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I'm ever so upset with you, young man.

Do you even know how much these robes cost? [Gilderoy has no idea what was in that man's crate but it smells just awfully and it's all over his beautiful lilac waistcoat now!]

Um. No?

[He blinks, only once, then frowns, crouching down to try to salvage what he can, scowling up at the guy. Not cool, man. Not cool at all. You can tell because he starts gesticulating and his voice starts inching up in octaves the longer he talks.]

Dude, you were the one who ran into me. Do you have any idea how rare these things are? Do you have any idea how hard it is to get your hands on another one if you lose the first one because some idiot walks into you with his...stylish but extremely outdated clothes and makes you drop it?

[Gilderoy is probably the only person who finds that scowl intimidating and even flinches at it. Help~! This little fellow isn't going to hit him, is he?

He forces a dazzling but slightly nervous smile to shine down on him.]

Oh, I'm terribly sorry~! I had no idea- [A gasp!] But- outdated? How DARE you. You're not even wearing a cravat and you go and insult my robes, the very latest in wi- in gentlemen's fashion?

Do you have any idea who I am? THE Professor Gilderoy Lockhart? [Gilderoy knows this young man's a muggle but he's just- just upset right now. Outdated clothes? Really?]

[Seriously, Gilderoy; Newt is like the least intimidating person ever. Particularly when he gets all shrieky like he's quickly approaching. He continues to glare up at the man in between trying to collect everything together back into what's left of the crate.]

And I'm Doctor Newton Geiszler, I don't see what that's got to do with anything. I don't care if you're Dr. Daisuke Serizawa, it is practically impossible to get a fully intact kaiju liver period, let alone a category 4. So thank you, very much, for contaminating it. That's not gonna screw up my research at all. I'm soooo sorry you got a little goo on your fancy druid robes. People don't even wear cravats anymore.

You gonna help at least, or are you just gonna stand there and stare at me?

[Indeed, he's not even intimidating enough to send Lockhart into hiding! He's just standing there, that big smile plastered on while he's being ranted at.]

Now, listen here! I haven't the foggiest idea what you're all talking about, my dear fellow... it's all rather confusing and you're being quite rude and you're hurting my ears. [Gilderoy can't follow Newt in the slightest and ends up wiping his lilac waistcoat off as well as he can, using a frilly handkerchief.]

Help? Come now, I'm not touching that goopy blue mess. Would you like to borrow my handkerchief?

Kaiju. Giant monster that ate half the eastern seaboard? Wrecked a bunch of buildings? Flooded at least two cities? Seriously, where have you been? This is a liver. I'm hoping to try to figure out how they filter things, since they're so toxic naturally. But I can't do that if it's splattered all over the ground. So I'm sorry if I'm rude, but you're interfering with scientific progress here, professor.

[His arms wave around for emphasis as he speaks, flinging goo particles as they move.

And then he starts muttering as he goes back to trying to get it in the box.]

Seriously, what are you a professor of. Staring at people? Lacy handkerchiefs? Knocking into people? Come on.

I...I still don't- are you defeating these monsters? Perhaps I could help, being something of a professional. [Gilderoy winks at him, hardly aware just how frustrated and upset poor Newton must feel. Perhaps he could take credit for whatever this little doctor is trying to do?

He fixes his blond curls and takes out a small, gilded mirror in order to do so, one has to look one's best no matter what after all, before noticing Newton is still there, ranting at him. My goodness.]

I'm a teacher at a private school- say, will you stop being so rude? I'm FAMOUS, you know! [Oh dear, he's puffing up.] I-I honestly didn't think you'd be so unpleasant, you're quite sweet looking with those chubby cheeks.

[That's rich coming from Gilderoy~]

Edited (typo eee) 2014-08-02 16:15 (UTC)

[He laughs. It's teetering towards exasperated and hysterical.]

Me? No. I study them. It's the pilots with the Jaegers that do all that, I'm just in K-Science. I mean, I help them fight them, but I don't get in those suits. You're a professional...what. Monster hunter? Like Van Helsing? What are you gonna do, stab them with a wooden stake?

[Gilderoy can smile and wink at him all he wants, Newt is unamused.

And then he starts on judging and commenting on his appearance, and that just completely throws Newt for a loop. He stops what he's doing completely to stare up at him, mouth working like a fish for a few moments while he tries to articulate a response.]

...what?

You'll need a dashing monster hunter such as myself along, then! The best there is, I'm sure, though I'm far too modest to brag. [Gilderoy smiles, cheeks dimpling and fully aware of his 'charm'. Surely this doctor fellow will forgive him for spilling all those, ah, messy things?]

Well... you're such a little cherub of a man! One wouldn't expect rude language and unpleasantries and the like. [He- he's moving to pinch your cheek, Newt.]

You don't even know what a kaiju is. How do you expect to take one on? You don't know the first thing about them.

[He huffs in protest, pulls away and crosses his arms across his chest. If he were a violent man he'd punch him, but he's not. Evasion seems the better plan.]

Stop it. I am not. I'm not a cherub. I'm...manly. And...not sweet. The opposite of sweet.

[Gilderoy has no idea how utterly annoying he is, always clingy and giggling, although punching will do little good! Unless you want an unconcious wizard on your hands because he'll most certainly faint.]

Oh... I don't have to! Why, I've dealt with nearly every kind of dangerous creature there is. [He pats his hair with another bright smile. Sadly, he's trying to make friends... which is exactly why he doesn't have any.]

But of course you are! Just a little on the short side. We can't all be Gilderoy Lockhart~

Not kaiju. They're hundreds of feet tall, weigh a few hundred thousand tons, and destroy everything in their path. Their blood is acid, they're all radioactive, and if you want to take one out? You need this giant metal suit and two people to control it and you just bash it until it stops moving. And they're not even the worst part.

[He swats at the hand and scowls some more, not that it's much of a deterrent.]

Why would I want to be you?

[Gilderoy's eyes glaze over a little when Newt begins yet another rant about something or another... really, he'd only be able to pay attention if he described Gilderoy Lockharts instead of kaijus!] Oh... how fascinating!

Well, I'm terrifically handsome. And famous! I'm wonderful.

Would you like my autograph, dear boy?

I have the hardest time believing you.

[ She believes him. Charlie's just giving Newt a hard time. ]

[He blinks, all the irritation dissolving in favor of pure confusion.]

...why would I want your autograph?

I happen to be a best-selling author. [Gilderoy can't believe his looks alone aren't enough...! Really now.]

Do you want lilac ink, dear? Or pink.

Why? I'm telling the truth, I swear.

[He's half suspicious, half over-eager, desperate for her to buy it. He knows it's true anyway, it's just not easy when she doubts. Whether or not she actually does, she seems sincere enough for him.]

[ She's just going to make her best doubting face, which lbr is epic and she's had a lot of practice, and wait for him to crack or something Just to see how far she can take this. ]