I needed a safe place the bunker I couldn't stay there anymore.
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Thank you.....just thank you. I brought you some of the books I thought you'd might like them.
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I wanted to.....I didn't want the books to all burn.....
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[Sam knows this is a bad idea, knows it deep in his soul but he kisses back anyway tightening his grip on her.]