sixwordstories | (no subject)

... Which part?

Hmm? Oh, no, it's alright. I was just leaving. [Nothing to see here. He totally wasn't just breaking into a secure facility.]

[Phil gives the guy his best "not amused" face and stands with his back to the door.]

Try again before I break out my big gun.....and trust me it's big.

[Methos wasn't too worried about a gun. Although they did hurt a hell of a lot. Although... if it was big enough to blow off his head? That would be cause for concern.

The old man held up his hands, doing his best to look as non-threatening as possible.] I was looking for a friend.

His name is Duncan MacLeod. [Bloody Highlander always getting him into these messes.]

[Phil raises an eyebrow and moves his hand up to the right height,}

Short dark hair, charming with a hint of annoyance, about six feet tall. He's inside. Got shot by our outer defenses and scared the crap out of my medical team when he woke up. Damm Immortals.

[He rose an eyebrow at the 'Damn Immortals' comment. Of course they knew about them. It was getting harder and harder to hide in the shadows in this world. Annoying, really. The Watchers had been bad enough.]

So, he's your prisoner?

[Phil's eyebrow goes up.]

Start with the why.

No....my female staff members keep flirting with him and won't let him walk.

[Phil is finally starting to warm up and his voice is colored with humor now.]

Plus I kinda had a bet going with a friend on how far into the base you'd get.

[Methos was slightly less tense, but not by much. This man and this place were still an unknown and he was more of less trapped. But it was better to be cordial than hostile if it would possibly keep him from getting locked up or worse.] Oh?

And how'd I do? Did you win the bet?

[Phil does the calculations in his head.]

You made it farther then McLeod who didn't even make it to the outside door so I just won twenty bucks. If you'd gotten down the hallway it would have been fifty.

[He then extends his hand.]

Phil Coulson, new director of SHIELD. You two happen to be looking for work?

Of course I made it further than Mac. He's about as stealthy as a giraffe. [Methos scoffed, looking at the offered hand. After a moment, he takes it, but he's skeptical.]

Adam Pierson. [As though he'd offer up his actual name to the director of SHIELD. What was he, stupid?] What happens if we refuse?

You walk and we pretend this never happened. Of course you try this on my base after that and we shoot you both on sight and make things very painful for you after you wake up.

[Phil's handshake is firm but not hard.]

All I ask before you walk is an answer to why you two came snooping around here?

[Methos' eyes narrow. He could imagine the pain he was suggesting. It wouldn't have been the first time he'd been tortured.] Mm... yes, would those be the US Government's famed 'enhanced interrogation techniques'? [That would be sarcasm.]

We came for the Methuselah stone. It should have remained in pieces. And now you have it.

How are you not amused? I mean, look at it! When it grows up, it can be the Avengers mascot. Captain Kitten! No? You're still giving me that look. It's the cape, isn't it? Philip Coulson, how can you not be amused, nay in love, with a kitten wearing a cape with a giant 'A' for Avengers on it!?

And look, I already set up it's toys and scratch pole, so he won't destroy your office and he can come home with us at night. I promise, I'll take care of his litter box, okay? Here and at home.

Phil...that vein on your temple is doing that thing again...How much trouble am I in?

Um.... which why?

Why is part of the room on fire? Or why the prisoner being held here is a grease stain? Or... both whys?

We actually have something a little bit more interesting having been around Thor and all.

[Phil flashes a smile.]

What the old guys don't trust us with the dangerous stuff? Big shocker.

[The kitten is currently sitting at Phil's feet giving him his best most pathetic look as it mews at him as if to say "lookit how cute I am don't you want to love and adore me. Phil sighs and picks up the calico cat trying not to smile.]

I would have rather you discussed this with me first Clint, but I can't ask you to take him back now that he's here.

Both whys please and thank you.

Oh, it's not a matter of trusting you, specifically. [Methos' smart arsed side was coming out to play now. He smiled.] I'm sure you're a very nice man... who occasionally likes to threaten people with creative means of torture you've learned from Norse gods.

But I wouldn't trust anyone with it. Even myself. Perhaps especially myself.

You get killed by a Norse God and you learn a few things. But I can assure you the stone is safe Hydra has no access to it. I had it moved myself.

If I had asked, you would have come up with a million reasons to say no. But I think this would be a really good thing for you. They say that petting animals is a good way to relieve stress and you are the epitome of stress right now.

And look at that face! And he's a total nuzzler, he loves nuzzling up under your chin, it's adorable.

You died? [He hadn't felt a Quickening in this man, so that was out.] Did you use the stone? [That seemed the logical conclusion.]

[Phil shakes his head.]

No I did not. My former boss is a bit stupid but not enough to risk using magic to bring me back. He used alien blood instead.

[Phil laughs as the kitten does indeed nuzzle under his chin then scramble up his arm to sit on his shoulder as if claiming the space for himself]

Okay so I guess he needs a name since he's claimed me already.

[Inside, Clint was doing a total victory dance, but on the outside, he just smiled at Phil.]

He needs a superhero name if he's going to be the mascot. Or we could name him in tribute of Fury, even if he is a dick, and call him Eye Patch. Patch for short.

....that doesn't sound much better. [Methos looked skeptical.] So far you aren't really selling me this job. Getting murdered by gods isn't exactly on my 'to do' list.

Uh no Fury will kill both of us. Try again.

[Phil smiles.]

Come on a tour then see your friend and see if exploring a bit doesn't change your mind. Plus there are symbols I would like you two to take a look at before you leave.

Symbols? [That at least caught his attention. What could they possibly be?]

I'll come, but I'll have you know I'm a notoriously stubborn arse.

My best friend was once Tony Stark there is no stubborn person I can't handle.

[Phil turns as the behind him slides open.]

Come on if you're coming.

Oh, I don't know. He may be stubborn, but I've had many more years practice than him.

[Methos follows, if only to see that Duncan was indeed alright. This was why it was better to not have friends. He could have just walked away, and he'd never have even been in this mess in the first place.]

How about just Patch? Fury would just be left guessing if it anything to do with him, it would be fun. For me. It's not like he's going to be around much, he's in Vanish Protocol isn't he?