(no subject)

[charliekellyrat]

[ Charlie's holding a 'free hogs' sign. ]

Comments

[nothawkette]

[She's staring at the sign.]

You're giving away pigs?

[charliekellyrat]

Pigs? Nah... I'm giving away free hugs! [ Charlie looks super duper hopeful that this pretty girl's going to hug him. ]

[nothawkette]

It says "Free Hogs" though.

[charliekellyrat]

Y-yeah. Well, maybe that's how you spell hugs and you're just bad at reading, lady!

[sawvirginmary]

[Free what now?]

You...

I...

What?

[nothawkette]

Hey. Don't be rude. I'm just pointing out that you would probably have better results if you spelled it right.

[alwayshadballs]

Free pigs? I could always use a free pig if you're offering.

[charliekellyrat]

Free hugs, dude! C'mere.

[ Charlie spreads his arms, grinning. ]

[charliekellyrat]

Hey... I'm not giving you free pigs or free rats or free chickens! You can have a hug though.

I'm going to rub it in Mac's face that I hugged such a big dude.

[charliekellyrat]

Spelling is like, super hard for me. [ Charlie admits, a little bashful all of a sudden. ]

[no_ordinarylife]

"I'm ready for that free hug, Mudketeer." Jim opens up his arms in anticipation.

[charliekellyrat]

Charlie grins, recognizing Jim of course and jumping into his arms. Luckily he's a small guy.

"Hey!! I'm giving out free hugs to do something nice 'cause..." He forgot why, it was something his friends at the bar came up with, probably because he kept trying to hug them.

[no_ordinarylife]

Jim isn't prepared for the enthusiasm and almost loses his balance. He gives him a hearty pat on the back before squeezing back.

"Hugs are good, whatever the reason. Just don't knock me over, okay?"

[charliekellyrat]

Charlie almost nods off a little, it's nice and warm and he's been standing there for a couple hours. He blinks. "Yeah... sure, dude!"

He knows dudes don't snuggle other dudes but- but snuggling. Definitely snuggling.

[alwayshadballs]

If you're going to give me make it quick, I got a reputation to uphold. But you'd do way better if you were offering free hogs or chickens.

[no_ordinarylife]

He laughs before disentangling himself. He likes snuggling as much as the next guy but Charlie's not his type. Sorry Mudketeer.

"How long you been out here, man? You look like you're about ready to fall over."

[charliekellyrat]

Charlie's not most people's type, it doesn't help that he always smells like some kind of cheese. And spilled beer.

"It feels like days or something!" He can hardly keep his eyes open.

[charliekellyrat]

I'm sorry, dude! I was trying to get this waitress to hug me but I didn't see her yet... if I had a chicked I'd eat it myself. Chicken's good.

[ Charlie gives him a big hug. ]

[no_ordinarylife]

Despite the hygiene issues, Jim has a soft spot for him.

"Take a load off. Giving hugs shouldn't wear you out. You want the rest of my coffee?"

[charliekellyrat]

He's not used to anyone being nice to him... especially not guys like this, usually treat Charlie like dirt.

He grins, nodding eagerly. "Yeah! I should take a coffee break. Awesome." He reaches out to take it, thirsty and pretty hungry too.

[no_ordinarylife]

It's half full. But it's Jim's second cup. He doesn't mind.

"You hungry? I could grab us something to eat. I think there's a deli around the corner."

[alwayshadballs]

[ Peter grimaces at the hug. He's not exactly a hugging sort, but he rolls with it for this poor guys sake. ]

Chicks dig cute things like baby pigs and baby chicks. Especially if they're cute looking.

[charliekellyrat]

It's good! Real coffee, not that powdery crap.

"I dunno, dude... do I have to pay you back later?" His stomach grumbles a bit.

[no_ordinarylife]

"Nah, no worries. It's on me. What do you want?"

[charliekellyrat]

I bet you're awesome with girls! Do you really think I should get a baby pig?

Does it have to be a live one? [ Still huggin'. ]

[charliekellyrat]

"Cheese..." Charlie's expression betrays that 'free cheese' is stuff the little guy's dreams are made of.

[no_ordinarylife]

He smiles. "You want meat with that? Or just as much cheese as they can sandwich between two pieces of bread?"

[charliekellyrat]

"Dude, yeah! Meat, cheese, maybe like an egg or something... or maybe cheese with extra cheese. That's awesome too." Free grub!!

[alwayshadballs]

[ Peter doesn't push Charlie aside. ]

Nah, I'm sure a stuffed baby pig would be fine. Just make sure it's a toy, and not something disgusting.

[no_ordinarylife]

Jim comes back a few minutes later with bacon, egg, and cheddar sandwiches. Heart attacks waiting to happen. He's also picked up another large coffee. Just because.

He hands two sandwiches over and keeps the third for himself. "Dig in, Mudketeer."

[charliekellyrat]

Charlie's eyes are as wide as saucers when he sees those awesome sandwiches... he's getting TWO? That's-

He tears up a bit. It's pretty pathetic, he knows that, but he never gets a good meal like that and he just can't help getting a little sniffly. "...smells- smells great. T- thanks, dude." He tries to ignore his tears and digs in instead. Mmm!

[no_ordinarylife]

If Jim thinks it's at all pathetic, it doesn't show. He just sits down next to Charlie to enjoy his sandwich. "Don't mention it," he says sincerely. "If you're still hungry when you get done, let me know."

[charliekellyrat]

"This sandwich is mmf- is so good!" Charlie finishes the first one very quickly and starts on the second one inmediately. He gives his stomach a satisfied pat once he's done, before clearly lying to Jim.

"Yeah, I'm still hungry..." He plans to put it in his pocket and eat it later.

[charliekellyrat]

Yeah... I'll remember that! You probably get loads of girls kissing you and shit.

Kissing is kind of gross but I'd kiss the Waitress. [ He pokes Peter's bicep, a bit jealous. ]

[no_ordinarylife]

There's been a time in his life when food was few and far between. When it was either eat something rotten or not eat at all. He doesn't begrudge Charlie the lie. He offers him the rest of his own half eaten sandwich. He can get more later if he needs it. "You want it?"

[alwayshadballs]

[ Peter finally has had enough with the hug as he pulls away from it. With a smile on his face, he laughs. ]

Dude I get more chicks to do more than just kiss me. But trust me on the cute things, and that waitress will want you to bring her home with you.

[charliekellyrat]

Charlie kind of wants to eat it himself now he looks at it like that, bacon and cheese looking so good! He grins. "Thanks!"

He eagerly stuffs his face and his tummy's visibly full, that's a nice warm feeling too. "...now I'm getting sleepy, dude." If only he could have great food like this every day.

[charliekellyrat]

So you're saying that if I bring a stuffed pig with me or a dead pig or a pig head... I'll lose my virginity?

Dude, that's awesome!

[alwayshadballs]

[ Peter gives Charlie a look of disgust, and he places his hands on Charlie's shoulders. He feels like a dad in a cheesy sitcom about to give his son a lecture about how to pick up chicks. ]

No dead pigs or pig heads. Buy her a cute pink one from a store that makes grunting sounds. [ Not that his advice is any better. ] It has to be alive or a toy pig. Even a tiny plastic one will be impressive.

[no_ordinarylife]

Jim is starting to see a definite pattern here. Charlie eats. Charlie sleeps. Rinse. Repeat. And Jim is such a shameless enabler. "Take a nap, Mudketeer. You day is complete. You got hugs AND hog," he declared, referring to the bacon. "What more could you ask for?"

[charliekellyrat]

It's true, Charlie's a hard worker at the pub but his off days are just eating and sleeping. He grins drowsily. "Yeah... this was a sweet day!"

He just curls up on the bench, clearly able to sleep without pillows or blankets. "You going to take a nap too?"

[charliekellyrat]

You're some kind of expert, man! I'll just... steal a toy pig somewhere and hang out with it, near the waitress. She's going to think I'm cute.

You can't come though, you're too good looking and she's going to want to bang you. [ Charlie knows women! Or... he thinks he does. ]

[no_ordinarylife]

"Nah. I don't take naps well," he explains. "But I'll sit here and drink my other coffee."

[charliekellyrat]

"Naps are the shit." Charlie announces before nodding off almost inmediately. He's probably going to be stalking Jim now for the free food. May even bring Frank along!

Thanks for the thread. :)

[no_ordinarylife]

When Charlie wakes up, Jim is gone. Like he was never there. Until the next time, Mudketeer.

[alwayshadballs]

You're talking to a pro when it comes to picking up women. Hey, hey, I won't get in on your turf with that waitress! I maybe the dude chicks want to bang, but I'm not going to cut into another guy's turf!

Just remember a toy pig and not anything that looks dead. [ Peter rubs his chin. ] And you're going to need to let me know how that goes. If she bangs you, I'll be sure to buy you a beer.