sixwordstories | (no subject)

Well that's really gay.

Hey, no one ever said I was straight. Just because I have a wife doesn't make me an arrow.

So you're half fag? For real?

Bisexual is still too narrow, amigo.

What do you do, fuck your dog?

I fucked Death.

And a genderless alien.

Is Death a guy or a girl?

That's fucking weird. You're fucking weird.

Depends. Death doesn't have a gender. But we shared a lot of things in common.

At least I have fun. I'd fucking hate to be normal.

Like long walks on the beach?

I have fun too and I'm not a big fucking gay weirdo.

Nah, like bubble baths and murder. They were a big fan of lavender.

Keep trying to piss me off, bro, I run the same scam you do, shit doesn't work on me.

Hey, what do you know, we could have had a threesome.

And what scam is that?

Eh, I'm immortal so we had to break up.

The whole 'piss off the dangerous lunatic' scam. You're making fun of a guy who has told you he doesn't die, covered in weapons.

I am perfectly capable of giving you a demonstration.

This is an old suit, I can stand to stain it.

Death is immortal too, isn't it?

You seem to think I care, either way. Get your fucking panties out of a bunch and smoke some pot. You need it.

Yeah, but you don't get to meet Death unless you die. I've died a few times, just doesn't take.

I wouldn't get the impression that you care if you didn't keep picking at it. But apparently, who I put my dick inside of is a big deal to you.

Can't get high, drugs don't take either.

How'd you manage that one? Sounds fucking horrible.

Who people put their dicks in should be a big deal to everyone.

Man, it really sucks to be you.

I've bled out, I've shot myself in the head, drowned a few times. Once cutting my head off used to do it, but the body just grows back now. Thanos made sure of that. Probably don't know him, shitty ass God anyway. But when I used to die, I'd meet Death, and it was the best time of my life.

Why? Afraid I want to put it in you?

Eh, you don't even miss it after ten years.

It's better than here, right? Way fucking better.

Hah, funny.

My drugs are different, though. They might get you high.

Yeah. It's better. Anything that might have been causing you pain while you're alive goes away when you die. Anything.

Unfortunately, I have standards.

Sorry, kiddo. Had my fill of drugs a long time ago.

Sounds pretty decent to me.

As if I'd ever stick it in your spandex covered ass.

Whatever, lady. More for me.

Not a bad deal.

Sorry princess, I don't bottom for twinks.

Have fun.

So why the hell are people so afraid?

Twinks? On what fucking planet am I a twink, you asshole?

Oh, I will.

No one else knows Death the way I do.

Earth, asshole. It's in those skinny twink arms, those tiny twink legs, all the little ribs in your little twink chest, the fact that you probably couldn't grow a beard to save your ass and you also haven't seen any action since 2012.

If you were even old enough then to get it. I'd like to think that I can read guys pretty damn well and compared to Nate Summers you are goddamn Justin Beiber.

Edited 2014-08-26 05:24 (UTC)

You're probably not the only immortal one. How are things going with rage ball of fire, by the way?

You're so full of shit. You don't know a damn thing about me. I don't even have to bother to defend any of that, cause I know you're just spouting words out of your ass.

Believe me, I get my fair share of chicks every fucking day. And this Nate Summers douche sounds like a bigger fag than you are.

He's definitely still alive and eaten about one hundred bullets. Johnny punched me in the face.

I know you're a try hard drug dealer who hates his life, actually. I know because you offered me drugs, and you're trying to get under my skin. You know damn well I can fuck you up beyond belief, but you just don't give a shit. And I know that because I am the exact same way shit head. You and I have the same fucking brain.

[The action is impossible to really follow, Wade never telegraphs any of his moves. One moment, he's standing there, smiling, and the next, the butt of a machine gun is aiming to be slammed full force into Kavinsky's temple]

Hopefully your face fucked up his hand. At least.

[Kavinsky rolls his eyes like it's his job. Hey. He's more than a drug dealer, alright?] You got one part right. I just don't give a shit.

[Kavinsky only flinches because of the speed of it all. Impressive, really. Is he scared, though? Not at all.] Fucking do it, then! You said it was better over there anyway, right? Just fucking do it already.