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Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

[He groans.]

I don't think I'm drunk enough for that one.

How about...

Does February March?

No but April May.

[Taliesin groans again.] That one is so old.

It's not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn't have the balls to do it.

Cue the rimshot?

...Well done.

I literally have one thousand and one pages of this stuff, and you're stuck with me for the next five hours.

Kiss kiss.

I liked it. I think I'm goddamn hilarious.

Where's a time machine when I need one?

No where around here, babe. So anyway, let's get into more of these suckers.

[Oh god, this is going to be the worst stakeout ever. Rikki... well, Nomad in the uniform, leans back with an exaggerated sigh.] Kill me now.

D'ywanna hear another one?

A piano fell down a mineshaft. It was a flat minor.

[Two can play this game, Deadpool.] Yeah? Well, why were all the other numbers afraid of Seven? Cause Seven ate Nine.

There was a sign on the lawn of the rehab center. It said 'keep off the Grass.'