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It's a day off, I'll take it. Doesn't Russia have any 'Russia is Awesome' days?

Is Hydra denying you birth control now too? NAZI ISN'T A RELIGION, A-HOLES!!!

Birth control hasn't come up. I'm focusing on staying alive first.

[shrugs] You're a super-spy! Literally. Because you're a super hero too. Just toss a few "Hail Hydra!"s out.

...Buuuuut make sure your buddies know you're faking it.

Somehow I'm not sure I could quite bring myself to fake that. I would rather just continue to deplete their ranks. Unfortunately they really do live their motto.

Only now you've said that I'll be watching for you making the salute. I assume you'd be faking it.

Only cause they recruit. It sounds like a nice intimidation game until you realize SHIELD and the Post Office do the same thing!

Oh, my allegiance is easy to call. Just follow the Benjamins! But between you and me, I don't think Hydra has the cash to hire me. Actually, I hire one of them sometimes. Mostly because Bob is a good guy who likes his dental. And he's useful whenever I need to get in Hydra places to do a thing.

Perhaps there are similarities in process, but the end game is not the same. I doubt HYDRA would go to the trouble of delivering a package without motive and without it causing destruction.

At least I can rely on that part of you being consitent. You and I can a least agree on one thing - and that's taking advantage of HYDRA associates. Sometimes I consider whether or not it's worth hiring you myself just to see how HYDRA would deal with the true chaos you'd unleash.

Oh yeah, they're totally wackjob crazypants world dominating evil Nazis. And NOBODY likes Nazis. Nobody.

ME? Hired by YOU?!? Wow, talk about your dream job. I'd do that for free!!! Well, almost free. Maybe a kiss on the cheek from the Black Widow. Or a hug. Maybe one tiny acknowledgement of being besties, if only for like three seconds? I would frame that three seconds and never wash them again.

You should see what I did to a giant AIM ship in the comics. I just wanted to catch a ride, but they insisted on the whole "prisoner" thing, so I let my bride-to-be eat them all. Because she's a demon queen of the Monster Metropolis.

That's what I believed until I saw how deep they ran inside SHIELD.

Yes, you. And yes, hired by me. It's actually worth that price. While I'd feel more comfortable dealing with money and keep it strictly professional, you don't tend to take advantage of me. Just be clear that it will stay at only a kiss on the cheek and a friendly hug. "Besties"?

Of course she is. But I'm sure she'd make a beautiful demon queen bride.

Well, Nazis like Nazis I guess. I think some people are born Nazis. I can't explain it any other way. It's not like they're persuasive. I mean, it's 2014, right? Anybody who starts running around spouting racism and antisemitism and stuff gets put on blast by all of Tumblr. So way I figure it, there's just a type, where you spout off "Hail Hydra!" and they go "Hey, you know what? Yeah! Totally Hail Hydra!!"

[ducks as a few shots get fired at him from a drive-by] SEE?!? They heard "Hail Hydra" and thought I was being serious!! Aw dammit... [ducks again] I need to stop saying "Hail Hydra". [forgets to duck and gets shot] See, this is why I wear red. That and it's so stylish and highlights my ginormous crush on Spider-Man. And my butt is so CUTE in it!! [twerks it]

DEAL!! Because while my demon queen bride (who is totally a beautiful succubus when she's not hulk-monstering out) in the comics is jealous, my ghost bride here is even worse. We'll keep this strictly hug-and-kiss-on-the-cheek besties. With a selfie. [Because he missed the question mark, of course]

So who am I killing? Do you have any kind of special calling card you want me to leave so they know who hired me?

Coulda been worse. You could've lost.

It feels like we have.

Well, America and most of the rest of the world still has its freedom... I'd say that's a win.

Point. I just don't think we can afford to feel complacent about it and assume we stop here. All we did was expose the beast within.

[She does watch him with some concern when shots are fired. If only so she can avoid getting hit by an ill-aimed shot. She held a finger to her lips to indicate it was alright if he did just want to stop saying "Hail Hydra".]

You have a crush on Spider-Man? Well, I suppose I can understand... Though he isn't my taste.

And I wouldn't want to cause any trouble in paradise. Especially when I have no wish to, ah, go there.

No, not particularly. I never was one for calling cards. Usually it was enough to know my prey recognised me. Though as for a target that is a very good question. I have to be careful about where I point and aim with you.

Hydra is still out there. You know the motto. I'd be careful... [a slight pause] ...but the battle is over for now and there's time to regather strength for the next.

I have every intention of that even if my ability to hide these days is limited. Mm, and the fireworks and the spirit of the festivities. I think Steve would want us to.

I doubt he's thinking too much on what day it is considering his current priority. [Not that he had been eavesdropping on the "spy" community but... he'd been eavesdropping on the community.]

For someone that makes sure the rest of us get the time off we've earned, he needs to remember the same. Oh well, guess he'll miss the fireworks.

[He shrugged.] Maybe the fireworks will get his attention long enough to make him take a reprieve. You tell me, I don't know him all that well really.

[She gave her own shrug.] He's hardly a mystery, but I still don't like to assume I know all that goes on in his head. He's taken me by surprise a few times now.

Guess you really can't judge a book by its cover. [vaguely sarcastic and with a small, wry smirk]

Well, no. You can't. Our entire business is built on that. And sometimes it can be tiring trying to be what people expect. [Natasha returned the smirk before leaning forward to pluck a drink from the cooler.] And sometimes not being what people expect is what saves you. It's incredibly fine line, and incredinly twisted one.

It's not easy, that's all I have to say about it. [Right now. He'd had his fill for a while. Given time, however, and the same righteous cause he would take the mantle up again. But for now, he'd complain about how hard it had been to play for the wrong team.]

[She gave a nod of understanding and even reached out to give his shoulder a squeeze. She can only imagine how hard it had been for him. She hadn't exactly been merciful when she thought he'd been HYDRA.] Here's to surviving. And here's to Cap's birthday.

Well...not really. But Tumblr seems to think so, and it sells comics, so I roll with it! And hey, if it gets to the point where they actually make a movie of me like they did for you, and Andrew Garfield guest stars, that'll guarantee me butts in the seats and a sequel.

It's all good. Not that I don't have an epic crush on you, like pretty much everybody else ever (and also, everyone knows my taste for redheads. It seems to be a thing)...but really, everyone also knows that you and Bucky are like, OTP.

[shrugs] Think of me like...a flamethrower? No, you can aim those okay. A dirty nuke? Maybe closer. You aim where you want a wide swath of damage and really don't care about collateral damage. Also where you want attention. See, if I were you, I'd use me as the best distraction of all time. All of Hydra looks MY way while you go in and do your silent spy and/or assassin thing.