sixwordstories | (no subject)

Quit what?

Everything. I need to find something new. Something challenging tht isn't a try of my patience or tolerance for stupidity.

...join the air force?

I don't really take orders very well.

Oh yeah.

Try... target shooting.

I was thinking Criminal Mastermind because I never fail when I put some measure of effort into things, and I'm smarter than just about everyone.

You are from a rich family. That helps.

I am! And an old Politics and Lawyer family. It's like the cards are stacked for me to have an evil Empire!
Here's a deal! I take over the world and you don't blow up face, I'll give you Canada. Or Australia. Your choice!

I actually agree.

Hm. I dunno, I could do better on my own. Nobody wants those two shitholes.

Yeah, That's the problem with taking over the world. Who would actually want it?

It's more trouble than it's worth.

...I ever tell you I tried to raise an army outside of Vegas?

Well it kinda sucks.

...You did not. Were you going to take over the world?

Well. At least a large portion of the USA.

Tell me your master plan involved sinking Florida into the ocean.

Obviously.

This is why we're friends.

Because we know Florida is evil?

And the willingness to wipe it off the planet. See we're not totally evil!

We'd be doing everyone a favour!

Ugh. I don't want to be a superhero.

I sort of am sometimes.

Naw, you're just the tall guy who buys me alcohol and lets me take naked photos of him.

I work cheap, huh?

It's okay. So do I.

I like working with you. It's oddly comforting.

I stand by my classification of you as total weirdo.

I can't argue with that.

Well you could, but you don't.

I have no evidence to the contrary is why.

Please. Like that actually stops anyone from arguing.

I live with a lawyer so it stops me.

I grew up with lawyers. Doesn't stop me in the slightest... it just makes me really good at bullshit and lies.

I've never mastered the art of lying.

It's usually more trouble than it's worth. But it's pretty useful to have as a skill when it's worth it.

I used to just mind control people.

I don't have that power and nipple piercings only do so much.

Saucy.

Yeah, but not super effective in sinking florida into the ocean.

No, sadly.

Ohwell. Such is my life, I guess. Bitchy, rich but unable to do much about it.

I could brainwash them all into letting you go.

Yeah, but then I'd have to do Fashion Week to pay the bills.

Point.